Third night without drinking...
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 270
If someone goes into specifics about their beliefs, or their non-beliefs in a meeting, just turn them off knowing they're committing a blunder in AA general behavior. No one is interested in the least what anyone else believes is true for themselves.
Sometimes it takes new people a while to get that, and they commonly make the error of going on. Just give them a bit of tolerance and don't make the same gaff.
Sometimes it takes new people a while to get that, and they commonly make the error of going on. Just give them a bit of tolerance and don't make the same gaff.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
Originally Posted by cabledude 
If someone goes into specifics about their beliefs, or their non-beliefs in a meeting, just turn them off knowing they're committing a blunder in AA general behavior. No one is interested in the least what anyone else believes is true for themselves.
Sometimes it takes new people a while to get that, and they commonly make the error of going on. Just give them a bit of tolerance and don't make the same gaff.
Sometimes it takes new people a while to get that, and they commonly make the error of going on. Just give them a bit of tolerance and don't make the same gaff.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 270
Jay, I care that you have your own conception of a power greater than yourself. What the specifics of that belief of your is doesn't interest me in the least, because it's different than mine, and hearing the specifics of what you believe has no relation or effect on what I believe.
Won't change it, has no bearing on it, and if you were to go on about what you believe is true for you I'd tune you out because it's meaningless to me, and I think I'd not be the only one to do that.
You, as I have probably at one time sat in a meeting between an atheist and a someone who thinks the evangelist on TV is speaking God's message to him. They're both able to stay sober using the conceptions they each have, both solid AAs getting along well, and it's a great thing they have their beliefs, but I'm not interested in hearing any the specifics of their beliefs or non-beliefs from either of them, as it's a waste of my time. I'm not going to become an atheist, and I don't watch TV. Zero meaning and zero interest to me.
One guy in my group is the finest example of a Christian I know, and he made the error of asking a sober guy he knew to speak to our group, and this guy went on about the bible and what he believes at length. My friend slunk lower in his chair as the minutes went by and privately apologized to all after for ever asking him to speak. Very embarassing for my friend.
What you believe is your business and not my concern. It's only basic courtesy not to make it my concern.
Won't change it, has no bearing on it, and if you were to go on about what you believe is true for you I'd tune you out because it's meaningless to me, and I think I'd not be the only one to do that.
You, as I have probably at one time sat in a meeting between an atheist and a someone who thinks the evangelist on TV is speaking God's message to him. They're both able to stay sober using the conceptions they each have, both solid AAs getting along well, and it's a great thing they have their beliefs, but I'm not interested in hearing any the specifics of their beliefs or non-beliefs from either of them, as it's a waste of my time. I'm not going to become an atheist, and I don't watch TV. Zero meaning and zero interest to me.
One guy in my group is the finest example of a Christian I know, and he made the error of asking a sober guy he knew to speak to our group, and this guy went on about the bible and what he believes at length. My friend slunk lower in his chair as the minutes went by and privately apologized to all after for ever asking him to speak. Very embarassing for my friend.
What you believe is your business and not my concern. It's only basic courtesy not to make it my concern.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
Originally Posted by cabledude
Jay, I care that you have your own conception of a power greater than yourself. What the specifics of that belief of your is doesn't interest me in the least, because it's different than mine, and hearing the specifics of what you believe has no relation or effect on what I believe.
Won't change it, has no bearing on it, and if you were to go on about what you believe is true for you I'd tune you out because it's meaningless to me, and I think I'd not be the only one to do that.
You, as I have probably at one time sat in a meeting between an atheist and a someone who thinks the evangelist on TV is speaking God's message to him. They're both able to stay sober using the conceptions they each have, both solid AAs getting along well, and it's a great thing they have their beliefs, but I'm not interested in hearing any the specifics of their beliefs or non-beliefs from either of them, as it's a waste of my time. I'm not going to become an atheist, and I don't watch TV. Zero meaning and zero interest to me.
One guy in my group is the finest example of a Christian I know, and he made the error of asking a sober guy he knew to speak to our group, and this guy went on about the bible and what he believes at length. My friend slunk lower in his chair as the minutes went by and privately apologized to all after for ever asking him to speak. Very embarassing for my friend.
What you believe is your business and not my concern. It's only basic courtesy not to make it my concern.
Won't change it, has no bearing on it, and if you were to go on about what you believe is true for you I'd tune you out because it's meaningless to me, and I think I'd not be the only one to do that.
You, as I have probably at one time sat in a meeting between an atheist and a someone who thinks the evangelist on TV is speaking God's message to him. They're both able to stay sober using the conceptions they each have, both solid AAs getting along well, and it's a great thing they have their beliefs, but I'm not interested in hearing any the specifics of their beliefs or non-beliefs from either of them, as it's a waste of my time. I'm not going to become an atheist, and I don't watch TV. Zero meaning and zero interest to me.
