trouble having fun
 

I ended up relapsing last night. I didn't do anything crazy or blackout, so i'm not feeling too horrible about it, but I feel like I can't go out and be a normal 22 year old unless I drink. I have gotten a lot better,I don't drink alone anymore or anything like that. It is only when I go out I have this problem. I feel like I can't relax and let loose unless I'm drinking. I hate knowing that I can't enjoy things without being messed up on something. Does anyone else have this problem...just feeling like you have all of these walls that you can't get past unless you are drinking?? It is really bothering me, and I don't know how to fix it.

I had that problem - right up until I was 40, wolf.

I don;t know what it's like for you...it's a long time since I was 22...but
I figured out most of those years I really didn't want to quit, I just wanted to control my drinking.

When I wasn't drinking I felt resentful - and I'd do basically the same things as I did when I was drinking, & hang around the same folks (who naturally drank a lot too)....then use the fact it was 'boring' and uncomfortable to prove to myself that not drinking was 'impossible' for me.

When eventually the chips were down drinkingwise and I had to change my life...I really changed my life. I think that's key.

It may sound like a cliche, but it's been true for me - your life is what you make it, Wolf.

D

Recovery for me meant change.

People.........Places........and things.


Recovery wasn't about not drinking anymore it was about learning how to live sober. So I had to change it all! The people I hang with don't drink....the places I go alcohol isn't the main attraction....and so on.

life-style needs to change

Hey wolf...

Yeah I think most of us have felt like that. I wanted alcohol to let loose, be funny and enjoy myself. Even when I was home alone. To do things around the house, and just go outside and play with the dogs. Wanted to drink. I thought I'd never be able to enjoy things sober.

It just takes time. I wouldn't want to go back to that. I enjoy life more now then when I needed that crutch.

Give it time. You can get there.

A lot of us would love it if we could have a few and relax. Some of us can't. I can't, and I'm guessin you can't. Those few will turn into a lot, everyday, and we'll be right back there.

Fair or not, we're not like other people.