HI I'm inthecan...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 27
HI I'm inthecan...
That's how I start it right? anyway I have been a proud functional alcoholic since I was around 17 and I am 48 now.
I excel at work, pay my bills and I am pretty respected in my community. Every night I knock down at least an 18 pack and I'm at it pretty early in the morning on the weekend to finish off that daily case.
Lately I find that getting a buzz on has unconsciously become my answer to almost everything but the thing that scares the hell out of me is that I have started having blackouts (I think that's what they're called) You know I wake up in the morning fully clothed and can't remember a damn thing about the night before. That just can't be good.
I have several resources available to me (several friends in AA and an addiction program at work) but they also each have downsides that I would rather avoid.
I quit smoking cold turkey in May with the help of another support group forum and I'm hoping you guys/gals might help me through this. I tend to work with a no BS rule so feel free to give it to me straight anytime.
Today's challenge: I am going to have to figure out how to deal with my wife. I have talked to her about the blackouts and quitting but she would prefer that I just cut back on consumption, even I know how that one turns out. I have had the flu for the last few days and I have used that for the reason I have not been drinking, even though I have had no problem in the past knocking them down when I'm sick. I really do want to drink but I don't want to waist the last few days (they really weren't that easy) and I think they are 2 of just a handful of days I haven't drank in a long long time.
Sorry for the long post & thanks in advance for any support
I excel at work, pay my bills and I am pretty respected in my community. Every night I knock down at least an 18 pack and I'm at it pretty early in the morning on the weekend to finish off that daily case.
Lately I find that getting a buzz on has unconsciously become my answer to almost everything but the thing that scares the hell out of me is that I have started having blackouts (I think that's what they're called) You know I wake up in the morning fully clothed and can't remember a damn thing about the night before. That just can't be good.
I have several resources available to me (several friends in AA and an addiction program at work) but they also each have downsides that I would rather avoid.
I quit smoking cold turkey in May with the help of another support group forum and I'm hoping you guys/gals might help me through this. I tend to work with a no BS rule so feel free to give it to me straight anytime.
Today's challenge: I am going to have to figure out how to deal with my wife. I have talked to her about the blackouts and quitting but she would prefer that I just cut back on consumption, even I know how that one turns out. I have had the flu for the last few days and I have used that for the reason I have not been drinking, even though I have had no problem in the past knocking them down when I'm sick. I really do want to drink but I don't want to waist the last few days (they really weren't that easy) and I think they are 2 of just a handful of days I haven't drank in a long long time.
Sorry for the long post & thanks in advance for any support
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 27
Why would another alcoholic want me to quit? I will not push her though.
I wanted her to quit smoking with me in may and she refused. I just told her that I had to and that if she didn't want to quit I was cool with that. A week later she quit and we have both been smoke free since. I hoping that it will work the same this time.
I have been looking around for a list of side effects to expect early in my sobriety. I have a horrible headache, can't sleep, and a lot of other issues that can be associated with my flu.
Anyone know of a list of detox side effects anywhere?
I wanted her to quit smoking with me in may and she refused. I just told her that I had to and that if she didn't want to quit I was cool with that. A week later she quit and we have both been smoke free since. I hoping that it will work the same this time.
I have been looking around for a list of side effects to expect early in my sobriety. I have a horrible headache, can't sleep, and a lot of other issues that can be associated with my flu.
Anyone know of a list of detox side effects anywhere?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
Thanks Mark,ya beat me to it.
Welcome to our recovery family, Inthecan. Never mind what your wife wants, if you know it's time to quit drinking, then quit. She'll either join you or she won't, but ultimately it's your life and your choice.
Welcome to our recovery family, Inthecan.