One guy in my group is the finest example of a Christian I know, and he made the error of asking a sober guy he knew to speak to our group, and this guy went on about the bible and what he believes at length. My friend slunk lower in his chair as the minutes went by and privately apologized to all after for ever asking him to speak. Very embarassing for my friend.
What you believe is your business and not my concern. It's only basic courtesy not to make it my concern.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 270
Jay, you surely don't mean that the purpose of an AA meeting is for you to talk about the specific spiritual ideas that you personally believe are true but others don't believe or care in the least that you believe those specific ideas?
I think it's more than that.
Sharing that you came to believe something and the importance of that belief in your sobriety is appropriate. The specifics are inappropriate. We never should have to endure lectures about the wonderful intricacies of Wiccan, Eastern, Christian, Muslim, Pagan, ect, ect, faiths.
You've acquired a belief that you respond to and can access to get between you and a drink, great. Now don't go around bothering people with the specifics of it.
Some guys I've known for 29 years in AA and still don't know the specifics of their beliefs. Once at about 7yrs I was curious and asked my sponsor what he believed-he refused to say, because it's that personal. Before or since that time I've not been the least curious. I've had to endure it on rare occasions because new people don't get it yet, but we tolerate all sorts of things in AA as people grow.
Not telling you what to do at all, just how I see things.
I think it's more than that.
Sharing that you came to believe something and the importance of that belief in your sobriety is appropriate. The specifics are inappropriate. We never should have to endure lectures about the wonderful intricacies of Wiccan, Eastern, Christian, Muslim, Pagan, ect, ect, faiths.
You've acquired a belief that you respond to and can access to get between you and a drink, great. Now don't go around bothering people with the specifics of it.
Some guys I've known for 29 years in AA and still don't know the specifics of their beliefs. Once at about 7yrs I was curious and asked my sponsor what he believed-he refused to say, because it's that personal. Before or since that time I've not been the least curious. I've had to endure it on rare occasions because new people don't get it yet, but we tolerate all sorts of things in AA as people grow.
Not telling you what to do at all, just how I see things.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
"Sobriety, freedom from alcohol through the teaching and practicing of the 12 Steps, is the sole purposeof an AA group."
Bill Wilson.
AA is a spiritual program. There is no "spiritual part," the whole thing is spiritual. We are told over and over again that without a vital spiritual experience, we cannot recover. The process whereby we come to that experience, in AA, is the 12 steps.
You are talking about religion, not spirituality. No, I don't want a lecture on Catholicism and how Jesus saved someone's soul. I agree, it's inappropriate.
But talking about God-- as another word for higher power-- is exactly appropriate in an AA meeting. And people should share their experiences with how that power transformed their lives. This is the essence of AA. Not talking about how our hamster got sick and and the weedwacker jammed but we didn't drink over it.
Don't go around bothering people with the specifics of it
You sure you aren't telling me what to do?
Bill Wilson.
AA is a spiritual program. There is no "spiritual part," the whole thing is spiritual. We are told over and over again that without a vital spiritual experience, we cannot recover. The process whereby we come to that experience, in AA, is the 12 steps.
You are talking about religion, not spirituality. No, I don't want a lecture on Catholicism and how Jesus saved someone's soul. I agree, it's inappropriate.
But talking about God-- as another word for higher power-- is exactly appropriate in an AA meeting. And people should share their experiences with how that power transformed their lives. This is the essence of AA. Not talking about how our hamster got sick and and the weedwacker jammed but we didn't drink over it.
Don't go around bothering people with the specifics of it
You sure you aren't telling me what to do?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 11
Welcome barriemum
I am like u were drinking 6 beers a night. Back in august I quit I think it was for like 3 weeks. Back then I was drinking 12 to 18 beers per night! LOL!! What was I thinking? lol Anyway today I am trying to quit again! 6 beers for me is ok, but then after the 6th comes the urge for a 7th and 8th. I cant afford to go back into that rutt again. This place is great, real motivator!! When I was sober I use to read these boards every night! now I am going to try and do it again! ANyway, Good Luck to ya!!!
I am like u were drinking 6 beers a night. Back in august I quit I think it was for like 3 weeks. Back then I was drinking 12 to 18 beers per night! LOL!! What was I thinking? lol Anyway today I am trying to quit again! 6 beers for me is ok, but then after the 6th comes the urge for a 7th and 8th. I cant afford to go back into that rutt again. This place is great, real motivator!! When I was sober I use to read these boards every night! now I am going to try and do it again! ANyway, Good Luck to ya!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Certainly religious dogma has no place in an AA meeting, and many other places...
