Thank you for day 16
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 23
Thank you for day 16
Just what the title says, I want to thank you all for day 16.
Here is my story. You have all heard it before, and quite a few of you have lived it. But I need to get it out.
I started drinking at age 14. Am now 43. I have been battling this disease since I first started drinking. I have quit a few times, twice for over two years (I was sober for 2 and half years, drank one night, then sober for another 2 and a half years).
Like many of you, I am tired of the blackouts, the hangovers, the anxiety, the feelings of dread, the embarassment, the apologizing, all of it.
I am what is comonly reffered to as a functional alcoholic, although I disagree with that term, I don't feel like I function very well, but the bills are paid, have had the same job for years. Like others, from the outside, I have it all together. The only ones that know any different are my wonderful wife and daughter. They are my reason for being.
I have tried the all the moderation tricks over the years, have reasoned with myself, have made all the deals with myself, and of course, it never works.
So how did you all help me? I have been sober for 16 days. I am on a business trip at the moment 500 miles from home. As I have done before when I have been "sober", I was thinking I could pick up a bottle and sit in my hotel room and drink. NO one would know. Instead I googled for alcoholic forums and found this site and started reading. For the past few hours I have been sitting here reading. You all have made me laugh, made me cry, I have been going through the whole gamet of emotions tonight. In reading these posts, I have seen me in so many of them. I have seen all the things I have tried over the years, and am seeing they just do not work. The only way I can do this is to not drink. My wife is worth it, my daughter is worth it, and I am worth it.
You have shown me I am not alone with this, and that yes, I need help. I can not do this by myself. And most importantly, you have kept me from drinking tonight. For that I am truley thankful.
Here is my story. You have all heard it before, and quite a few of you have lived it. But I need to get it out.
I started drinking at age 14. Am now 43. I have been battling this disease since I first started drinking. I have quit a few times, twice for over two years (I was sober for 2 and half years, drank one night, then sober for another 2 and a half years).
Like many of you, I am tired of the blackouts, the hangovers, the anxiety, the feelings of dread, the embarassment, the apologizing, all of it.
I am what is comonly reffered to as a functional alcoholic, although I disagree with that term, I don't feel like I function very well, but the bills are paid, have had the same job for years. Like others, from the outside, I have it all together. The only ones that know any different are my wonderful wife and daughter. They are my reason for being.
I have tried the all the moderation tricks over the years, have reasoned with myself, have made all the deals with myself, and of course, it never works.
So how did you all help me? I have been sober for 16 days. I am on a business trip at the moment 500 miles from home. As I have done before when I have been "sober", I was thinking I could pick up a bottle and sit in my hotel room and drink. NO one would know. Instead I googled for alcoholic forums and found this site and started reading. For the past few hours I have been sitting here reading. You all have made me laugh, made me cry, I have been going through the whole gamet of emotions tonight. In reading these posts, I have seen me in so many of them. I have seen all the things I have tried over the years, and am seeing they just do not work. The only way I can do this is to not drink. My wife is worth it, my daughter is worth it, and I am worth it.
You have shown me I am not alone with this, and that yes, I need help. I can not do this by myself. And most importantly, you have kept me from drinking tonight. For that I am truley thankful.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Tahoe CA
Posts: 1,098
Welcome to you thegoodlife. Hope you stick around
and keep posting. Looking forward to getting to
know you better. Yep, you are right a bunch
of wonderful and supportive people on this forum.
It is a godsend to me!
and keep posting. Looking forward to getting to
know you better. Yep, you are right a bunch
of wonderful and supportive people on this forum.
It is a godsend to me!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR. Like you, I made the decision to quit, then found SR, and there has been no turning back. With the little bit of clarity that 5 months sober has given me, I can't believe how much alcohol had enslaved me, and how glad I am to be free of it.
Day 16 you are a miracle hang on though cause your in for a ride but the good news is many of us will take that ride with you.
Keep the Faith
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by coop1 
Welcome to SR, this place has done wonders for me. Please keep us posted. Congrats on 16 days. If you don't mind me asking what made you pick up after 2.5/5 years?
Two and a half years later, I thought I could drink again, the next 15 years were a roller coaster that ended 17 days ago. It has to end or I risk losing my family.
To clarify, this is my second marriage, we have been together for 17 years, and I can not losing what I have. She has stood by me through this. SHe has stood by me as I have gone through this hell, and it wasn't until 17 days ago that I realized she has been going through hell too, only she has had to go through it sober.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome! I went back to drinking after several years, too, somehow "forgetting" the pain it causes, and thinking things would be different. Now I realize how much sheer work it was to try to drink reasonably (which I did for a year or two). Eventually, of course, it was deja vu all over again.
Glad you're here - this is a great place for support. I use it every day and it makes staying sober so much more pleasant!.
Glad you're here - this is a great place for support. I use it every day and it makes staying sober so much more pleasant!.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome to SR, and congrats on 17 days!!
SR has been a huge part of my recovery. There's never been a time, when I needed someone to "talk" to, that someone wasn't here. No matter what mood I'm in..in a funk, or walking on cloud 9, there's someone else here going through something similar, and that's pretty cool.
We're like a REALLY big family, so welcome to the family
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
SR has been a huge part of my recovery. There's never been a time, when I needed someone to "talk" to, that someone wasn't here. No matter what mood I'm in..in a funk, or walking on cloud 9, there's someone else here going through something similar, and that's pretty cool.
We're like a REALLY big family, so welcome to the family
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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