Inafishbowl

Sleven, I don't have a whole lot of wisdom to add, but I feel like we may be similar. My schedule isn't exactly like yours. But I do work from home most of the time when I'm not on photo shoots for clients. When I had to be out and about I never drank the night before. But I did make little plans in my head of nights I could drink. When I did, I started with some wine and then waited until my family went to bed. I That is when I would open my second bottle. 'd binge until 4 in the morning and then get up at 7 for my day. I was always at home hiding it and thought I was doing fine, although there was a guilt and shame on my conscience. I have a 9 year old too and she would mention the empty bottles and once in a while say she didn't like me as much when I was drinking wine.
Anyway, I had a rude awakening a few weeks ago when I drank with a friend during the day. It was the "perfect storm" so to speak and the drama that ensued still is making my anxiety through the roof. It was my bottom. At least I'm hoping that it was. I'm a PTA type mom on the outside and I ended up in jail that night.

Anyway, I attended my first meeting a little after that. I actually was lucky because it was full of people who I felt immediately connected to. I would say it will be worth the drive for a while. Maybe I'm weird, but I actually enjoy them.

Keep coming here and reading. Go to the meetings and just listen. I am getting a lot out of just listening to people who have been successful maintaining their sobriety. I told my daughter and my husband that I was done drinking. It scares the hell out of me because what if I don't make it? But I am lucky that I have their support and encouragement. If you're like me and haven't done too much damage to your relationship with your family, cling on to that. Consider yourself with an advantage in that department.

I wish you luck and will be looking for your posts.