igottobesober

I dumped it out though. I had agreat day went with my Pastor to lunch and visiting nursing homes. She is the first one I confided in a bout my drinking problem and has been my biggest supporter. We talked at lunch and I told her some stuff that I havent told anyone before and it felt good to talk about it at the time, but then when we went our seperate ways I felt scared that I told her that stuff. The stuff that I have kept buried by drinking the memories away.
Is this normal to feel this way, I have always had a wall and I feel like its coming down and I'm scared.
I bought the bottle and I called my Pastor and told her I bought it and she talked me into dumping it out. I did!!!

Dee74

I'm glad you dumped it out.

I did the same thing once in the early days - bought it and dumped it.

It's great you did that, but I took the fact that I'd actually bought it as a sign I really needed to look seriously and hard at what was happening with my recovery at that point - I hope you will too

D

Soberween

That same type of thing happened to me after I told my bestfriend all the sordid details about my drinking problem. The next day I felt a little panic ridden and wanted to take it all back. Once I talked to her and told her "I may have exaggerated a bit" (which I didn't...defense mechanism) those insecure feelings all melted away. She didn't care. She just wants me to be happy. Congrats and calling your pastor and facing it head on and in turn pouring that poison down the drain.

DrunkenBasement

Good for you for dumping that bottle out! Yes, it is normal to feel scared. I am on day 58 and just last week I was feeling all out of sorts. Down, scared, anxious... but this week I feel better. I think it is just normal to have ups and downs in early sobriety. I came to SR a lot and it helped. Others reassured me that the feeling was normal and to wait it out. You are feeling again... instead of numbing yourself with alcohol. It is normal to feel. You won't feet great all the time. That is life. Wait it out. Tomorrow you may feel different. Who knows? Keep up the good work on your 35 days... there will be more.

Anna

It's really hard to begin to deal with all the stuff that we've been hiding from. I am really glad you didn't drink. Now you know that you can get through this, and next time will be a bit easier.

Creekryder

A great display of courage. Bravo!

dairo

This website has almost brought a tear to my eye. People who have no idea who one another are, our backrounds, our beliefs, and all ya'll want to do is help one another, with no strings attached. This alone gives me great confidence in the human spirit, when I have been so down on it lately.

I can't but we can!!

DrunkenBasement

I know what you mean, dairo. It's amazing. This place is very different from other forums I've been a part of, where people are constantly criticizing and picking fights with each other and trying to be "right". That's not to say that people on SR don't disagree and sometimes stir things up a little, but overall, it is a very peaceful and eye-opening experience. Think what could be if the whole human race were like that!

Opivotal

Hi Igottobesober, I think it's normal to feel a little anxious about letting our secrets out. I'm glad you did. Keeping them hidden hampers our sobriety IMO. Good for you dumping the bottle too! Nice reaching out. Now you know what to do next time the thought of drinking enters your head.

Best Wishes To You!

Jayson434

Glad you dumped it ! My friend always goes back, and it kills me !! hes been sober for about 2 months as well now though so I hope you both don't look back !

Dumping it was GREAT

CarolD

I'm glad you enjoyed a productive day alcohol free

igottobesober

I had another bad day yesterday, but call my pastor and she talked me through it. today is 37 days.

igottobesober

Oh and Thanks for the support!!!

Danae

Congrats on 37 days!

newby1961

Hey there Igottobesober, I think it is so normal to be a bit paranoid after we tell secrets, especially at 35+ days sober. OMG no way could I have done that then. I waited a few years before I even trusted anyone, and even today with a little time behind me my negative diseased thinking can get to me, and tell me all sorts of nonsense. I would need another whole blog for that one lol. As far as throwing out the booze what that tells me anyway is you want to be sober more than you wanted to drink, and thats a good thing. Although for me it changes sometimes daily, at the begining hourly. I just wanted to share this with you guys and 1st I might add I would not suggest anyone do this even me. When my mom passed away 6/6/09 I was helping my dad with some of my moms clothes and in the closet there was a bottle of whiskey in a brown paper sack, the 1st thing I did was scream for my dad cause it freaked me out so bad. By the way my mom was 28 years sober when she died. So my dad said it had been in the closet for 25 years she bought it to remind herself of what she didn't want to go back to. I still don't understand cause no way can I even kid myself into thinking I could do that. That bottle would do nothing but taunt me till I either poured it out or drank it lol. Anyway just a memory of my mom I wanted to share, I miss her so much.
Have a great day all! Keep the Faith