bimixer

Today was my first day in AA. I went to 2 meetings. The first was a Speaker meeting/discussion which was amazing. My experience was very moving. At the end I was approached by someone talking about being a sponsor and it all happened so fast I feel a bit confused. He gave me his number and suggested meeting up for coffee/calling anytime I want...

Im a bit shy and dont know what to do next. What am I supposed to do? I am so happy he reached out to me and I want this person to help me with my recovery but I dont know how to initiate this if you will...

The second meeting I went to was a beginner/big book study and I had a very different experience. It was almost incomprehensible and I left feeling confused and disconnected... I suppose meetings differ from one another...

I dont know what to do but keep attending these meetings and on my mind is this guy that approached me to help and I dont know how to extend my gratitude.

Dee74

Hi bimixer

I'm no AA expert but I think meeting up for coffee or calling anytime you want is a good start.

I really doubt anyone goes out of their way to make those gestures and then thinks 'god, I hope they don't call'

D

bimixer

Thank you for your response. As I read it I thought to myself 'obviously'

but theres that part of me that questions to myself if im worthy of his help... i just hate to bother anyone.
thanks.

ju

Missybuns

We go to meetings to get help. Next we accept the help available.

You are on the right track,
Missy

Dee74

It's a common thing - we poison ourselves for many years and convince ourselves we're not worthy of help.

I've never met anyone not worthy of help and hand up yet

D

bimixer

Thank you Missy.

artsoul

Helping newcomers actually helps an alcoholic's sobriety. And you ARE worth it. Just keep telling yourself that over and over.

When you meet for coffee, share your questions/confusions about the BigBookStudy. Don't worry - it takes time to feel at home amidst all the lingo.

Good for you for going! That's awesome!

yeahgr8

You will be helping this guy by calling as much as you will be helping yourself!

Once you get sober and have something to give away it is a real good thing to help the new you that has just turned up to the meetings confused and a bit unsure...we all turned up that way:-)

Meet him and see how it goes, you aren't committing to anything but a coffee...you might gel together and you might not, keep an open mind and see what happens...i get the shy bit, i think you have already identified it is more than being just shy...we don't generally come into AA with a high self worth or self esteem which IMO is fair enough as we have hardly re-enforce to ourselves over the years a high value of self!!!

Make the call and go for coffee...scary stuff;-)

cabledude

Nice experience Bimixer, to go to AA for help and receive it so quickly. I should say the offer of help.

Not sure why new people almost never call. I know they all say they feel odd about bothering someone who might be busy. But even so I give my number out.

Personally, I've always thought it was selfish pride and fear that usually prevented them from asking directly for help. It took me a couple of months to get that down far enough to open a tiny window where I could ask a guy to sponsor me.

keithj

This guy might be one those gems in AA. Saw a new guy, recognized the fear in your eyes, and offered help. Call him up today and ask him how he recovered. His answer should indicate if he knows how to lead someone through the Steps so they can recover as well.

ronf

Mornin Bimixer, Glad your here!! The whole premise of AA came from the realization of it's founder that he had an easier time staying sober when he was helping others to do the same. Even though this forum has no connection to AA we do the same thing here. Whether you realize it or not, by going to those meetings and posting on here your already helping others to stay sober. Please meet with the gentleman that offered his help. You are not obligated in any way to be his sponsee, just see what he has to say and decide how comfortable you are with this person.

All the best, Ron

Zube

Bimixer- consider it a blessing. I waited 80 days before getting a sponsor, and was turned away 3 times either by people in the program who did not have enough sobriety time to take on a sponsee, or by somebody with 24 years of sobriety who had just taken on a sponsee and did not have the time for another. I finally found the right person, and it felt like the weight of the world was lifted.

Go get coffee and listen. And talk. It can't hurt a bit. Even if that person is not your sponsor, at least you'll know that you have an ally to call on for questions and help early on in AA.

Good luck to you!

Zube

Mark75

Sure you were confused!

The first meeting you were able to identify. That's awesome! The speaker's experience resonated with your own... That is why these meetings can be so powerful. In the BB study meeting the solution was discussed... You don't have experience yet that you can identify with... Yet!

Go to coffee with this generous individual so you can begin to experience the solution. Your confusion will begin to clear!

Thanx for sharing!! Let us know how it goes!

aasharon90

What's so awesome about
recovery is that we don't
have to get it all at one
time and is an on going
process just like for me
even with 20 yrs. sobriety.

I like the option of moving
at my own speed and not
having anyone force a program
of recovery down my throat.

I heard many times to take
what you need or what
you hear in meetings, even
if it is one little tid bit and
just think about it during
the day.

As I kept going, listening,
absorbing each time it
began to stick and eventually
became clear or understand-
able.

No hurry no rush.

Some of us are slooooow
learners and it may take
awhile to "get it" so to
speak, and that is ok.

This is my program fit
to my life, solid with the
AA principles to guide and
protect me from the dangers
of cunning baffling and
powerful temptaions out
there in the world.

Begin with ur first step
building a solid foundation
to live upon each day
and learn what it is to
be happy joyous and free
in recovery.

Glad u r here.

1_day@_a_time

call & you will get your answer.

listen carefully to what he has to say as suggested.......

after a few calls, you will have a better idea.

not a bad idea to find a few more to speak with, then you will have a better comparison and an idea how to proceed.