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Old 01-30-2011, 09:02 AM   #1 (permalink)
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19 Days and counting...


Its been 19 days since my last sip of the sauce. I feel great (other than this cold) and my body seems to be returning to normal. The white part of my eyes are actually white again and not yellow. No longer sweating at night time and actually can sleep through the night. I still go out quite a bit with my friends during the nights, but have no urge to drink. I almost use it as motivation not to drink. The shear amount of booze we used to consume is amazing. I was out on Tuesday and watched two of my buddies kill a 30 pack and a bottle of Tequila to pre-game, then at the event they each had another 10 or so drinks with about 8 shots. It just made me realize what a dumb ass I used to act like. I guess everyones body is different, I was doing that same thing and my body just started to shut down. Maybe theirs wont, but if it does I will be there for them.

Mike
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Old 01-30-2011, 09:17 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Congratulations on your 19 days! It's awesome that you're feeling good. From what I've experienced, the physical changes in sobriety just keep getting better.

It would be really difficult for me, even at 9+ months sober, to be around friends drinking so heavily. As for whether it's affecting them -- I hope not, but it does sounds like quite a bit. They are lucky that you can be there for them, as a sober example, if/when they need you.
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Old 01-30-2011, 11:33 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Congrats on nineteen days sober!!
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Old 01-30-2011, 11:41 AM   #4 (permalink)
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congrats on 19 days...don't put yourself in unsafe situations, remember sobriety is your priority above all else...

well at least i hope it is...

good good work on 19 days
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Old 01-30-2011, 12:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Is it unusual that it doesnt bother me to be around them when they are drinking? It doesnt even cross my mind to order a beer or a drink, im perfectly content drinking soda water or a soda. I shared my struggles with one of my co-workers who delt with the same issue, and he put it best. "The salt has finally lost its salt taste" Maybe thats it?

Mike
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Old 01-30-2011, 12:15 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Is it unusual that it doesnt bother me to be around them when they are drinking? It doesnt even cross my mind to order a beer or a drink, im perfectly content drinking soda water or a soda. I shared my struggles with one of my co-workers who delt with the same issue, and he put it best. "The salt has finally lost its salt taste" Maybe thats it?

Mike
do what works for you...
i am just saying you probably won't always be in the strongest state of mind...
there may come the day when you really really want a drink and it would be alot safer if you weren't at a bar surrounded by people drinking at that time

keep up the good work

stay vigilant and listen to your inner voice

damn i sound so new agey
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Old 01-30-2011, 12:31 PM   #7 (permalink)
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damn i sound so new agey
Better than looking "old agey" like me!
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Old 01-30-2011, 01:08 PM   #8 (permalink)
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In my experience, alcoholics are strongly resolved to not drink in the beginning. Usually, it's driven by some sort of pain-- physical, emotional, legal-- that allows us to put the drink down and keep it down even when we're in alcohol-loaded settings.

But the disease of alcoholism usually does not allow that resolve to continue. As we feel better, the momentum we had begins to wane. But more importantly, the mental obsession to drink resurfaces. And then we have a "suddenly" moment-- almost without our knowledge, we're drinking again. Very rarely do people plan their relapses-- they happen almost instantaneously, in a moment when we are unable to summon the memory of our previous pain and discomfort. This is alcoholism-- we have lost power, choice and control, and have no defense against the first drink.

I drank after 11 years of being abstinent. 5 minutes before I drank, I was not considering it. It was not on my mind. Three days after I drank, I was trolling bad neighborhoods looking for drug dealers.

So, no, it's not unique to feel power over alcohol in early sobriety. But the disease of alcoholism is cunning, baffling and powerful. Not drinking does not treat the condition. It merely stops the topical chaos.

If you are able to stay stopped based on sheer willpower, you are not an alcoholic as defined by Alcoholics Anonymous. You are not powerless.

If you are unable to stay stopped, congratulations: you are. And boy, do we have a program for you.
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Old 01-30-2011, 03:30 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Hey Mike

I don;t want to put a downer on things - congratulations on your sober time ...but I think it's wise never to underestimate this thing...(not that I'm saying you are)

I nearly died...I was scared straight...but I still had thoughts and urges about drinking again down the track...mostly of the 'maybe I overreacted about all this - I've gone x months without drinking!' of course my first thought was then to drink up...

