Are you an alcoholic?
 

I think the most dangerous part of alcoholism is the lack of clear cut proof that we have on whether we are an alcoholic or not. I pondered whether I was alcoholic for years. The problem is, alcoholism is a disease of the brain. So the very organ we depend on to decide if we are alcoholic is the same organ that is being affected by alcohol....

I thought I'd post this link for anyone still wonder whether or not they are an alcoholic. Alcoholism Screening Quiz I took this test and scored 13 out of 20. Now that I have some sober time under my belt I see things so much clearer I did when I was still drinking. I remember taking these kind of tests and always questioning their validity. I always made excuses, "I'm young, all my friends drink like I do, I could quit if I really wanted to, blah, blah blah"...

The truth is I was very sick and didn't even really know it. I knew I wanted my life to change but my brain was so messed up from drinking so much it couldn't see things as they really were. I thought if I just worked out more, smoked less, slept more, found the meaning of life, and so on that my troubles would be answered and I could live a happy normal life (which of course, included alcohol)... The fact was and is I am a very average alcoholic. I have a disease that literally will kill me at some point if I don't do something about it.

I urge anyone new to do two things. First, take the quiz above and answer the questions as honestly as possible. If your score is in the alcoholic range, search the internet for the long term diagnoses of alcoholism. It either ends in hospitalization, incarceration, or death...

Think about that for a minute. If we are alcoholic, that means we have a chronic, progressive disease that will ultimately end in our death. Not only will it end in death but it makes us lose everything before we die. Wives, kids, jobs, money, health, self confidence, etc... It's not a disease so much as it's torture... And it's all so preventable.

The first thing we new comers must do is solve the mystery... am I an alcoholic. If the answer is no, FANTASTIC. But, if the answer is yes we must do something about it.

I can honestly tell you all that I am in such a better place now compared to 65 days ago. When I was going to try and get sober I was filled with so much crap. From the side effects of alcoholism, to the fear of living a life I never wanted but couldn't figure out how to change, to being resentful at everyone in my life, and so on. I was miserable. Alcohol was killing me from the inside out and I didn't even realize it.

I wish you all the best. Once I really understood I was an alcoholic and accepted that, I was able to move on from there. That is where the madness ends and recovery begins. But before I could move forward, I had to find out where I was starting. That was the purpose of the test I posted.

The "ah-hah" moment with alcoholism is a strange one. One minute we deny that we're alcoholic and the next we realize that we're not only alcoholic but we've been alcoholic for years and years... No other chronic condition is like that to my knowledge. I wish you all the best. I just want to share this gift that has been so freely given to me. If I can get better anyone can!!!

Great post RW! Also if anyone wants to see if they would be considered an alcoholic in the Big Book, here is a link and read pages 20-26 in Chapter 2.

Big Book Online Fourth Edition

I found this information helpful regarding whether AA considered me an alcoholic. When I attended AA 10 years ago I was more of a binge drinker, but with some effort on my part I was able to progress to the level described. And although every person who is still binging when they are 30 won't always reach that level, the possibility is there, and I'm proof of it.

I woke up countless mornings swearing I wouldn't drink, and by sundown I was right back at it. In my book, that's an alcoholic.

Thanks Reggiewayne for another thought-provoking post!

I think one of the most helpful things I've gotten from SR is the ability to see what it is that makes me an alcoholic. It's not the volume that I drank. It was so much more.


D

I scored 16 out of 20, but have been told I'm not a real alcoholic. Go figure ;)

Murray

Thanks, ReggieWayne.

Loved the line that we diagnose ourselves with the same organ that's effected by the disease.

My sponsor has a very simple test for alcoholism:

- when you put it in you, does it say give me more?
- when you swear it off, do you go back to it?

Most people answer yes to the first one-- we all get the physical craving idea.

It's the second question that gets at the idea that even if you're stone sober, you're powerless over alcohol if you haven't treated the underlying causes and conditions of your disease. This is where we realize that abstinence alone can't save us.

Great post man. It's good to see your progress and your acceptance.

Yes, I am without doubt an alcoholic. That never really has been any doubt in my mind really since I got sober and before that I was just banging the last few nails into the inevitable.

I used to take those tests for years I think and score pretty much 100% but until I accepted to myself I was an alcoholic and hit my personal rock-bottom then I wouldn't have wanted to change. For me I have the drinking problem in that I cannot stop once I take a drink and I always would drink until I passed out and also the thinking problem that I have to work a recovery program for. It's the thinking problem which is the crucial part of my illness for me as it's always my thinking which would take me back to a drink as being the only solution to the pain, frustration and hopelessness that my mind would feel. Being an alcoholic need not be a terrible burden though and in fact is the oppurtunity to turn your life and thinking around and open your mind and experience gifts of recovery that would never have been open to you unless you were an alkie.

