My first week in recovery
My first week in recovery
Hi everyone. This is my very first post. I am very encouraged by all of your comments. I've been clean and sober for 3 days now. I went to my first meeting yesterday. I realied that I had to go because I have not been able to stop drinking red wine for more than 2-3 days. It has almost cost me my marriage. The tipping point was that my son was actually covering for my drinking with my wife. He was lying to her so that we would not fight.
I am a christian and a church goer. This is not the life that I want. I am tired of lying and sneaking around. Its just too much energy, guilt, shame, and money. It all consuming: where to get the wine, where to get the money, where to hide it, where to hide and drink it, where to put the empties, always needing mints on me to hide my breath, worried about getting stopped by the cops, worried about killing somebody and gong to jail, etc. I hope AA helps me stop this madness.
__________________
"Honesty is the first chapter in the book of Wisdom" - Thomas Jefferson
I am a christian and a church goer. This is not the life that I want. I am tired of lying and sneaking around. Its just too much energy, guilt, shame, and money. It all consuming: where to get the wine, where to get the money, where to hide it, where to hide and drink it, where to put the empties, always needing mints on me to hide my breath, worried about getting stopped by the cops, worried about killing somebody and gong to jail, etc. I hope AA helps me stop this madness.
__________________
"Honesty is the first chapter in the book of Wisdom" - Thomas Jefferson
Welcome TOL - glad you're addressing your problem. It really is a consuming thing, isn't it? I can relate to the sneaking and hiding and worrying about who will see me, smell my breath, notice me bringing things into the house, find the stash, ...... it was like being in a spy drama (the adrenaline rush of it all). What's so ironic was that I spent most of the time trying to appear totally sober.
Congrats on 3 days - keep going one day at a time and hang out with us - it's so important to have ongoing support.
Congrats on 3 days - keep going one day at a time and hang out with us - it's so important to have ongoing support.
Hi and welcome TOR
congratulations on 3 days sober
Hiding, sneaking, and lying wastes sooo much time and you're not really fooling any body (at least in my case) and the "yets" just waiting to happen.
Look forward to reading updates on your journey to recovery, glad you found AA and this site is a fantastic recovery tool also.
Though no-one can go back and make a new start,
anyone can start from now and make a new ending.
Carl Bard.
congratulations on 3 days sober
Hiding, sneaking, and lying wastes sooo much time and you're not really fooling any body (at least in my case) and the "yets" just waiting to happen.
Look forward to reading updates on your journey to recovery, glad you found AA and this site is a fantastic recovery tool also.
Though no-one can go back and make a new start,
anyone can start from now and make a new ending.
Carl Bard.
Welcome TOL!! It is amazing to look back at all the time we spent planning the next drink..disposing of the empties..first you sneak it in..then you sneak it out...it is just a weight lifted off you shoulders when you finally quit for good. No more worry. And forget the moderation theory. Hope to hear from you more!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Welcome to SR! I can absolutely relate to what you guys are saying—it was so exhausting to drink and try to hold together the rest of my world. Wow, it's a relief to give up that battle along with the bottle.
Welcome aboard, ToL!
Welcome aboard, ToL!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 9
Welcome, TOL! I've just joined the forum as well (lurked for a while but just got the guts to post yesterday!). There are tons of really friendly supportive people here! I hope you are able to use this forum as one of your tools to recover, look forward to good updates!
Hi Everyone:
Thank you for all the encouragement. You guys ROCK!
I'm 6 days sober now and have attended two meetings. I have had minor cravings but have resisted. I have made changes in my life to help me stop drinking. They are:
-Keeping a separate calendar and writing V for victory for each sober day. It's fun to see them fill up
-Not driving alone. I take one of my boys anytime I go somewhere. It keeps me accountable with my wife and kids. She doesn't have to worry about me hitting a bar or liquer store when I have one of them.
-I show my wife the money in my wallet each morning and night.
-Am seeing an addiction counselor once a week to try to understand this thing better
-Am attending my church men's fellowship meetings once a week - building positive relationships
-I start the morning with a Bible verse about relying on God. I write it on an index card and carry it around. I check it several times a day
Talk to you later.
Thank you for all the encouragement. You guys ROCK!
I'm 6 days sober now and have attended two meetings. I have had minor cravings but have resisted. I have made changes in my life to help me stop drinking. They are:
-Keeping a separate calendar and writing V for victory for each sober day. It's fun to see them fill up
-Not driving alone. I take one of my boys anytime I go somewhere. It keeps me accountable with my wife and kids. She doesn't have to worry about me hitting a bar or liquer store when I have one of them.
-I show my wife the money in my wallet each morning and night.
-Am seeing an addiction counselor once a week to try to understand this thing better
-Am attending my church men's fellowship meetings once a week - building positive relationships
-I start the morning with a Bible verse about relying on God. I write it on an index card and carry it around. I check it several times a day
Talk to you later.
Hi Everybody. I want to report that I now have 15 days sober!!! What a great feeling. I have a calendar and mark "V" for victory each night. Its nice to see them piling up.
I've been to 5 meetings and find them very helpful. Its very humbling to sit there and I think that's the point. By continually going to AA, I can't get too proud. It reminds me who I am and the weakness that I have. Sitting there reminds me to rely on God and others. Very powerful.
This is such a better way to live. Honest relationships, more money, less guilt, less shame, better self esteem, better relationship with God, better father, better husband, better frien ,look better, feel better, smell better, more energy, and on and on it goes. I thank God for this path that I'm on. It's up to me to keep it going.
Bless you all.
I've been to 5 meetings and find them very helpful. Its very humbling to sit there and I think that's the point. By continually going to AA, I can't get too proud. It reminds me who I am and the weakness that I have. Sitting there reminds me to rely on God and others. Very powerful.
This is such a better way to live. Honest relationships, more money, less guilt, less shame, better self esteem, better relationship with God, better father, better husband, better frien ,look better, feel better, smell better, more energy, and on and on it goes. I thank God for this path that I'm on. It's up to me to keep it going.
Bless you all.
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