New here, I have a drinking problem.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 17
New here, I have a drinking problem.
Well, I finally come to the conclusion that I have to stop drinking. It has caused problems in my life, and I am ashamed of myself.
I live in a rural area, and there is no AA near me. So thats really not an easy option.
The thing is, I work offshore for 28 days on and 28 days off. At work, I dont crave beer, or have any problems. But, when I am home , I drink beer most every day. Usually 8 to 12 beers a day, sometimes more.
I have gotten drunk too many times, and said things to people that I would not normally say.
I cant just drink one beer, I always drink at least a 6 pack.
I came across this website, and am hoping to get some help through this forum. It is so hard for me to admit that I am an alcoholic.
I have not had a beer in 19 days, as I am at work offshore, and i want to quit for good. Its so easy to say out here, but will be very difficult for me when I get home.
Can anybody relate to this and please offer me any helpful advice? Thanks, Sleven.
I live in a rural area, and there is no AA near me. So thats really not an easy option.
The thing is, I work offshore for 28 days on and 28 days off. At work, I dont crave beer, or have any problems. But, when I am home , I drink beer most every day. Usually 8 to 12 beers a day, sometimes more.
I have gotten drunk too many times, and said things to people that I would not normally say.
I cant just drink one beer, I always drink at least a 6 pack.
I came across this website, and am hoping to get some help through this forum. It is so hard for me to admit that I am an alcoholic.
I have not had a beer in 19 days, as I am at work offshore, and i want to quit for good. Its so easy to say out here, but will be very difficult for me when I get home.
Can anybody relate to this and please offer me any helpful advice? Thanks, Sleven.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Sleven (and "hey" from a fellow MSian!) Glad you're here -I'm sure it's hard when you're home from offshore (like a license to party, which most people don't have since they work M-F).
It's hard to stop on your own without some kind of support - so even if you have to drive a little further to get to an AA meeting, it might make a big difference for you. I use this forum (though I spent years in AA rooms in the past) - I come here every day, so that I don't forget that sobriety is my first and foremost priority. It's that serious because it eventually will take us down in one way or another.
Keep reading and posting - lots of people here have turned their lives around.
It's hard to stop on your own without some kind of support - so even if you have to drive a little further to get to an AA meeting, it might make a big difference for you. I use this forum (though I spent years in AA rooms in the past) - I come here every day, so that I don't forget that sobriety is my first and foremost priority. It's that serious because it eventually will take us down in one way or another.
Keep reading and posting - lots of people here have turned their lives around.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Yes I can relate. Check out this link. If you can't go to AA, you can at least get the message here. Check out the Joe and Charlie tapes...
Downloads & mp3's from silkworth.net
Best of luck to you!
Downloads & mp3's from silkworth.net
Best of luck to you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
Sleven-- welcome. It was hard for all of us to admit we were alcoholics-- you are taking action, and that's terrific.
Sounds like you've got a tough schedule. Are there meetings where you work offshore? Not sure if it's a rig, where there might be other alcoholics. Probably tough at this point to even consider looking into that, but just food for thought.
Alcoholism is a crafty disease. I used to give up alcohol for Lent (successfully) and thought that meant I wasn't an alcoholic. But I'd drink uncontrollably once I started up again. So we're capable of being separated from alcohol and surviving-- so long as we know we're going to get it back at some point. That's the mental obsession that is such an underestimated part of the disease.
There are always obstacles to sobriety-- jobs, location, families, etc. And usually, we don't recognize that these obstacles cannot stand in the way of our recovery-- we try to work around them, make our sobriety conditional, and ultimately, it gets worse.
There are people who would tell you that if you're an alcoholic, you have to build your life around your sobriety. They might tell you to move closer to meetings-- cause otherwise you aren't going to survive. Easy to say, much harder to do, right?
But these are the sorts of decisions that we wind up making-- sometimes we have the grace to see where things are headed, and make them ahead of time; more often, we need to have our noses rubbed in brutal consequences before we see the light.
The first thing I would do when I got back to shore, if I were you, is go to an AA meeting. Just find one (we can help you find one). Talk to them about your situation. But start to solve the problem of your location before you get home, not once you get there.
Sounds like you've got a tough schedule. Are there meetings where you work offshore? Not sure if it's a rig, where there might be other alcoholics. Probably tough at this point to even consider looking into that, but just food for thought.
Alcoholism is a crafty disease. I used to give up alcohol for Lent (successfully) and thought that meant I wasn't an alcoholic. But I'd drink uncontrollably once I started up again. So we're capable of being separated from alcohol and surviving-- so long as we know we're going to get it back at some point. That's the mental obsession that is such an underestimated part of the disease.
There are always obstacles to sobriety-- jobs, location, families, etc. And usually, we don't recognize that these obstacles cannot stand in the way of our recovery-- we try to work around them, make our sobriety conditional, and ultimately, it gets worse.
There are people who would tell you that if you're an alcoholic, you have to build your life around your sobriety. They might tell you to move closer to meetings-- cause otherwise you aren't going to survive. Easy to say, much harder to do, right?
