SASA

Yesterday evening I got back some remarks from one of my aupervisors that really hurt me. I had written a report and followed and format my other supervisor had given me. After handing this report to the second supervisor, he told me the report is a mess and that the format was wrong and I should clean it up. I spent 5h doing this. While getting the news I talked to my room mate telling him how upset I was and he just told me to go to bed, sleep or stop complaining. I was so stressed, I wanted to drink. I mentioned it to him and he took out a bottle and put it in front of my nose telling me to feel free to do so. Unbelievable. Thank god Dee, you saved me, I asked myself, how will drinking improve the situation and obvious answer was it will not. So instead I ate the chocolate we had home. My roomate found this out and started yelling at me that I finished the chocolate without telling him. Then he stopped talking to me. This morning I went to work, I just came back and there he is asking me if I brought the computer for him with me, that he asked me to fix. I told him, no since I am still trying to work on the report and get that fixed. He then yelled at me that I can live in my own world and that I do not care about him and he locked himself in his room. I am so upset at the moment. just needed to vent. What would you do? I feel like I am so over this, I am so upset..... The good news is I am craving more chocolate......... no wine........ thats good right......... thanks for letting me vent

julez

Your roommate sounds rather childish..
In my opinion, being "yelled at" is something that shouldn't be tolerated..
Eat the chocolate, and let Mr. Crabby Pants get over it on his own.

least

Is this the 'roommate' you were talking about before? I'd kick his @ss out and let him yell at himself. Sheesh! Throw the bum out!

SASA

yes same roommate. I wish I could just trow him out. I am getting really close to finish with this person. I am just not there yet. I always feel like I need to save him from the world, but maybe some people should not be savedI just follow the rule not to change relationships during the 1st year. There is always the thought, I am an alcoholic, maybe its my perception. On other days he can be so charming and nice. Cooked tea while I was sick etc..... But than there are these days.

Julez, love that!. That's what I will do....... "Eat the chocolate, and let Mr. Crabby Pants get over it on his own." I think actually I will go and get one package right now. It's amazing how chocolate works.....

least

I don't think that 'rule' applies to damaging, unhealthy relationships!!! Throw the bum out!! It's not your job to 'save' him and it sounds like you need to save yourself... from bums like him! Get rid of him. Let him sink or swim on his own!! Good grief!! No way would I let a roommate in my own house dictate the rules to me or yell at me for anything!! Throw him out! For your own good!

CarolD

Time to get back to the business of ........... business

Did the 2nd person give you an outline of what is expected?


BTW...I did get out of a toxic relationship in early sobriety.
I thrived....he survived....

SASA

" Let him sink or swim on his own!! Good grief!! No way would I let a roommate in my own house dictate the rules to me or yell at me for anything!! Throw him out! For your own good!"
Least I am getting closer and closer. One day I will be rady. love the let him sink on his own, lol. I am just such a runover, a doormat to everybody. But I am learning to set boundaries and I am getting stronger. 3 month ago I would ahve taken the wine and drunk.......

Carol, I phoned the 2nd person yesterday evening, but could only get ahold of him this morning, he more or less told me it does not matter to him and that he is used to the other format thats why he likes it and does not want it changed. If I asked him what to do he told me I can either leave it as is or change it. Of course I got this in writing......
And yes I think I should get out of this relationship for a while. I phoned some friends and will go and visit them (all non drinkers) once I finished the report for 1 week. I spent to much time latly with people drinking or toxic (first christmas with my mom and brother and now the roommate). I am terrible dealing with people when they cause me stress and tell them to go ...... themself... I need to learn to do this, I can be very strickt to my cats, lol. I am thankful my humor returns.

spqr

The irony

notaloser

Time for a new roommate.

Anna

I'm sorry about the confusion/mess with the report at work and I hope you can straighten it out. You know that by dealing with this issue and not drinking, you are learning a lot.

And, btw, get rid of the roommate!

SASA

Anybody who thinks I should keep him as roommate? Anyone? For 1 For 2..........
And Yes Anna I agree, I really learned a lot on how to handle stress. Especially I realize I am more efficient dealing with stress if I listen to some relaxing tapes. I now always ask 1 if I drink will it help me. Obviously yesterday, I would have not finished anything. This way was definitly better. I also realize I am grwoing. I have more self confidence. I may not trow out my roommate, but I start standing up for myself. Also at work. Second I look way better and this gives me so much confidence. I do not need to hide. And 3rd I am going out with friends who do not drink so much (maybe 1 or2) and I feel better talking to them. They are really nice, supportive. I am still always wondering why people are so nice and helpful to me if I asked. I am always afraid to ask because I am afraid to be a burden....

Dee74

Great to hear you got through that.

I agree with just about everyone else tho - sometimes some changes need to be made for our benefit and continued good health...

I think it's time you let your friend find his own feet...preferably he'll find them hitting the pavement....

Hope you get the work situation sorted out