mrwaters

I guess this is a big first step by mentioning it as a problem. My drinking has become more and more isolated over the years. I'm 32 years old, engaged and I own a small business. In college I used to binge drink like crazy, in my early/mid 20's it was going out to the bars and then coming home and drinking more, late 20's and now early 30's it's at the point where i'm isolating myself my mancave and drinking until we run out of alcohol. usually it starts as very harmless social drinking watching a game or sometimes at dinner. then on my way home i'll purchase more alcohol and go to town. other times i just get an itching feeling like I NEED to drink and i'll tell my fiance i have to run out to the store for cigs or something and i'll pick up a few 20 oz cans and maybe a few nips. i'll have one in the driveway and then sneak the rest in. it's gotten a bit crazy lately which is why i'm here for help.

i can seem to go for 3-4 nights max without drinking at times and i get into a good pattern with the gym and then i ruin it by a night of drinking. i have this sense of entitlement like i should be allowed to do this but i've seen it have a negative impact on my life for too long now to continue this. hopefully joining this forum will be a good start. i drank a lot friday, felt really bad yesterday and did nothing and today i'm committed to stopping this rediculous cycle. i constantly lose full days of work and have missed opportunities due to this problem. i feel my business would be much further along without it and my personal life would be much happier and healthier.

i'm looking for advice. would love to connect with other people via email, chat, or IM when i'm feeling this urges to drink. any advice would be greatly appreciated.

BobGT

Hi mrwaters. SR is a good place for help with a drinking problem. Keep reading and posting. Also, there are usually people in the chat room here. I would recommend that you try it.

LexieCat

Hi, and welcome!

You're right to see what's going on as danger signs. In my experience, anyone who has reached the point where drinking is having increasingly negative consequences and where they are starting to conceal their drinking is best served by giving up drinking altogether--for good. Once I TRULY made the decision I was done with drinking forever, it wasn't that difficult. Everyone is different, and some people struggle more than others. For me, the finality of the decision removed all the struggle. It was only when I was trying to control the drinking that I was frustrated, feeling exhausted and like a failure.

Stick around--there is a lot of wisdom in these forums.

Incidentally, have you considered AA? It was (and remains) very, very helpful to me.

someguy71

Welcome to the forum!!! The members here are great. I was / am? a daily drinker. Used to go pretty heavy also. Only once per week did I go without. That was the hardest part. It wasn't by choice that I went without but because of my job. Then one member said if you can go 24 hours why not try for 27, 28 etc... That changed my mind and I took the challenge.

I was not easy, I had to check myself into ER once because of my symptoms. Now I am 88 hours without alcohol for the first time in about 20 years. If you can break that cycle for a few days normally I'll bet you can do it much longer and be alcohol free.
Always check with a doctor and ask others (close friends and family) for help. And of course the forum is here for you!!

HTH

mrwaters

i appreciate all the quick responses. it's great to see that there are others out there willing to relate and help. another thing i didn't mention is off and on over the years the drinking always lead to other things. abusing ritalin, xanax, pain meds or recently adderall at different times over the years. i would NEVER touch any of that stuff if sober. well, except for maybe the xanax because it allows me to relax without booze. this is another main reason why i want to stop. that type of behavior isn't consistent with the way i feel about myself personally while sober.

doggonecarl

that is exactly what I was doing when I got first got married. Thought my drinking would change; it didn't. Started to sneak out, drink in the garage, or on my way back from the store. My hiding my drinking and the guilt over it was the big exit sign for me to get off the road I was one. My bride didn't deserve a drunk for a husband. Sober since Sept 5th, and a better husband.

Welcome and good luck!

