CountFenring

Hi all. I've been reading some of the accounts here and I thought I'd add my story. I'm a 46 year old married man. I've been a weekend drinker for as long as I can remember, but it's only been the past year or so that I've become very worried over how I sometimes feel the next day if I overdo it the night before.

It seems that for me if I go out, I can better control the amount that I drink. When I stay at home and have friends over, I really put them down because I don't have to worry about driving home. Not all of the time, but enough where I feel that I have a problem with it.

My wife and I enable each other on the weekends, and there are weeks where we will each have two glasses of wine on weekday evenings. I don't have a real issue with that, but it seems that I'm never satisfied with only two glasses - never mind when I try to limit it to one glass!

This past weekend we had some people over for the Superbowl and I was planning to take the next day off to recover. I think it was because I knew I wasn't going to work the next day that I really went overboard with my beer drinking. As expected, I felt like hell the next day and woke with feelings of overwhelming depression with undertones of guilt, dread, and shame. Nice way to spend my day off, huh? It was later that day that I found this site.

I've told my wife about my binging concerns, and she's willing to help by stopping also. I'm not sure if she's all that thrilled about it, but at least she's willing to go along with it.

Anyway, this is the third day without a drink, which isn't really all that special since I usually don't drink during the week (until Thursay with a glass or three of wine anyway). I am worried about this weekend though. We've made it through a weekend before just to prove to ourselves that we could do it, but I think I want to be done for good now.

I'm fairly successful in my marriage and career, but I wonder how much more successful I could have been without the wasted energy (money, emotion, hangovers, you-name-it) involved in drinking and planning my weekends around drinking.

That thought makes me sad and hopeful at the same time.

nandm

Welcome to SR

reggiewayne

Welcome Count. What you are describing sounds like alcoholism to me. I'm not calling you one, I'm just simply making an observation. The things that jump out to me are arranging your life around alcohol and losing control of intake at times. Couple that with a lot of guilt the day after and that pretty much sounds like alcoholism...

I can't speak for you, but I know I'm an alcoholic. I did exactly what you describe. Centered my entire life around my buzz. Might have a few drinks though the week but always had the weekend lined up which always included a few nights when I didn't have to "limit myself". Those nights were always followed by shame / guilt, headaches, tiredness, and the resolve of "I'm not doing that again'... then Wednsday would come and I'd have just a few (to take the edge off). Eventually Friday would come and start the entire process over again....

Yup, that's alcoholism. Today, I don't live that way. I find that I can't get drunk, do dumb things, feel guilty and shameful the next day, etc... if I just don't take the first drink. If you feel that you are in a place where you'd like to stop having to take that first drink - you're ready to enter recovery...

I wish you the best!!

coffeenut

Welcome to SR. Glad you are here. Keep reading around the site. You'll find lots of people who are just like you, believe it or not.

Dee74

Welcome Count Fenring

I spent an immense amount of energy planning, and recovering from, my drinking too. It's nice to be able to put that energy to good use now

Good to have you with us

D

Murray4x5

I was like that. Then I started drinking on Mondays, because Tuesday is a light day at work. Then Wednesdays...then most Thursdays. When I started thinking that a couple shots at lunch would be a good idea, I knew that a few shots in the morning would be the next downward step after that, so I quit.

Glad you made it here before you went too far down that awful slope! Give yourself a pat on the back

Murray

Snarf

Welcome, and thanks for joining us! This site is full of lots of wonderful people with tons of experience and support to share. I'm here every day.

I think at the beginning of recovery, many of us wonder how we will get through the weekends, or special events like the Super Bowl, without drinking.

I tell you this: in the 10 months since I've had a drink, I've done nearly everything I used to do when I was drinking, and enjoyed it sooooo much more. I go to tons of Atlanta Braves games, went to 2 Falcons games (including the playoff thumping by Green Bay), I have season tickets to Georgia Tech football games, I work in a bar (not really recommended for alcoholics, but I'm good at what I do and it's good money while I learn to open my own restaurant), I've been out to eat countless times with my fiancee, played video games, watched movies...I do whatever I want to do, and I actually remember it and don't feel like crap the next day!

