What an awesome day to be alive
Snarf Snarf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
What an awesome day to be alive
I say that because, just by virtue of my being alive, today is an awesome day. I woke up this morning, and that's something that a whole lot of folks didn't do. So I'm already pretty blessed just by opening my eyes.
Life certainly hasn't always been easy since I've stopped drinking, but it's infinitely better than life with alcohol. Of course I have worries and anxieties and things like that, but it's on such a different level that it was before. I worry about getting my work finished, accomplishing goals I've set for myself, walking the talk so that I can be an example for others who are struggling, and doing the right things even when people aren't looking.
That's a far cry from worrying about how badly I'll smell like booze tomorrow morning, or how I'm going to get my shift covered if I drink too much, or how much crap my girl is going to give me when I get home (and sometimes waiting till she's in bed before I come home so I don't have to hear it), or being anxious because I can't pay my bills but I know that somehow I managed to spend $30 at the bar and buy myself a 6-pack of tall boys on the way home.
Since I've stopped boozing, I realized I'm OK with not achieving these grandiose visions I had for myself, and by being OK with that I don't get depressed when these things don't occur. In my recovery, I've simply become a normal, dependable, responsible member of society. And I can't imagine anything I'd rather be.
I don't need to be making millions of dollars in front of some TV camera somewhere. When someone tells me, "Thank you," or, "You really helped me out," or, "You're doing a great job at work," the feeling I get is all the riches I need.
Since I've stopped drinking, I've repaired my relationship with my fiancee that was all but shattered on March 24 of last year (that was my second DUI and she wanted me out of her life...we are now trying to plan a beach wedding for this summer). I've changed employment to a place that is much closer to home, more profitable, and run by a much more awesome owner (and I've been promoted in the last 2 weeks). I've made the Dean's List in school (3.5 GPA...about 2X higher than my GPA when I drank). I've become a better friend, a brother, son, fiancee, employee and boss. I've gotten thousands of dollars in dental work that was very badly needed for a long time (I had teeth like Jaws in the 007 movies...now I've got a Sears catalogue smile). I don't get angry and lose my temper. I don't yell at people. I don't pass out on the couch and wake up wearing the same clothes I had on the day before. I don't spend the night on other people's couches, because I'm not out drinking till all hours of the morning. I appreciate life. I laugh and smile and even bob my head and tap my toes to good music. I enjoy and thank God for every single day.
And that last sentence has been the key. I stopped fighting God (or whatever my notion of God was) and started listening. Instead of closing off my heart, I opened it and received his love and guidance. Once I finally realized I wasn't in control, and I said, "You know what, God? You win. I give up. Tell me what you want me to do," that's when things in my life really began to change. That's when I started being thankful for what I received, instead of longing for what I didn't. That's when I started helping other people, instead of wanting everything from everyone. That's when I started being proud of the things I accomplish, rather than depressed about the things I haven't (yet).
I finally stopped fighting against myself, my addiction, and my higher power. I gave up, and I gave in. And that has made all the difference.
And now I think I will go enjoy this wonderful day, even with the 8 buses and 2 trains I have to take round-trip to the probation office. If it wasn't for the crime I committed to be placed on this probation, I may not have put down the alcohol and gotten to where I am today. So thank you, God, for this day and for this probation. I'm going to go handle both in the best manner possible.
Life certainly hasn't always been easy since I've stopped drinking, but it's infinitely better than life with alcohol. Of course I have worries and anxieties and things like that, but it's on such a different level that it was before. I worry about getting my work finished, accomplishing goals I've set for myself, walking the talk so that I can be an example for others who are struggling, and doing the right things even when people aren't looking.
That's a far cry from worrying about how badly I'll smell like booze tomorrow morning, or how I'm going to get my shift covered if I drink too much, or how much crap my girl is going to give me when I get home (and sometimes waiting till she's in bed before I come home so I don't have to hear it), or being anxious because I can't pay my bills but I know that somehow I managed to spend $30 at the bar and buy myself a 6-pack of tall boys on the way home.
Since I've stopped boozing, I realized I'm OK with not achieving these grandiose visions I had for myself, and by being OK with that I don't get depressed when these things don't occur. In my recovery, I've simply become a normal, dependable, responsible member of society. And I can't imagine anything I'd rather be.