Juancho

Gosh your story sounds so familiar. I too am in my early 30's and own my own business. I decided it was time to quit drinking after I have received my 2nd DUI in a yrs time. I came real close to losing my business, due to my drinking. I am 7 months sober now and feel its the best decision I've ever made. I can now focus my time on my family and my business. Good luck on your sobriety mrwaters and keep posting.

mrwaters

doggonecarl and juancho, thank you both for your responses and sharing your stories. it's these types of interactions that make me realize that there are others out there like me that overcame it and became better people. just you being here responding to posts shows me that you guys have come a long way. thank you so much!

if i lost my license from a DUI i almost surely would lose my business. i'm very careful about the driving part but it still does affect my job from time to time. it's so easy without having a boss or a real schedule to jusitfy drinking because there's nothing on the calendar for the next day. my business would be 10 times further ahead right now if i wasn't getting hungover during the week. no more though, i'm done with that.

CarolD

Welcome.....

If you honestly want to quit...and find it impossible
you might want to check out your local AA.

That happened to me...and that is how I recovered.


All my best to the two of you

Dee74

Hi mrwaters

My drinking history was a progression too...you're wise to be concerned now and to do something about it.

You find a lot of support and encouragement here
Welcome!

D

04Hdcp

hey Mrwaters, welcome to SR.

My story is very similar to yours. I was a binge drinker that was advancing rapidly toward something worse and starting to drink more and more.

I guess I consider myself to be a "high bottom drunk". I too felt entitled to drink, I am very financially secure, own my own business, have the wife, 2 kids and dog, own my own house, belong to a private countryclub.

I realized I had a problem years earlier, it just took awhile to finally do something about it, I couldn't get myself to believe that anyone else could understand what I was going through.

It was then that I discovered AA, after speaking with a friend who helped me to stop drinking. AA was scary for me, I barely worked up the courage to walk in my first meeting, but what an eye opener it really was.

One thing I learned is that nobody can understand what you're going through except another drunk. At first I thought NO ONE was going to be able to understand, but in AA found that I am just like every other person in the rooms. Once you get past the fact that you are not entitled to drink and really have a disease, everything will make alot more sense.

I could go on and on about how better my life is now, as compared to when drinking, but I will let you figure that out for yourself.

I hope you continue the journey.... it definitely gets better.

PM me your email address if interested in chatting more.

Another

sounds to me like we shared very similar drinking habits. The best advice I can offer and what's worked for me is that you keep staying sober the #1 priority in your life and also study as much as you can here on SR. I found this site over a year ago and can tell you it is possible to stop the madness.

mrwaters

how do you thank people for posting? that's a great feature!

also, i wondered if others have experience with any type of counseling and what type of counselor one might recommend.

least

Welcome to SR! I see a counselor specializing in addiction and she's been very helpful over the last three years. I highly recommend it. As to thanking people's posts, just click the 'thanks' button at the bottom right of the post.

I quit drinking for good a year ago (finally) and my life is steadily getting better. Well, not my life directly, but how I deal with it. I'm so glad I quit and wish I'd done it sooner.

Dee74

just hit the thanks button there on the right at the bottom of every post mr w

D

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I did a LOT of the sneaking, hiding alcohol and lying. It became second nature, sad to say. As others have said, it does get worse unless you stop, and for me, it was a relief to just stop.

I tried an addiction counsellor and honestly, she was clueless. But, I know that a lot of people here have had good luck with counselling. And, don't forget SR is always a good place to visit for inspiration.

Danae

My take on any type of therapy (i haven't tried addiction counseling) is that it is to a degree an art, not a science. Some people are better at it than others, and you may take to one person's approach, but not another's.

The benefit to a good addiction counselor would seem to me that they know all the tricks, denials, etc and can help you navigate recovery. As with AA meetings, you may need to try more than one to find a good fit.

SR is a great resource, but a lot of people find face-to-face help valuable as well. Good luck!

mrwaters

My employee that I mentioned earier that was sober for 5 years recently disappeared for four days. It turned out to be a 4 day bender with substances involved as well I believe. This person is a great human being and I know that addiction is a disease. Any recommendations on how to handle the situation? The employee is back at home now but I have not communicated with the person yet. I want to be very sensitive of the situation. Still has a job, a friend and personal time if needed as far as I'm concerned.