Of course, I've also started doing things I never did while drinking. Like learning to be a responsible adult, cleaning up after myself, being the best person I can be for my fiancee, helping others with their problems, being a good example and role model for people rather than a raging party animal, putting forth my very best effort for my employer, going to bed at a decent time, feeling hopeful and confident instead of ashamed and depressed...The list goes on.

There is life after alcohol. And in my experience, it beats the heck of the life I was previously living.

Kmber2010

Welcome Count and glad you are with us.

I found my life has improved in every area since I quit. My recovery has been work but the rewards have been endless. Not in the unicorn/rainbow kinda way.....just being able to finally live and be the person that I know myself to be.

Good things are on the horizon my friend. Keep it going!

CountFenring

No worries, that's exactly what is sounds like to me too, and that's why I'm here. My wife is my drinking buddy, and we have a great time most of the time. At least she's doing this with me, which helps immensely.

I'm happy to report that I'm on Day 8 being alcohol free. The weekend went well and I had no real strong urges to drink at all, though there were times when I would feel the drinking triggers, like when it was that 'time' to have a drink, right around 7:00pm or so, and Saturday night as it was our league bowling night. Again, not so bad, but that's a trigger too. I had three Sharp's, one for each game, then we drove home and watched a movie, then some HBO show.

I have to admit that we smoked some MJ after the HBO shows at around 11:00pm on Saturday night. I'm really not too worried about that as I was never really into it and always stopped drinking whatever alcohol I was drinking - usually beer - after I smoked. She usually would keep drinking afterward, but this time she had none. I much, MUCH prefer the taste of diet iced tea (of all things!) after I smoke. I think it's the sweetness. When I used to drink first, then smoke, my hangovers in the morning were never all that bad. It was probably all of the iced tea that I'd drink afterwards keeping me hydrated! The MJ has the side benefit of awesome sex afterwards, which was never one of alcohol's effects.

Another drinking trigger was on Sunday afternoon about 4:00, that's my drinking time. I would usually have stopped drinking on Sunday night around 8:00 so I could sleep half-way decently.

I re-read a diary that I'd kept most of last year as a Google Document - a blog just for myself. Anyway, the last entry on October 25 - a Monday - went into how depressed I was feeling that day. Thoughts of regret, unfinished business, and overall depression ran through all of the text I'd written. I don't know why that was my last entry, but maybe it was because I didn't want to keep posting and rehashing the same stuff. Most Mondays last year contained some sort of similar message in my diary - let's face it, Monday's suck - but the October 25 entry stands out in particular.

I only say that to compare it with how I felt this past Monday, Valentine’s Day. It was like a light was on in my head where there used to be only shadows. It was still Monday, but I didn't feel that usual malaise and regret over things past. Not my drinking past, but what I could have done differently and been the person that I always wanted to be.

Maybe now's my chance.

Thanks for all of your support!
Fenring

CarolD

Hmm...
did I miss something? Is Marijuana now legal and no longer
classified as a gateway drug?

I sure hope both of you find a way to enjoy life and eaach other
without drugs...legal or not .... they are a danger.

Dee74

I ruined my life as completely on marijuana as I did on alcohol, so I really don't recommend it Count.

I doubt you'll find much good press here on that, being a recovery site.

I found it very easy to jump from drug to drug when I wasn't doing anything about that underlying need to escape from reality.

D

VolcomStone51

All I can say that the Marijuana maintenance plan doesn't work, it really just delays the innevitable (atleast in my case). It may help for a bit but then I either ran back to my first love (alcohol) or when I quit that I got anxiety and then didn't want to quit smoking. I really just gad to Let GO........I'm sure you will determine what will work for you, good luck.

risckyr

I know when i quit drinking i had the sudden desire to smoke MJ. since i never ever liked the stuff it seemed odd that i craved it. I asked a good friend in recovery and he told me it is just the need to "escape" like i used to do with alcohol. He said it would just be replacing one for the other so i dont have to feel, or deal with life. Just the wisedom of an oldtimer i know.
I am glad you are not drinking. Hope you are going to meetings.