I'm not sure how I would have gone with those vulnerable times had I not made some pretty sweeping changes in my social life?

D
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Old 01-30-2011, 07:38 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Well about 2 weeks ago I gathered all my friends around and told them what was going on, when I was drinking, how much I was drinking and why I was drinking. Granted a lot of my friends from college are still heavy drinkers, but some are not. They all seem to think im over reacting and dont think I have a problem. I told them that I disagree and think its an issue with me. After that talk, I wanted to get some first hand advise. So I called my dad (been sober for almost 30 years) and asked him for his opinion. He said he knew that my drinking had increased quite a bit. However he also said that he doesnt think I got to the point where it was affecting my relationships or work...mainly just finances. He said I have always had an addictive personality but I have always know when to stop.

My response to him was that I agree, but I think this is different, I knew I should have stopped and I kept going out and partying and attending all these events. I told him I just took it way to far. He said that congratulations you realized what you didnt want to have happen in your life 10 years earlier than I did, but I still dont think you have a problem. You just learned a very valuable lesson in life about how fragile it is, and how easy it is to mess up. He said dont drink for a while and see if you can do it, start with a month and see if you get urges. He said if you start craving beer and keep looking forward to the 1 month ending, than yeah I would say you have a problem. He also asked me to fly down and meet him to go to a few meetings with him and see what other people have experienced and then think back about my situation and sit back and take everything in.

I told him about still going out with my friends to the party scene and he couldnt believe that I didnt want to drink when I was out. I mean I still have a good time when im out without the sauce, its just a different type of good time. I also told my dad about this site and how the good people on here were helping me out, im hoping he pops his head in sometime.

Thanx,

Mike
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Old 01-30-2011, 07:48 PM   #11 (permalink)
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If I listened to my friends and my family I'd probably still be drinking, Mike. Most of them said, if anything, I just needed to 'cut back for a while'....but none of them knew remotely what my life, and what my head, was like.

I believe we know, deep down, if we have a problem, and ours is the voice we need to listen to.

D
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Old 01-30-2011, 07:51 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Hey Mike. Congrats on the 19 days. I can say from first hand expeirience that I too had "easy times" at first. For me, the mental obsession has returned at times. I have not given in (59 days today) but I am very active in recovery and definitely don't put myself in positions where alcohol is right in front of me. We're all different so I'm not saying your program won't work, I'm just saying "hang around a barber shop long enough and eventually you'll get a haircut"...

I guess what I am saying is I agree with Dee... You're doing so great on 19 days, just guard your recovery. I have had 19 days in the past and then gave in to the mental obsession and then drank for 3 more years continuously... Recovery can be so fragile and we're just one little slip up from a future we don't want...

Again, great job on the 19 days... Keep it going!
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Old 01-30-2011, 08:18 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Good for you ...19 days!! I too had people in my family as well as friends that just insisted I could "just drink beer" or "just have one"...Amazing. Beer is still alcohol..may take me a bit longer to "get there" but it will do the trick. And "just have one" ARE YA KIDDIN ME????? No point in that..I drank to get drunk. Always on a mission. Listen to your inner voice..it seldom lies. No one knows you like you do! And you did good on this last bar go around..one of these times...you may find yourself with drink in hand and not even know it hit you. Glad you are here.
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Old 01-30-2011, 08:46 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Hi,

My personal experience is that people don't want us to be alcoholics. They want to spare us that, they don't want to have to adjust how they see and relate to us, so the tendency is to say we are overreacting. In my life, this has NOT been helpful!

I came to this realization of the severity of my drinking problem very reluctantly and agonized over it, so to have people minimize my experience was hard, especially when I was new to sobriety. I even had my doctor initially downplay it, even though I was honest with him about my alcohol intake and obsessions. He now understands that I was right, and he was wrong, and thank goodness I trusted my own instincts.

Congratulations on 19 days! Do take care of yourself, and keep posting.

D
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