Never mind what your wife wants, if you know it's time to quit drinking, then quit. She'll either join you or she won't, but ultimately it's your life and your choice.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 551
Hello, I am nearly 40 and have been drinking for the last 15+ years, started social then just escalated. I am now around 40+ days sober and feeling really good about my decision. I went to a doctor, told the absolute truth said I want to do this at home but need help to ensure I don't have a fit or anything as my body would go into major shock. So I have been sending my blood pressure to my dr at first three times a day and she would advise on meds. I have had valium and also Betamin and also a multi vitamin. This has worked for me and then after 3 to 4 weeks started to go to the gym. One bad habit is diet coke, but I try to drink lots of water. I hope this helps - after the length of time you have been drinking I would suggest getting a dr involved and ensuring you are safe through your recover, I hope this helps, it takes courage, but the benefits are enormous.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Tahoe CA
Posts: 1,098
Hi inthecan and welcome.
About those blackouts. No they can't be good. Be glad so far you have
woken up in your bed fully clothed.
A total black out is what brought me to my knees and scared me to death.
On Jan 20th I got off work and decided to go to the bar where I work and
have a couple of glasses of wine. The next day was my birthday and decided to celebrate. Nothing was wrong, I wasn't feeling bad, depressed or angry. I had three glasses of wine, granted they were large glasses but then
THAT is all I remember.
I blacked out at that point. A complete blackout not any memory of it at all even now 12 days later.
Cut to the chase....I came to in jail. I might have blacked out, but I kept on going. What happened has been pieced together from my son's and friends.
The bartender was going to give me a ride home, but didn't have room in her truck (her husband was doing the Karaoke at the bar that night like every week) and with their equipment I wouldn't fit, so they called me a cab thinking I would get home just fine.
Something happened and I evidently attacked the cab driver, who drove me to the local jail to have me arrested. Yep, you read that right. I remember nothing about any of it. Absolutely NOTHING!
The booking officer happened to be my older son's G/F, and after taking the cab driver and arresting officer aside, convinced them not to bring assault charges against me. I was arrested for Drunk in Public.
When I came to I had bruises all over my arms and the buttons on my shirt were ripped off. I am not a violent person at all.
Something happened and I'm responsible for it and all I have to go on is what people have told me. I am soo frightened and ashamed I can't even express it.
I will have to go to court and deal with the consequences. Right now it is a Drunk in Public, but I imagine the DA could decide to add assault charges if they so choose. I have no way of defending myself at all. (Besides, there is no defense in what I did.)
Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack your thread, but I guess I needed to get this out. I decided to get sober and stay sober that minute I became aware and feel just as strongly about it almost two weeks later. I hope I never forget what happened to me ever.
I know now that if I pick up another drink that a blackout could be waiting around the corner and the consequences could be even worse. It wasn't
a huge amount of alcohol either. OK I'm rambling now. I hope my sharing
helps you in some small way to see that if you are having blackouts you have passed the point of being a functional alcoholic. Thanks for reading.
About those blackouts. No they can't be good. Be glad so far you have
woken up in your bed fully clothed.
A total black out is what brought me to my knees and scared me to death.
On Jan 20th I got off work and decided to go to the bar where I work and
have a couple of glasses of wine. The next day was my birthday and decided to celebrate. Nothing was wrong, I wasn't feeling bad, depressed or angry. I had three glasses of wine, granted they were large glasses but then
THAT is all I remember.
I blacked out at that point. A complete blackout not any memory of it at all even now 12 days later.
Cut to the chase....I came to in jail. I might have blacked out, but I kept on going. What happened has been pieced together from my son's and friends.
The bartender was going to give me a ride home, but didn't have room in her truck (her husband was doing the Karaoke at the bar that night like every week) and with their equipment I wouldn't fit, so they called me a cab thinking I would get home just fine.
Something happened and I evidently attacked the cab driver, who drove me to the local jail to have me arrested. Yep, you read that right. I remember nothing about any of it. Absolutely NOTHING!
The booking officer happened to be my older son's G/F, and after taking the cab driver and arresting officer aside, convinced them not to bring assault charges against me. I was arrested for Drunk in Public.
When I came to I had bruises all over my arms and the buttons on my shirt were ripped off. I am not a violent person at all.
