Sharing at meetings...
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
In the meetings I attend, after the AA announcements, preamble, how it works, etc, we break up into tables, and each table picks its own step. I try to keep my share relevant to the step, but a lot of people don't. I wonder about that....
Also, there is a very informal 3 minute rule at our meetings as well, and although I don't necessarily think that a meeting is group therapy, I also believe that sometimes people need to share for longer than that, and as long as its not a poor me, or drunkalog, I'm OK with it. I think that people who have a legitimate concern with a step, or are trying to work a step into their life, should be able to talk longer than they need to. I've rarely been to a meeting that used up the whole hour anyway!
Also, there is a very informal 3 minute rule at our meetings as well, and although I don't necessarily think that a meeting is group therapy, I also believe that sometimes people need to share for longer than that, and as long as its not a poor me, or drunkalog, I'm OK with it. I think that people who have a legitimate concern with a step, or are trying to work a step into their life, should be able to talk longer than they need to. I've rarely been to a meeting that used up the whole hour anyway!
Recovered.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 32
Originally Posted by FrothyJay 
There's a commonly held belief that meetings are places where we are supposed to share our problems, when the sole purpose of an AA meeting (according to our founders) is the teaching and practice of the 12 steps.
I'm sure some will be surprised by this because the idea of "dumping our problems" at a meeting has become so pervasive. But AA meetings were never intended to be group therapy. When I'm talking about my problems in an AA meeting, I'm taking up valuable time that isn't being devoted to the solution to our disease.
I talk about my personal problems one on one with other people.
I'm sure some will be surprised by this because the idea of "dumping our problems" at a meeting has become so pervasive. But AA meetings were never intended to be group therapy. When I'm talking about my problems in an AA meeting, I'm taking up valuable time that isn't being devoted to the solution to our disease.
I talk about my personal problems one on one with other people.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 14
I enjoy sharing quite a bit. It is a release. Now, our meetings are small and intimate, so I think that works to my favour. Larger groups, I would be able to hide and fall back. Being a smaller group allows for the people who can help...and the people who need help. I personally find it very effective. I would have a hard time with the lecture based meetings. Whatever the intent of the originators in AA was...the sharing method works best for me.
By seeing other people share, and watching others and how they process the steps while dealing with common problems. That has been a lifesaver. Listening to someone who has a long run of sobriety explain things is fine. But it loses a lot of its rawness as they have had time to use hindsight. Kind of like a parent explaining to kids why its wrong to *insert bad thing here*. In many cases I have seen there has become a disconnect from the reality of how brutal it was vs what they are saying now.
By seeing other people share, and watching others and how they process the steps while dealing with common problems. That has been a lifesaver. Listening to someone who has a long run of sobriety explain things is fine. But it loses a lot of its rawness as they have had time to use hindsight. Kind of like a parent explaining to kids why its wrong to *insert bad thing here*. In many cases I have seen there has become a disconnect from the reality of how brutal it was vs what they are saying now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
It never ceases to amaze me that after I post a thread, there's another thread running I missed that addresses exactly what I was seeking help in understanding.
Amazing. Fellowship? Higher Power at work? I'll chalk it up to both. When It comes to sharing in a meeting, I've realized that many times the best thing I have to share is an ear. I'm still a babe in the woods here, and I don't want to muck up someone else's recovery. When I was a new comer and called on to share, I gave a quick-hit on where I've been and why I was there, how hopeful I was to find strength in working the steps, how I had failed to work them before, and the end result was a 10-year run of insanity.
And that this time I was determined to get it right. That prompted an old-timer to talk about his own failure to work the steps, and the perils in doing so. The second meeting I didn't say a word, and learned, and was rewarded.
It's not an awkward moment of silence before someone pipes up...it's an amazing moment of self discovery: What, if anything, do I have to say that will help someone's recovery?
Me, I'm a sponge right now, sucking up whatever wisdom I can. But tonight I hope to have the courage to speak about my struggles in working the steps, and what some wise folks have said here -- but only after that silence stretches and stretches and it becomes obvious to me that I should open up, when my Higher Power tells me that it might help someone else that is just as stuck as I am, that working the steps in my head is folly, that self progress can get lost in, well, the self.
But if I'm not compelled to share, I'm just going to say simply that I've been working the steps alone, mention the comments from others here -- and mention the web address, suggest it's a good place for recovery work when not at a meeting -- AND ASK FOR A TEMPORARY SPONSOR. Zip. Done. Outta there. Ears, your turn.
And thanks for those who explained that sharing is about how they work or apply what they've learned from the steps.
Amazing. Fellowship? Higher Power at work? I'll chalk it up to both. When It comes to sharing in a meeting, I've realized that many times the best thing I have to share is an ear. I'm still a babe in the woods here, and I don't want to muck up someone else's recovery. When I was a new comer and called on to share, I gave a quick-hit on where I've been and why I was there, how hopeful I was to find strength in working the steps, how I had failed to work them before, and the end result was a 10-year run of insanity.
And that this time I was determined to get it right. That prompted an old-timer to talk about his own failure to work the steps, and the perils in doing so. The second meeting I didn't say a word, and learned, and was rewarded.
It's not an awkward moment of silence before someone pipes up...it's an amazing moment of self discovery: What, if anything, do I have to say that will help someone's recovery?
Me, I'm a sponge right now, sucking up whatever wisdom I can. But tonight I hope to have the courage to speak about my struggles in working the steps, and what some wise folks have said here -- but only after that silence stretches and stretches and it becomes obvious to me that I should open up, when my Higher Power tells me that it might help someone else that is just as stuck as I am, that working the steps in my head is folly, that self progress can get lost in, well, the self.
But if I'm not compelled to share, I'm just going to say simply that I've been working the steps alone, mention the comments from others here -- and mention the web address, suggest it's a good place for recovery work when not at a meeting -- AND ASK FOR A TEMPORARY SPONSOR. Zip. Done. Outta there. Ears, your turn.
And thanks for those who explained that sharing is about how they work or apply what they've learned from the steps.
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