But these are the sorts of decisions that we wind up making-- sometimes we have the grace to see where things are headed, and make them ahead of time; more often, we need to have our noses rubbed in brutal consequences before we see the light.
The first thing I would do when I got back to shore, if I were you, is go to an AA meeting. Just find one (we can help you find one). Talk to them about your situation. But start to solve the problem of your location before you get home, not once you get there.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Sleven
If your home base is causing you problems - maybe you need some kind of support network to balance that out?
When you get home - try not drinking a day at a time....then the next day....and the next...
the level of difficulty you have with that should make it clearer whether you need face to face support or not.
As far as face to face support goes...I think AA is pretty much everywhere - you may have to drive a little in a rural area, but I think that'd be a better use of your time than those 8-12 beers.
And we're here 24/7
Welcome
D
If your home base is causing you problems - maybe you need some kind of support network to balance that out?
When you get home - try not drinking a day at a time....then the next day....and the next...
the level of difficulty you have with that should make it clearer whether you need face to face support or not.
As far as face to face support goes...I think AA is pretty much everywhere - you may have to drive a little in a rural area, but I think that'd be a better use of your time than those 8-12 beers.
And we're here 24/7
Welcome
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by Sleven 
Well, I finally come to the conclusion that I have to stop drinking. It has caused problems in my life, and I am ashamed of myself.
I live in a rural area, and there is no AA near me. So thats really not an easy option.
The thing is, I work offshore for 28 days on and 28 days off. At work, I dont crave beer, or have any problems. But, when I am home , I drink beer most every day. Usually 8 to 12 beers a day, sometimes more.
I have gotten drunk too many times, and said things to people that I would not normally say.
I cant just drink one beer, I always drink at least a 6 pack.
I came across this website, and am hoping to get some help through this forum. It is so hard for me to admit that I am an alcoholic.
I have not had a beer in 19 days, as I am at work offshore, and i want to quit for good. Its so easy to say out here, but will be very difficult for me when I get home.
Can anybody relate to this and please offer me any helpful advice? Thanks, Sleven.
I live in a rural area, and there is no AA near me. So thats really not an easy option.
The thing is, I work offshore for 28 days on and 28 days off. At work, I dont crave beer, or have any problems. But, when I am home , I drink beer most every day. Usually 8 to 12 beers a day, sometimes more.
I have gotten drunk too many times, and said things to people that I would not normally say.
I cant just drink one beer, I always drink at least a 6 pack.
I came across this website, and am hoping to get some help through this forum. It is so hard for me to admit that I am an alcoholic.
I have not had a beer in 19 days, as I am at work offshore, and i want to quit for good. Its so easy to say out here, but will be very difficult for me when I get home.
Can anybody relate to this and please offer me any helpful advice? Thanks, Sleven.
TO THE FAMILY
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
The first thing I would do is make sure there is no alcohol is the house....stock your frig with pop instead.
Second I would try to find something to do...sounds like your drinking out of bore-dum. Start a hobby or project to fill idle time......if you don't have AA where you are maybe it's time to start one....maybe there are others feeling the same as you? "just a thought"
Second I would try to find something to do...sounds like your drinking out of bore-dum. Start a hobby or project to fill idle time......if you don't have AA where you are maybe it's time to start one....maybe there are others feeling the same as you? "just a thought"
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 2,464
Welcome
Originally Posted by Sleven
Well, I finally come to the conclusion that I have to stop drinking. It has caused problems in my life, and I am ashamed of myself.I live in a rural area, and there is no AA near me. So thats really not an easy option.
The thing is, I work offshore for 28 days on and 28 days off. At work, I dont crave beer, or have any problems. But, when I am home , I drink beer most every day. Usually 8 to 12 beers a day, sometimes more.
I have gotten drunk too many times, and said things to people that I would not normally say.
I cant just drink one beer, I always drink at least a 6 pack.
The thing is, I work offshore for 28 days on and 28 days off. At work, I dont crave beer, or have any problems. But, when I am home , I drink beer most every day. Usually 8 to 12 beers a day, sometimes more.
I have gotten drunk too many times, and said things to people that I would not normally say.
I cant just drink one beer, I always drink at least a 6 pack.
Spawn has an excellent idea.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 91
G'day Sleven,
I am in a very similar position to you. I work 21/21 day tours. I had exactly the same thing going on, I would go on break and just go on a bender for 21 days, say and do things I regretted, destroy relationships, spend too much money etc etc. Finally on one break about five days before it finished I had had enough, I had destoyed yet another relationship and just couldn't continue. By the grace of God I found this website (didn't register for another 45 days though) and just read. I don't use AA, just this site and am coming up for 8 months now. Life has changed beyong recognition for me and it can for you too. The important thing is to try and get through your first break without a drink. If you do not have AA just try and spend as much time here as you can initially, whatever it takes to get through that first 28 day break. If I can do it anyone can, I really thought I was a hopeless case. Look forward to reading more of your posts mate, you have an amazing adventure ahead of you.
Shoei.