Something happened and I'm responsible for it and all I have to go on is what people have told me. I am soo frightened and ashamed I can't even express it.
I will have to go to court and deal with the consequences. Right now it is a Drunk in Public, but I imagine the DA could decide to add assault charges if they so choose. I have no way of defending myself at all. (Besides, there is no defense in what I did.)
Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack your thread, but I guess I needed to get this out. I decided to get sober and stay sober that minute I became aware and feel just as strongly about it almost two weeks later. I hope I never forget what happened to me ever.
I know now that if I pick up another drink that a blackout could be waiting around the corner and the consequences could be even worse. It wasn't
a huge amount of alcohol either. OK I'm rambling now. I hope my sharing
helps you in some small way to see that if you are having blackouts you have passed the point of being a functional alcoholic. Thanks for reading.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 27
All of you are incredible! -Thank You for your overwhelming support and help.
I should have come here a long time ago.
Mark thanks it looks like that is the whole section of the forum I should be reading now.
mtnmajic Yes the blackouts are extremely frightening they are my breaking point pushing me to recovery.
I do not feel so hot right now I think I'll try to lay down for a while.
again - Thank you all!
I should have come here a long time ago.
Mark thanks it looks like that is the whole section of the forum I should be reading now.
mtnmajic Yes the blackouts are extremely frightening they are my breaking point pushing me to recovery.
I do not feel so hot right now I think I'll try to lay down for a while.
again - Thank you all!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
Originally Posted by inthecan 
Why would another alcoholic want me to quit? I will not push her though.
I wanted her to quit smoking with me in may and she refused. I just told her that I had to and that if she didn't want to quit I was cool with that. A week later she quit and we have both been smoke free since. I hoping that it will work the same this time.
I have been looking around for a list of side effects to expect early in my sobriety. I have a horrible headache, can't sleep, and a lot of other issues that can be associated with my flu.
Anyone know of a list of detox side effects anywhere?
I wanted her to quit smoking with me in may and she refused. I just told her that I had to and that if she didn't want to quit I was cool with that. A week later she quit and we have both been smoke free since. I hoping that it will work the same this time.
I have been looking around for a list of side effects to expect early in my sobriety. I have a horrible headache, can't sleep, and a lot of other issues that can be associated with my flu.
Anyone know of a list of detox side effects anywhere?
My wife drinks a glass of wine or two every day but isn't a problem drinker from what I can tell. On two separate occasions I told her I wanted to quit and her reaction was surprising (similar to your wife's: "you don't need to quit, you just need to slow down"). Sorta bummed me out because in a way I was asking for help and she didn't seem to want to help me.
When I finally, really made up my mind about it, I just quit and didn't say a word to her. I'm on day 34 and we still haven't discussed it. I'm guessing she's noticed but I'm not saying anything unless she asks.
Regarding the side effects: I had persistent headaches for about 3 weeks. They were never debilitating but were always there. So I took lots of aspirin and rode it out, and now they're gone for the most part.
Good luck with everything!
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,841
Welcome to SR! I was a daily beer drinker (12-18 per day) for 10 solid years and a weekly binge drinker for the 20 before that. I had a few blackouts, but anxiety was my biggest problem. I finally quit on June 22, 2009. I've been able to stay sober with the help of a few close friends/family members and SR - best thing I've ever done! If you really want to quit, you can do it, but you've really got to want it for yourself.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California
Posts: 499
yep...blackouts. One minute I was fine the next I'm waking up some hours later with my boyfriend updating me on what happened. Most recently I guess I was getting physically violent with him. I'd even drive that way. I'd pick up my kids from the mall thinking I was fine I guess...the next day they would mention something that supposedly I said or commented on while driving..and I didn't remember it.
Now that is scarey! So for me, having blackouts even before I drank as much as I usually drank was my doh! moment.
I'm past the 2 month sober point and doing pretty good. I can tell my kids and boyfriend are appreciating me being sober. And for the most part feeling decent.