Shouldn't we share on some level, our spiritual experience, in a general way? I'd much rather hear about that, even if it veers into religion a little bit...than the problems a newcomer had installing their dishwasher, which I heard about in detail at a recent meeting...
Is it more acceptable to endure the specifics of plumbing a kitchen appliance than it is to tolerate a reference to God that may have a christian perspective?
Shouldn't we share on some level, our spiritual experience, in a general way? I'd much rather hear about that, even if it veers into religion a little bit...than the problems a newcomer had installing their dishwasher, which I heard about in detail at a recent meeting...
Is it more acceptable to endure the specifics of plumbing a kitchen appliance than it is to tolerate a reference to God that may have a christian perspective?
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 270
Glad you agree the specifics believed by the individual are to be avoided, if they are tied to a religion or if they are not.
I take you to understand that someone going into the specifics of their established faith is as inappropriate as someone taking up meeting time by going on at length about their atheism. Or people who go on about what the air spirits are continually telling them. Whatever people believe doesn't matter if it gets between them and a drink, and one set of beliefs is every bit as good as another if it accomplishes that. We shouldn't conduct sales pitches on our beliefs, as that's bad form for some good reasons.
We don't recommend any conceptions-it has to be personal to the member to work, something they can belive in. The danger we avoid by keeping our references general when speaking is in its possible influence on newer people who are conducting their search. If your specific conceptions sound great they may adopt them wholecloth without thought or evaluation. And when the chips are down for them someone else's beliefs gained 2nd hand may not work.
We have no disagreement as far as I can tell by your last post.
I take you to understand that someone going into the specifics of their established faith is as inappropriate as someone taking up meeting time by going on at length about their atheism. Or people who go on about what the air spirits are continually telling them. Whatever people believe doesn't matter if it gets between them and a drink, and one set of beliefs is every bit as good as another if it accomplishes that. We shouldn't conduct sales pitches on our beliefs, as that's bad form for some good reasons.
We don't recommend any conceptions-it has to be personal to the member to work, something they can belive in. The danger we avoid by keeping our references general when speaking is in its possible influence on newer people who are conducting their search. If your specific conceptions sound great they may adopt them wholecloth without thought or evaluation. And when the chips are down for them someone else's beliefs gained 2nd hand may not work.
We have no disagreement as far as I can tell by your last post.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Barrie, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 18
Oh, I'm here!
Just sat back and watched things unfold...as I'm totally new to this, I obviously can't contribute much to this conversation!
Going to my second meeting tonight. This one is closed, and for beginners, so I'm hoping it will be a good fit. I'm also going to try and pick up a copy of the Big Book while I'm there.
I'm going into my "night six" and am starting to sleep better (thank goodness!) Thanks to everyone who assured me it would get better...if I hadn't heard that I don't know if I could have kept going.
Just sat back and watched things unfold...as I'm totally new to this, I obviously can't contribute much to this conversation!
Going to my second meeting tonight. This one is closed, and for beginners, so I'm hoping it will be a good fit. I'm also going to try and pick up a copy of the Big Book while I'm there.
I'm going into my "night six" and am starting to sleep better (thank goodness!) Thanks to everyone who assured me it would get better...if I hadn't heard that I don't know if I could have kept going.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Hi B
I'm sorry your thread was a bit hijacked. I hope it's not put you off AA - all this bickering. That's certainly not my experience of AA. and I hope it's not yours either.
Your doing good mate.
So good the sleep is getting better.
How are you enjoying the hangover free mornings?
Keep coming back and telling us how you are getting on.
Take care
S
xx
I'm sorry your thread was a bit hijacked. I hope it's not put you off AA - all this bickering. That's certainly not my experience of AA. and I hope it's not yours either.
Your doing good mate.
So good the sleep is getting better.
How are you enjoying the hangover free mornings?
Keep coming back and telling us how you are getting on.
Take care
S
xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
Barriemum-- my apologies. I should not have kept that dialogue going on your thread. As you can tell, we're sometimes very passionate about recovery.
But when I let that get in the way of someone trying to figure out how not to drink, I've missed the whole point.
I hope you're doing well. Please let us know, and we'll get back to basics.
But when I let that get in the way of someone trying to figure out how not to drink, I've missed the whole point.
I hope you're doing well. Please let us know, and we'll get back to basics.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Barriemum - it does indeed get better, a little bit each day. Congratulations on night 6! Just keep taking it one day at a time and try to keep things simple for a while (of course, life has a way of continuing on!).
Sobriety is a process, so hang in there. I'm glad you were able to sleep better last night. I remember how annoying the insomnia was.
Hope your meeting went well!
Sobriety is a process, so hang in there. I'm glad you were able to sleep better last night. I remember how annoying the insomnia was.
Hope your meeting went well!
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