I don't need to be making millions of dollars in front of some TV camera somewhere. When someone tells me, "Thank you," or, "You really helped me out," or, "You're doing a great job at work," the feeling I get is all the riches I need.
Since I've stopped drinking, I've repaired my relationship with my fiancee that was all but shattered on March 24 of last year (that was my second DUI and she wanted me out of her life...we are now trying to plan a beach wedding for this summer). I've changed employment to a place that is much closer to home, more profitable, and run by a much more awesome owner (and I've been promoted in the last 2 weeks). I've made the Dean's List in school (3.5 GPA...about 2X higher than my GPA when I drank). I've become a better friend, a brother, son, fiancee, employee and boss. I've gotten thousands of dollars in dental work that was very badly needed for a long time (I had teeth like Jaws in the 007 movies...now I've got a Sears catalogue smile). I don't get angry and lose my temper. I don't yell at people. I don't pass out on the couch and wake up wearing the same clothes I had on the day before. I don't spend the night on other people's couches, because I'm not out drinking till all hours of the morning. I appreciate life. I laugh and smile and even bob my head and tap my toes to good music. I enjoy and thank God for every single day.
And that last sentence has been the key. I stopped fighting God (or whatever my notion of God was) and started listening. Instead of closing off my heart, I opened it and received his love and guidance. Once I finally realized I wasn't in control, and I said, "You know what, God? You win. I give up. Tell me what you want me to do," that's when things in my life really began to change. That's when I started being thankful for what I received, instead of longing for what I didn't. That's when I started helping other people, instead of wanting everything from everyone. That's when I started being proud of the things I accomplish, rather than depressed about the things I haven't (yet).
I finally stopped fighting against myself, my addiction, and my higher power. I gave up, and I gave in. And that has made all the difference.
And now I think I will go enjoy this wonderful day, even with the 8 buses and 2 trains I have to take round-trip to the probation office. If it wasn't for the crime I committed to be placed on this probation, I may not have put down the alcohol and gotten to where I am today. So thank you, God, for this day and for this probation. I'm going to go handle both in the best manner possible.
Snarf Snarf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Originally Posted by Zuri 
Can I copy this? I'd love to have it as a desktop background
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 13
Wow, Snarf! You're post is just breath taking and made my heart pump with ..... I could not tell you but, WOW! Thank you so much for this post. I will read this on a daily basis. Absolutley FANTASTIC! =))
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Snarf!
What an AWESOME post. Well said, well said. I wanted to copy so many things and comment, but I'd pretty much have to copy your whole post.
I went to see my PO today too, so you and I were probably in Lawrenceville about the same time
I just feel better about life after reading this post. Thank you.
Kjell
What an AWESOME post. Well said, well said. I wanted to copy so many things and comment, but I'd pretty much have to copy your whole post.
I went to see my PO today too, so you and I were probably in Lawrenceville about the same time
I just feel better about life after reading this post. Thank you.
Kjell
Snarf Snarf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Kjell, actually on the way there now, good buddy. I do afternoon appointments since it takes about 3 hours to get there. But that gives me plenty of time to read or do whatever.
And thanks to everyone for the awesome responses. You're certainly helping to make this a great day!
And thanks to everyone for the awesome responses. You're certainly helping to make this a great day!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California
Posts: 499
Not so monumental as yours...but was in the bathroom at the local Goodwill store yesterday, washing my hands, and I just felt so good. I felt blessed, yes blessed, I could be up and about and literally enjoying washing my hands. I felt lucky.
And yes, an awesome day to be alive!
And yes, an awesome day to be alive!
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Originally Posted by Snarf
Kjell, actually on the way there now, good buddy. I do afternoon appointments since it takes about 3 hours to get there. But that gives me plenty of time to read or do whatever.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Chantilly, VA
Posts: 216
One of the most inspirational posts I have read here in a long, long while! Thank you so much for taking the time to write it and to reach so many others who really needed the lift you provided! Going to have to print this one out and tape it to the bathroom mirror so I see it every morning to remind me of just how _Absurdly_ fortunate I am in SO many ways! Thanks again Snarf,
..Mike
..Mike
Riding Barefoot
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 452
Originally Posted by Snarf
... doing the right things even when people aren't looking.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,413
Originally Posted by Snarf
In my recovery, I've simply become a normal, dependable, responsible member of society. And I can't imagine anything I'd rather be.
Just so happy for you.
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