No reason to go back to what I was doing. Waste of time, money, and life.
Anyways, your body trying to tell you something..probably has been for a while, now it's trying to knock some sense into you- so good time to listen.
Life is too short- I'm 46 been drinking since about the same age as you..and "I don't wanna miss a thing" (Aerosmith)
Sorry: you said this was about how to deal with your wife. Everything will fall in place if you do what's right for you. Period.
Now that is scarey! So for me, having blackouts even before I drank as much as I usually drank was my doh! moment.
I'm past the 2 month sober point and doing pretty good. I can tell my kids and boyfriend are appreciating me being sober. And for the most part feeling decent.
No reason to go back to what I was doing. Waste of time, money, and life.
Anyways, your body trying to tell you something..probably has been for a while, now it's trying to knock some sense into you- so good time to listen.
Life is too short- I'm 46 been drinking since about the same age as you..and "I don't wanna miss a thing" (Aerosmith)
Sorry: you said this was about how to deal with your wife. Everything will fall in place if you do what's right for you. Period.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
Welcome inthecan...you will find a lot of understanding and support here.
Blackouts are terribly scary; it got to the point I was having them every time I drank. I would get hostile and abusive and act in ways I never could comprehend sober. Then I went to solitary drinking...and it didn't improve anything (I sent nasty, blistering emails to people that made me want to curl up and die the next morning.)
I'm on day 11 and for the first several (4 or 5) days felt achey, itchy, nauseated and shaky. That passed although I still feel low on energy and tired at times. I am going to AA which is helping me...not for everyone but I accept that I cannot quit without solid support.
Do what you have to for YOU.
Blackouts are terribly scary; it got to the point I was having them every time I drank. I would get hostile and abusive and act in ways I never could comprehend sober. Then I went to solitary drinking...and it didn't improve anything (I sent nasty, blistering emails to people that made me want to curl up and die the next morning.)
I'm on day 11 and for the first several (4 or 5) days felt achey, itchy, nauseated and shaky. That passed although I still feel low on energy and tired at times. I am going to AA which is helping me...not for everyone but I accept that I cannot quit without solid support.
Do what you have to for YOU.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by Stevie1
Welcome inthecan...you will find a lot of understanding and support here.
Blackouts are terribly scary; it got to the point I was having them every time I drank. I would get hostile and abusive and act in ways I never could comprehend sober. Then I went to solitary drinking...and it didn't improve anything (I sent nasty, blistering emails to people that made me want to curl up and die the next morning.)
I'm on day 11 and for the first several (4 or 5) days felt achey, itchy, nauseated and shaky. That passed although I still feel low on energy and tired at times. I am going to AA which is helping me...not for everyone but I accept that I cannot quit without solid support.
Do what you have to for YOU.
Blackouts are terribly scary; it got to the point I was having them every time I drank. I would get hostile and abusive and act in ways I never could comprehend sober. Then I went to solitary drinking...and it didn't improve anything (I sent nasty, blistering emails to people that made me want to curl up and die the next morning.)
I'm on day 11 and for the first several (4 or 5) days felt achey, itchy, nauseated and shaky. That passed although I still feel low on energy and tired at times. I am going to AA which is helping me...not for everyone but I accept that I cannot quit without solid support.
Do what you have to for YOU.
Blackouts every time I drank: check
Hostile and abusive: check (only verbally but I'm pretty sure that would have escalated to physical had I not stopped.
I really hope I feel well enough to go back to work tomorrow because I think the distraction will be good. Luckily I also have a smart phone to check in here if I need to.
I'm also looking forward to being social again without being drunk.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 82
Welcome! Yeah, the blackouts were a big eye opener for me. Its like the your body/brain is saying "enough already"! very scary. And as far as your wife, sounds like she doesnt want to lose a drinking buddy. I know there were many people in my life that did not seem happy with me getting sober, i think its because it maybe reminds them that they have a problem as well.
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