I am grateful that I accept my alcoholism and know the score and that I'm not a drunk living in denial still. I totally agree that prison,mental hospital, death is the only place that drinking would take me. I knew that for sure when i got sober and I'm grateful for that.

Thanks man, Peace

Great thread!

I was just thinking about alcoholism as a disease. What makes it a disease, especially when the 'cure' is within ourselves or your HP. I still have alot of questions about the root of alcoholism within oneself and as a whole. And if it is a disease, how it may just be the worst one. Not to trivialize any disease, by all means, but because of the fact that it attacks the brain. Which in turn is the start of a serious and dangerous downward spiral, and like any disease, it claims lives.

Maybe 'a disease unlike any other' is a better way of putting it.
It's in the very organ that make us who we are as individuals. The morals we have, the self-esteem we have, what determines right from wrong, compassion, guilt, what we consider important in our lives and so forth..
And once alcohol is in our system...all that goes out the window! We'll turn our backs to anything and everything we value.
Mind boggling...

I want to learn everything about alcoholism. I need to understand it.
But I'm having a hard time giving it that much attention right now because I'm still new to recovery and still very much angry at it.

My apologies..I always seem to get caught up when posting and start rambling. :)

One thing that was different for me was that I knew for some years that I was an alcoholic. Coming to terms w/ it wasn't my 'ah-huh' moment. If anything, I used it as an excuse to keep on drinking. "I can't help it. Its who I am"
I loved that it was/is considered a disease because that was my scapegoat. I used that excuse to explain awful binges which led to horrible acts and as validation to myself that it was ok to keep on drinking.

The alcoholic mind is a sick one... :(
In every sense of the word!

i never could drink like a gentleman, Hic

I was beginning to wonder there for a minute...LOL

Sondra-a grateful recovering real alcoholic

Addiction is progressive...when I first started out I would not have been considered an alcoholic by that questionaire.

I figure that the vast majority of people who find this forum do so because the individual or someone the individual knows has a problem. I know I didn't find this place by accident...and I do know that denial can exist at any point along the addiction spectrum.

Welcome to all who find this place. It helped to save me.

I also got 13/20. I used to do quizzes like that when I was drinking but I'd lie to myself to get a different result.

It was "passing" tests like these, determining I wasn't an alcoholic, that keep me drinking for years. Alcoholic? Perhaps not, but I am willing to accept the progressive nature of the disease and am thankful I stopped when I did. I am also willing to accept that if I drink again, I'll be right back where I was 5 months ago--working towards a perfect 20 out of 20 on the Alcoholism Screening Quiz!

I don't care whether I am or not...I view alcohol as the poison it is and want no part of it. This way I never have the conversation in my head about wishing I was a "normal" drinker or longing for just one.

Fyi...I was an alcoholic.

I never really liked labelling people..whether I'm an alcoholic or not doesn't really matter, what matters is that I am aware that alcohol causes me problems...in my life..and that I am better off without it...I will say I am an alcoholic, but it doesn't define me...

All i know is that i love a drink or 30, to me to get drunk is/was a natural state to live my life - as an active alcoholic i could not see why on earth people didn't want to drink as much as i did. I thought they were the odd ones or extremely boring ones. It wasn't until the fun ended, the vomit and rows commenced etc etc that i started to realise that i should 'cut back' only i couldn't or rather i didn't want to, i would find excuse after excuse until it came down to the rock bottom....... finally accepting that i am powerless and YES i am clearly an alcoholic like it or not the evidence suggests i am unless i can prove different which i can't.

Even if a person is not an alcoholic they can still abuse alcohol to the point of causing just as many problems as an alcoholic. Health both emotional and physical of an alcohol abuser can be damaged to the same degree as an alcoholic. Also problems of legal, family, job and the like can suffer just as badly as the alcoholic.

There was only one alcohol problem indication that I needed to be aware of. That I was drinking way way beyond what has been suggested by some in the medical community as non-alcohol abusive, two drinks a day at my weight. I had a very serious problem.

VERBATIM........I have written and said these exact lines.

It still is who I am (an alcoholic) ..........
and I still can't help it (powerless over it)........

Difference is..........NOW, TODAY knowing those same two facts are what I use to stay sober :)

life IS good

I don't know and I don't really care. I just know that alcohol and me just don't mix. The combo just ain't pretty any way you look at it.

Obviously one needs to make the decision whether they are an alcoholic or not to be able to do something about it or not...i've never understood people that don't like the label alcoholic, it's like saying i'm not sure whether i have asthma or not but if i do i don't care for the label actually i just know i have bouts of not being able to breath properly so please lets not label me?! The doc's jaw would just hit the floor?!