61days sober. Almost bought wine yesterday out of depression - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 01-29-2011, 07:46 AM   #1 (permalink)
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61days sober. Almost bought wine yesterday out of depression


I have been depressed lately (not severe) so yesterday I thought well I will order takeout from a restaurant and while waiting have a nice glass of kendall jackson chard. Don't know why i am depressed. Maybe just haven't seen the sun FOREVER. I lived in florida for 21 yrs and now moved to ky for work. Anyway I did not drink. So glad I didn't!!!!!! I was too much in a crappy mood to get myself out of it. I know how I usually get on the treadmill. I made it through now today I see the sun so maybe I won't be too bad. I am off work for 8 days. Husband is still drinking which doesn't bother me too much because I hate the taste of beer. He was nice to me because I told him how depressed I felt and that I feel like buying wine. Anyway bla bla bla still 61 days sober today. Most days are easy to not drink but some days like yesterday I could care less if I drank. But this morning I AM SO F...ING GLAD I DIDN'T!!!
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Old 01-29-2011, 08:01 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Glad you didnt drink, I have 37 days and have actually bought a bottle of vodka, but ended up dumping it.
I have been having alot of bad days, I know its hard, but the feeling of not drinking is a lot better than the feeling when you do.
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Old 01-29-2011, 08:10 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Maybe just haven't seen the sun FOREVER.
"You never regret not drinking." That always held true for me - congrats on staying the course!

I bought this light at Costco for about $50:

Amazon.com: Verilux Natural Spectrum HappyLite Mini Ultra, Silver: Health & Personal Care

I keep it at my office and use it every morning until my lunch break and it seems to help tremendously during the winter months.
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Old 01-29-2011, 08:16 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Stay Strong bochuck.. we are behind you 100%
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Old 01-29-2011, 09:56 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I have been depressed lately (not severe) so yesterday I thought well I will order takeout from a restaurant and while waiting have a nice glass of kendall jackson chard. Don't know why i am depressed. Maybe just haven't seen the sun FOREVER. I lived in florida for 21 yrs and now moved to ky for work. Anyway I did not drink. So glad I didn't!!!!!! I was too much in a crappy mood to get myself out of it. I know how I usually get on the treadmill. I made it through now today I see the sun so maybe I won't be too bad. I am off work for 8 days. Husband is still drinking which doesn't bother me too much because I hate the taste of beer. He was nice to me because I told him how depressed I felt and that I feel like buying wine. Anyway bla bla bla still 61 days sober today. Most days are easy to not drink but some days like yesterday I could care less if I drank. But this morning I AM SO F...ING GLAD I DIDN'T!!!
Congratulations! Those "depressed" times are always the times I would relapse before I started working the 12 steps, got a sponsor, and a support system. It's easy not to drink when you're happy (in my case anyways). I was put on anti depressants when I first sobered up but decided to get off of them. I truly believe that the "depressed" times we get result from our body and brain still adjusting/coping to life without alcohol and drugs. The more times we get through those terrible times, the stronger we will be to take it on again in the (hopefully not near) future! just my two cents.
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Old 01-29-2011, 09:59 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Glad you didnt drink, I have 37 days and have actually bought a bottle of vodka, but ended up dumping it.
I have been having alot of bad days, I know its hard, but the feeling of not drinking is a lot better than the feeling when you do.
I had a lot of bad days for about the first 2-3 months of sobriety. Probably 70 percent of the days. Boy how I don't miss it! It will get better and life will be more manageable without your D.O.C. Now I have maybe a week of good days to 4 bad days which is improvement.
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Old 01-29-2011, 10:23 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I had a lot of bad days for about the first 2-3 months of sobriety. Probably 70 percent of the days. Boy how I don't miss it! It will get better and life will be more manageable without your D.O.C. Now I have maybe a week of good days to 4 bad days which is improvement.
I'd say I have a mild depression/anxiety issue, where I have been on and off of meds for the better part of 10 years. Currently not taking anything (meds, nicotine, alcohol) for the first time in as long as I can remember. It has been very difficult lately, yes I am happy about not being "on" anything, but the bouts of depression seem to be seeping in more than not. I'm almost at 3 months now --- and wondering if I should go back on anti-depressants? My issue the last time with this was that coming off of them was like = YouTube - Baby scene from Trainspotting
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Old 01-29-2011, 10:40 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Congratulations on not drinking! Today is 29 days for me and I must admit that I get that unbearable feeling of wanting to have my wine (my poison is cabernet) and a cigarette. Quit both at the same time. The urges usually last no more than 5 minutes at a time but those few minutes are hard.

