lockcap

Hi Everyone,
I haven't been on SR for awhile, because I felt I didn't need to...I was feeling pretty good about not craving alcohol and thought I was able to control my drinking..WOW- was I wrong...when will I learn???
The moment I got home from work-started off having one glass, that soon became 2-3 glasses and all the time telling myself..."No big deal, you can control this!"
Well last night- I drank 2 bottles!!! Once I started drinking, the wine takes over and I have to keep drinking until it is gone.....
First thing this AM, I knew I had to get back to SR and visit with all of you daily....Thank you for being here.
The longest I have gone without drinking has been 3 weeks......
So...here I go again.....Day 1 for me.....
Have a wonderful sober day everyone...

least

I hope this can be your last Day One.

Kmber2010

Glad you are back Lock and I get the whole go at sobriety where you feel great and think you got this. I had mine January of last year and had over a few months before I thought I could handle 1 drink. That quickly turned into buying bottles and almost dying from an alcohol induced panic attack where I mixed booze and pain meds. That was the end of alcohol in my life.

What I did was toss it all out and come right back here. Then I added face to face support since I knew that just quitting wasn't enough....I needed some help making change.

Greatest decision I made and I am blessed everyday to be here and in recovery.

You can do this!

Stevie1

Lockcap, the best we can do if we fall is pick ourselves up and keep trying....I've done it countless times myself and came slinking back to this forum a few weeks ago with a similar post to yours.

One of the mods here often asks...so what are you going to do differently this time?

If you're not doing so, perhaps consider counseling, AA or some sort of program...hang in there.

Jabbadabutt

it is true when they said to me that once you pick it up again you just continue where you left off (and it will only be a matter of time before it gets even worse). I lived it....I tested it....its true. Keep trying. Do it for YOU.

ReadyAndAble

Welcome back! Amazing, isn't it, how attempts to drink normally always end the same? I've read posts here from folks who had 20 years sober thought they could handle having a drink now and then, and ended up right back at square one. Glad you stopped pretty quickly and came back here!

Zig210

Hey...know many people never feel remorse or self-loathing from getting drunk? Lots of folks...we all recognize the horror of it...I have done what u have a ga-zillion times. Don't beat yourself up...just get back on that sober wagon...

CarolD

Welcome back...

Do you have any plans about how best to move forward?
My recovery required changes ...AA taught me how to do them.

ronf

Lockcap, Ya sound just like me in the early days. It's called Drinking under the influence, LOL. All it takes is one to be under the influence. Get back on the horse and ride off into the sunset. Glad you came back!

Best of luck, Ron

Snarf

I agree with Carol. My recovery involved changing pretty much everything about me and the way I lived my life. That journey began in the rooms of AA. I hope you can find the help you need.

Dee74

Welcome back lockjaw

I'm with Carol...so where to from here?
D

Zebra1275

it is true when they said to me that once you pick it up again you just continue where you left off (and it will only be a matter of time before it gets even worse). I lived it....I tested it....its true.

I also did some extended research on this topic.

I agree, it's true.

Zig210

One thing that helps me...remembering every morning I had a horrible hangover, and asked myself why...again. You will get there...

Lipitor

Im not even on day one yet.....It sounds great to me that you were able to go three weeks......How did it feel ????

L

laramia

I relapse constantly -- i'm just back a week. and now i realize i have to kick the xanax. from reading these threads, i realized that i was never really sober even when i wasn't drinking and working steps ... because i was on xanax. my brain never got clear, and i think, in hindsight, might have been contributing to my relapses. i'm seeing a doc on thursday to hopefully give me a tapering schedule ... i need to be off these pills. and not pick up a drink ... nothing good ever comes of it.

lockcap

Thank you for all the support and encouraging words..
I'm working at this..
just started reading the BB...
Thank you!

Goofyish

Day 2 here with you, again.

noonereal

Xanax is way serious

finding a doctor that understands this is near impossible

if you need info please pm or post

this is not like quiting drinking, this is a whole other animal