mesh12121

Tried to quit cold turkey by myself 2-4-11...i held out for about 10 hrs past when i normally drank....could not deal with the hallucinations/shaking...they were bad!!! So i drank.......for 3 days! Now i'm farther in the hole then i was before. So now i'm going through withdrawl from that...can't drink until 9 and i'm shaky/confused..i've been freaking all day...it like snapped back hard like i would never get a drink again so i'd just drink all of it....anyways i finally found a dual diagnosis center....nowhere near home...had an appt to get in today at 5 p.m. and they called me at about 11:00 a.m. to say they have no beds available and to call tomorrow...this sucks! I kinda don't feel that i deserve to be on here...i'm not in recovery...i'm seeking recovery...i hear all these stories about getting 3 days sober a week....a day...and it's not that i don't wish the best for everyone but it kinda annoys me...like why can't i do it?

Anna

You can do it, and of course, you're welcome here.

Most of us can't imagine how we can get and stay sober. I think the bottom line is, it's hard work, but it's so worth it.

I hope you have better luck with the rehab center tomorrow.

Dee74

I'm wishing you luck with the centre too.
SR is for anyone who is having problems and wants to quit - you fit in fine mesh

D

mesh12121

me too...thanks

Toronto68

Mesh, how did you get a hold of this place that didn't have any beds left? Do you know how to get in touch with another place that is within reach? Does the Salvation Army get people in touch with a facility? I'm not quite sure what a dual diagnosis center is, in other words whether it is the same as a detox clinic and where medical supervision would be. There are also links to resources here: SoberRecovery : Directory Drug Addiction, Alcoholism and Mental Health Service Providers

Don't worry about whether you "deserve" to be here, I hope you'll get what you need.

Toronto68

Now that I have already posted, I'm having an afterthought. I guess I was thinking if they have no beds today, that might've meant a longer wait; but I overlooked the part about calling back tomorrow.

mesh12121

It's like they had a bed until they ran my insurance...and then they didn't...my insurance is fine....it's kinda like they'ree dangling the carrot if ya know what i mean....i have one other criteria...no blood work they said no problem i can deny...if the same thing happens with that situation it will be the quickest turn around in treatment history...i'm in sales so i am skeptical of admissions being incentive based to get me through the door and not follow through with what they've said? It's laurelwood windsor in willoughby ohio if anyone has ever heard of it?

artsoul

I'm sorry things didn't work out for you, mesh. It definitely sounds like you need some medical help with detox. I hope you can find something in the next day or two...... some facilities reserve beds in a separate unit for detox only, and there's always the ER.

Please be safe.....

LexieCat

Artsoul's got a point there, mesh,

You can go to a regular detox (or ER/hospital) and get clear of the booze while you are waiting for a bed at the dual-diagnosis rehab. Once you get the alcohol out of your system completely, you can probably manage to stay sober for the few days until there's a bed at the rehab.

Just a thought...

reggiewayne

Hi Mesh. You do belong here. You appear to want to get better and in my book that's all you need. I would suggest seeing a professional (which it sounds like you're doing). You're doing the right thing. Just hang in there and keep us posted. Once you get out of treatment we'll all be here. Don't compare yourself to those who can make it 3 days or a week. There are some that are envious of you because you can make it 10 hours... It's all relative...

The fact is, nobody got here "on a roll". We all were in desperation mode when we arrived. You just need to get through the detox phase of this recovery process then move forward.

You can do it. God didn't take you this far just to dump you in the gutter. There's a plan for all of us - including you!

TenNinetySix

I am so sorry you are going through that. I remember those days so well & they were horrible. Of course you should be here. You shouldn't be anywhere else. I salute you for the ten hours!!! I couldn't make it past 3 until I was locked up & HAD to so I think you RAWK! ( :

You CAN do this. You really can.

Kmber2010

Mesh, you definitely belong here so don't beat yourself up. You have the desire and that is what counts and you are amongst a community of folks here who get it.

Good input from others and I too know what it feels like. I tried so many times but I finally got it. I know you can do this.

Don't give up and know we are here for you.