I am in a very similar position to you. I work 21/21 day tours. I had exactly the same thing going on, I would go on break and just go on a bender for 21 days, say and do things I regretted, destroy relationships, spend too much money etc etc. Finally on one break about five days before it finished I had had enough, I had destoyed yet another relationship and just couldn't continue. By the grace of God I found this website (didn't register for another 45 days though) and just read. I don't use AA, just this site and am coming up for 8 months now. Life has changed beyong recognition for me and it can for you too. The important thing is to try and get through your first break without a drink. If you do not have AA just try and spend as much time here as you can initially, whatever it takes to get through that first 28 day break. If I can do it anyone can, I really thought I was a hopeless case. Look forward to reading more of your posts mate, you have an amazing adventure ahead of you.
Shoei.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Hi Sleven and Welcome,
It sounds like making some changes at home would really help. I found that changing my daily routine really helped me in the early days.
SR is always open for business, so you can always come here to find support.
It sounds like making some changes at home would really help. I found that changing my daily routine really helped me in the early days.
SR is always open for business, so you can always come here to find support.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
Originally Posted by Sleven
If I can find a meeting to attend, what should I expect? I know I will be nervous about speaking in front of people.
Are there any certain requirements of me at the meetings?
Are there any certain requirements of me at the meetings?
You will not be asked to speak in front of people. You only have to attend, get there a little early, and someone will reach out to you to help you. No one will ask you to make a speech, or do anything, other than listen and have a cup of coffee. They will want to help. If for some reason no one reaches out to you, you may need to introduce yourself to someone and just say, "I'm new." They will take it from there.
Not waving, but drowning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 423
Hi,
Someone on SR has posted an excellent link to something called: "what to expect at your first AA meeting"---I'm not sure where though. Perhaps you can type into search? I found it very helpful and demystified a lot of the AA jargon.
My personal experience is to just take a leap of faith and try it. They are all different, so keep an open mind.
Welcome!
Someone on SR has posted an excellent link to something called: "what to expect at your first AA meeting"---I'm not sure where though. Perhaps you can type into search? I found it very helpful and demystified a lot of the AA jargon.
My personal experience is to just take a leap of faith and try it. They are all different, so keep an open mind.
Welcome!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Welcome to SR! You've already received some great advice, so I just want to say, yes, I can definitely relate. I was drinking far too much for far too long. I wasn't sure I could stop. I'm grateful every morning and every night that I kept trying. Glad you're here!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 17
Random thoughts...
I also hope that becoming sober, will let me not get as agitated over little things all the time. I mean sometimes I get really grouchy for no real reason... I think back and wonder how my family has put up with this.
I have not told my wife that I am gonna quit drinking, because if I were to fail, I think it would make me look even worse.
Also wanted to mention that my 9 year old son asked me one day recently, "daddy, why do you drink beer? "..... I didnt know how to answer that question for him,,,,,, that there made me so very ,very ashamed of myself.
I also hope that becoming sober, will let me not get as agitated over little things all the time. I mean sometimes I get really grouchy for no real reason... I think back and wonder how my family has put up with this.
I have not told my wife that I am gonna quit drinking, because if I were to fail, I think it would make me look even worse.
Also wanted to mention that my 9 year old son asked me one day recently, "daddy, why do you drink beer? "..... I didnt know how to answer that question for him,,,,,, that there made me so very ,very ashamed of myself.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
Originally Posted by Sleven
Random thoughts...
I also hope that becoming sober, will let me not get as agitated over little things all the time. I mean sometimes I get really grouchy for no real reason... I think back and wonder how my family has put up with this.
I have not told my wife that I am gonna quit drinking, because if I were to fail, I think it would make me look even worse.
Also wanted to mention that my 9 year old son asked me one day recently, "daddy, why do you drink beer? "..... I didnt know how to answer that question for him,,,,,, that there made me so very ,very ashamed of myself.
I also hope that becoming sober, will let me not get as agitated over little things all the time. I mean sometimes I get really grouchy for no real reason... I think back and wonder how my family has put up with this.
I have not told my wife that I am gonna quit drinking, because if I were to fail, I think it would make me look even worse.
Also wanted to mention that my 9 year old son asked me one day recently, "daddy, why do you drink beer? "..... I didnt know how to answer that question for him,,,,,, that there made me so very ,very ashamed of myself.
Abstinence means avoiding alcohol, and often times we remain irritable. Recovery means dealing with that underlying condition so that we can live in the moment, free, and generally at peace. It takes work, but it works.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Welcome to SR Sleven,
My work schedule makes it tough to access most meetings in my area, but I do find the F2F experience in recovery invaluable. Reading and posting here at SR has been a real life saver for me the past 10+ months.
I am fortunate to have wireless access for my laptop at work (late nights)
Do you have access when you're out on the job ?
Get ready for an incredible journey, ......learning to live sober for "abnormal drinkers" rocks !!
My work schedule makes it tough to access most meetings in my area, but I do find the F2F experience in recovery invaluable. Reading and posting here at SR has been a real life saver for me the past 10+ months.
I am fortunate to have wireless access for my laptop at work (late nights)
Do you have access when you're out on the job ?
Get ready for an incredible journey, ......learning to live sober for "abnormal drinkers" rocks !!
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