You should be so proud of yourself! So glad you didn't have to waste today on a hangover and regret.
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Old 01-29-2011, 11:53 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I'd say I have a mild depression/anxiety issue, where I have been on and off of meds for the better part of 10 years. Currently not taking anything (meds, nicotine, alcohol) for the first time in as long as I can remember. It has been very difficult lately, yes I am happy about not being "on" anything, but the bouts of depression seem to be seeping in more than not. I'm almost at 3 months now --- and wondering if I should go back on anti-depressants? My issue the last time with this was that coming off of them was like = YouTube - Baby scene from Trainspotting
That's a personal issue.. how long have u been off of the meds?? I weened myself off slowly from 10 mgs and it was a horrible experience. I felt very depressed and questioned many times whether I should get back on them again. I also felt like I wanted to get high because of it but thankfully I didn't. Its a hard call. On one hand if you can fight through it and conquer it without meds that's great. On the other hand, many people have committed suicide or relapsed because they "quit taking their medicine". :/
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Old 01-29-2011, 04:43 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Glad you didn't cave bochuck - if your depression continues I hope you'll see a Dr.

As for meds, I think it's always a good rule of thumb to at least discuss things with your prescribing physician before coming off any med

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Old 01-29-2011, 04:44 PM   #11 (permalink)
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untoxicated I am going to look for one of those lights Thanks.
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Old 01-29-2011, 04:45 PM   #12 (permalink)
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glad you didn't pick up
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Old 01-29-2011, 10:58 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Good job, Bochuck! There's nothing like waking up without a hangover - that alone was a real motivator for me for several months. Things are always harder at night.

I had ups and down alot during the first 4 months of sobriety and then I felt like things leveled out a bit (and my energy started coming back, which was soooo nice). It's hard to get through the bad days, but the good days make it worth the effort. Hang in there!
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Old 01-29-2011, 11:42 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Glad you resisted....alcohol itself is a depressant...

How about treating yourself to a new hair cut .pedicure/manicure?
Wear brightly colored clothes ...scent...jewlery.
When I feel blue...those are some things I do...

If you feel antsy around booze and drinkers..I sure did for awhile
call in your dinner order...and just go pick it up if they don't deliver.
No waiting around being tempted.
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Old 01-30-2011, 06:38 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Good job Bochuck. The craziest thing about our disease, is it tells us we don't have a disease... Hang in there!
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Old 01-30-2011, 07:37 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Well done Bochuck on not giving in. I can tell you that I have some down days for all kinds of reasons and none of which are ever handled with drinking. Its called life which for me.....was put on hold during the years I drank and I found that each time I made it through that it strengthened me and furthered my resolve for this new life. I found that almost always it passed and I said to myself....Did I really get that upset over it?

Here is my suggestion though. I have ups/downs and then I have had periods where it didn't just go away. It was then that I reached out and amped up my support.

Agree with others that speaking to a Dr. is a good thing when you find the random down day turns into a tough period.

Just my thoughts on it but not drinking is the best gift you are giving yourself!

Way to go
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Old 02-01-2011, 09:38 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Old 02-01-2011, 10:39 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Great job not giving in, that should make you feel strong!

102 days for me - about once a week I have the mental discussion of going back to the poison, but I tell myself no matter how down I get, that would be giving up, which is not acceptable to me.

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Old 02-01-2011, 11:36 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Im proud of you! you can do it! Stay sober!
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Old 02-01-2011, 02:40 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I could of finished the rest of an almost ed finished Captain Morgan today.

It was at a friends house and it crossed my mind.

But than I thought. I cannot drink again, or I will make bad decisions or end up with big consequences.
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