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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 3
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I am trying not to go out to buy white wine that has run out last night. I will have to go to certain supermarket where the wine I love is. For an alcoholic I am fussy - which is weird.
I do not need to go out for any groceries but I can always find a reason to go out - for the wine.
I know if it is not in the fridge by tonight I will be in a foul mood with the family.
If I have red wine - I will sip it and most likely leave it as I particularly hate it. Have been known to have red wine in a glass for days in a fridge - then I finally throw it away.
I drink nothing but white wine and when I start at exactly 5pm (on the dot) - I can't stop until at least a bottle or two. I don't always remember what I have watched or how the evening went.
I am torn in wanting to stop - but knowing that the anger of not having the wine in tongiht will make for a nasty evening. My husband buys me as much wine as i want - adn i buy more - probably to stop my nastiness if it is not there.
I am 52, scared and AA is not an option, for cultural reasons. I have drunk for years.
Can anyone give some advise.
I do not need to go out for any groceries but I can always find a reason to go out - for the wine.
I know if it is not in the fridge by tonight I will be in a foul mood with the family.
If I have red wine - I will sip it and most likely leave it as I particularly hate it. Have been known to have red wine in a glass for days in a fridge - then I finally throw it away.
I drink nothing but white wine and when I start at exactly 5pm (on the dot) - I can't stop until at least a bottle or two. I don't always remember what I have watched or how the evening went.
I am torn in wanting to stop - but knowing that the anger of not having the wine in tongiht will make for a nasty evening. My husband buys me as much wine as i want - adn i buy more - probably to stop my nastiness if it is not there.
I am 52, scared and AA is not an option, for cultural reasons. I have drunk for years.
Can anyone give some advise.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,391
Hi Ldemi
I remember using my crankiness as an excuse too - I remember loudly declaring I'd rather be the drunk happy guy than the miserable angry teetotaller....better for me and better for everyone else....
The grumpiness doesn't last.
And whats a few days to the rest of your life?
I'm not sure what the cultural reasons are regarding AA but there's a lot of us who are not AA members.
I do encourage you to at least use SR tho.
If you do decide to stop drinking, you'll find incredible support and a lot of ideas here.
Welcome
D
I remember using my crankiness as an excuse too - I remember loudly declaring I'd rather be the drunk happy guy than the miserable angry teetotaller....better for me and better for everyone else....
The grumpiness doesn't last.
And whats a few days to the rest of your life?
I'm not sure what the cultural reasons are regarding AA but there's a lot of us who are not AA members.
I do encourage you to at least use SR tho.
If you do decide to stop drinking, you'll find incredible support and a lot of ideas here.
Welcome
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Italy
Posts: 287
Hi Ldemi3. Welcome to SR.
I am around your age and I used to drink a LOT of white wine (up to 2 litres a day) as well as vodka inbetween sometimes when the wine wasn't working sufficiently on its own. Here are a couple of things.
1) The anger is there because people who drink large amounts of alcohol are unable to produce sufficient quantities of stress hormones (the stuff which helps normal people control their anger)
2) When you drink large amounts of alcohol, your body needs to produce insulin so that the sugar can be absorbed. Only because there was so much sugar in the alcohol, your body produces way too much insulin. So, once you have absorbed the alcohol, your blood sugar level drops too low = you have a bad craving for more alcohol
Sorry if this is stating the obvious, but neither of these 2 situations is going away while you continue to "provide the satisfaction" that your body is craving. The good news is that this cycle can be broken rather quickly (say 3 or 4 weeks and your world will be a totally different place altogether). But noone is denying that it is quite hard to do. For me, I had to clear the house of alcohol completely and keep it that way. I avoided going to bars or even friends houses for dinner for at least a month. I have not used AA myself and you will find lots of people around here on SR who are successful without AA. I recommend that you ask your husband to refrain from buying any wine while you get this thing under control. You will be surprised at how much support you will get from the people around you.
PS drinks which contain large amounts of refined sugar have a very similar "satisfying" effect on the brain as does alcohol. Also caffeine. During the first 2 or 3 weeks, I used huge amounts of Coke and Coffee every time I had a craving. They work really well if you use them in the short term.
Good luck
NAT
I am around your age and I used to drink a LOT of white wine (up to 2 litres a day) as well as vodka inbetween sometimes when the wine wasn't working sufficiently on its own. Here are a couple of things.
1) The anger is there because people who drink large amounts of alcohol are unable to produce sufficient quantities of stress hormones (the stuff which helps normal people control their anger)
2) When you drink large amounts of alcohol, your body needs to produce insulin so that the sugar can be absorbed. Only because there was so much sugar in the alcohol, your body produces way too much insulin. So, once you have absorbed the alcohol, your blood sugar level drops too low = you have a bad craving for more alcohol
Sorry if this is stating the obvious, but neither of these 2 situations is going away while you continue to "provide the satisfaction" that your body is craving. The good news is that this cycle can be broken rather quickly (say 3 or 4 weeks and your world will be a totally different place altogether). But noone is denying that it is quite hard to do. For me, I had to clear the house of alcohol completely and keep it that way. I avoided going to bars or even friends houses for dinner for at least a month. I have not used AA myself and you will find lots of people around here on SR who are successful without AA. I recommend that you ask your husband to refrain from buying any wine while you get this thing under control. You will be surprised at how much support you will get from the people around you.
PS drinks which contain large amounts of refined sugar have a very similar "satisfying" effect on the brain as does alcohol. Also caffeine. During the first 2 or 3 weeks, I used huge amounts of Coke and Coffee every time I had a craving. They work really well if you use them in the short term.
Good luck
NAT
Not waving, but drowning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 423
Hi Ldemi3,
My profile was similar to yours. Fairly fussy about what I drank. Only liked chardonnay and nice champagne. Could leave the red wine, wouldn't drink gin. But I am still an alcoholic. It took me a while to understand that because I didn't want certain types of alcohol...yet...I was still moving down a path (if you read at SR) where I was bound to both expand my range and up my intake.
I would urge you not to focus too much on the fact that you don't like all types of alcohol, and focus on the problems that alcohol is causing you.
Once you stop drinking for a week or two you'll find that your mood gets better. The first weeks, for me at least, were an obstacle I had to get over before I could enjoy the way I felt while not drinking. If I paid too much attention to how I felt on day 2, 3, 4 or 5 I would have gone back to drinking to "feel better". But that is a trap. Get some support to get you through those days. Don't keep wine in the house. Anticipate that you will feel bad, but don't use that as an excuse to drink.
As for AA, you may not want to go for whatever reason, but some of their literature may be helpful to you in seeing how others have managed to stop drinking and stay sober.
Good luck, and keep posting!
D
My profile was similar to yours. Fairly fussy about what I drank. Only liked chardonnay and nice champagne. Could leave the red wine, wouldn't drink gin. But I am still an alcoholic. It took me a while to understand that because I didn't want certain types of alcohol...yet...I was still moving down a path (if you read at SR) where I was bound to both expand my range and up my intake.
I would urge you not to focus too much on the fact that you don't like all types of alcohol, and focus on the problems that alcohol is causing you.
Once you stop drinking for a week or two you'll find that your mood gets better. The first weeks, for me at least, were an obstacle I had to get over before I could enjoy the way I felt while not drinking. If I paid too much attention to how I felt on day 2, 3, 4 or 5 I would have gone back to drinking to "feel better". But that is a trap. Get some support to get you through those days. Don't keep wine in the house. Anticipate that you will feel bad, but don't use that as an excuse to drink.
As for AA, you may not want to go for whatever reason, but some of their literature may be helpful to you in seeing how others have managed to stop drinking and stay sober.
Good luck, and keep posting!
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Hi Ldemi welcome to SR. I was rather a fussy drunk too, I only drank certain types of red wine no 'hard liquor' or beer (stomach just couldn't handle them) and on special occassions I'd drink certain brands of chardonay (white wine made me crazy very quickly). When I first stopped drinking I substituted chocolate for the booze and that eased my b*tchyness a lot, yes I gained some weight but it was a whole lot better than killing myself with the alcohol. I'm not an AA person either, meetings weren't for me, but the premiss of AA became a blueprint for my life, I read everything I could find and practised my own modified version of the 12 steps and it turned me into a new person a much more loving and lovable person. I hope you find your way.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome to the forum!
Anxiety and irritability are a part of the vicious cycle of alcoholism. They are just a couple of the many symptoms of withdrawal. It sounds like you're drinking daily, and having black outs as well (correct me if I'm wrong). You're body is most likely dependent on that drink......You may need medical help to detox.
The thing with alcoholism is that is only gets worse, and if you don't stop, irritability will be the least of your problems. I hope you keep reading and posting - you'll learn a lot, and get lots of support from people who understand.
We're here for you!
Anxiety and irritability are a part of the vicious cycle of alcoholism. They are just a couple of the many symptoms of withdrawal. It sounds like you're drinking daily, and having black outs as well (correct me if I'm wrong). You're body is most likely dependent on that drink......You may need medical help to detox.
The thing with alcoholism is that is only gets worse, and if you don't stop, irritability will be the least of your problems. I hope you keep reading and posting - you'll learn a lot, and get lots of support from people who understand.
We're here for you!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
I've been there. The whole day serving as nothing more than a prelude to that first drink. Of course the first drink was never satisfying. None of them really were, not even the last one before passing out. Wow, I'm glad to be off that treadmill.
A few days or weeks or even months of crabbiness vs. spending the rest of your life living an alcoholic version of groundhog day. It seems like an obvious choice to me now, but didn't for a long time.
Welcome to SR. This site has been a huge help in opening my eyes and helping me quit—something I had begun to doubt I could do. You can do it too if you really want it.
A few days or weeks or even months of crabbiness vs. spending the rest of your life living an alcoholic version of groundhog day. It seems like an obvious choice to me now, but didn't for a long time.
Welcome to SR. This site has been a huge help in opening my eyes and helping me quit—something I had begun to doubt I could do. You can do it too if you really want it.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Welcome Ldemi3, and thanks for joining us! This site is a tremendous resource for me, so full of many people with tons of experience and support to share with us. I found SR.com on the day I knew I could no longer have a casual relationship with alcohol. Been here & alcohol-free ever since.
Just want to let you know that AA is here for all of us. There are people in my AA meetings from every different culture, religion, and general background imaginable. AA can work for anyone who chooses to work it.
Just want to let you know that AA is here for all of us. There are people in my AA meetings from every different culture, religion, and general background imaginable. AA can work for anyone who chooses to work it.
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