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Old 01-20-2011, 07:13 AM
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New to this...

I could use any words of wisdom/advice. I need help but cannot cope with the withdrawals. No one knows of my addiction (hard for me even to write.) And no one close to me ever will. I have hid this demon well for a long time. Looking for support in how to stop, as I cannot (obviously) do it myself.

Desperate...
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Old 01-20-2011, 07:36 AM
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Welcome to the family. Are you addicted to alcohol or other drugs or both? Alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous so it's best to ask your doctor for help. If you have no doctor or aren't willing to go to your doctor you can go to the nearest ER and tell them you want to stop drinking and ask for help in getting safely thru the w/d.

Other addictions can be just as dangerous. Benzo w/d is a long process of being weaned off gradually.

No matter what you're addicted to, it's best to get medical advice and help in getting safely thru w/d. Once you're safely detoxed it's a good idea to have a support system in place, whether it's AA or NA or any of the other programs of sobriety. There is also inpatient rehab, outpatient programs, and addiction counseling. Any of these methods can be very helpful in staying sober.

You'll find a lot of support and useful information here. I hope we can help you as much as this site has helped me. I've got over a year sober now and don't regret a minute of it. I feel better than I have in a long time and am looking forward to a sober life for the rest of my days.




Here's a thread with many of our experiences in quitting alcohol.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
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Old 01-20-2011, 07:44 AM
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Hi and welcome to SR! You're in the right place.

I know you're scared of withdrawing and I agree, seek out medical help is possible.

...but think about it...if you truly want to get sober, you're going to have to withdrawel.

My advice is to go to AA or NA (not sure what your problem is) and seek out face-to-face contact with those who know how to get and stay sober.

...and post here often.

Be willing.
Be honest.
Be humble.

Kjell
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Old 01-20-2011, 07:53 AM
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Thank you all for the prompt posts. Alcohol seems to be my drug of choice. This week I have had to drink just to keep these terrible withdrawal symptoms at bay. I have been unable to leave my house all week. This is me being very candid and honest. I will not seek outside help as it would bring shame to my family. I do feel lonely and depressed as no one knows and I have to rely on help from family to help me with daily tasks and tell them I am sick (flu, etc) I need to stop...
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Old 01-20-2011, 08:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Roslyn View Post
I will not seek outside help as it would bring shame to my family
Roslyn - I say this with kindness, but that is your alcoholism talking.

Getting sober, getting better, and doing the right thing is not a shameful act.

Drinking "alcoholically" is. I say this from experience.
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Old 01-20-2011, 08:02 AM
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Wouldn't it bring something very bad to your family if you died from withdrawal? If you have to drink to stave off w/d you really need medical help to get thru it. Isn't there any way you can get medical help on your own? This is your life we're talking about here! The first time I experienced horrible w/d I had to call my mother to ask her to take me to the ER. She was very upset and crying but she got over it and I got better. Isn't your life worth it?
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Old 01-20-2011, 08:14 AM
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Hi and Welcome,

I hope that you will talk to your dr about your withdrawl symptoms. Detoxing from alcohol can be dangerous.

Please know that we understand how difficult this is.
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Old 01-20-2011, 08:15 AM
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Thank you everyone. I come from a prominent family and telling anyone is not an option. Did anyone quit on their own without outside help?
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Old 01-20-2011, 08:26 AM
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I must admit, the last (the very last) time I went thru w/d I was too embarassed to go back to the ER so I did it at home by myself. It took me several days before I felt human again, not shaking like a leaf and feeling like I was going to die. I did some research on alcohol w/d and did what I could do to be safe. I drank a lot of fluids, water, juice, gatorade, and ate food like soup and crackers that was 'easy' on my stomach. I rested as much as possible, even tho I couldn't sleep, and distracted myself with movies and this site.

Take a look at that link - quitting, what to expect - for the things we did during w/d from alcohol. I hope you can find some good advice there. Is there anyone who could stay with you for a few days? A good friend? Someone you trust? And please, if you have any problems or feel really badly, PLEASE get medical help.
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Old 01-20-2011, 08:32 AM
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I just read the link you posted. I need to conquer this solo. I will continue to be on this website today to help stay strong. This is the first time I have reached out and it feels great to know I am not alone...
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Old 01-20-2011, 08:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Roslyn View Post
I just read the link you posted. I need to conquer this solo. I will continue to be on this website today to help stay strong. This is the first time I have reached out and it feels great to know I am not alone...
I am in a similar but dissimilar situation. I hope you can pull through. These withdrawal symptoms can really kick your butt at times.

All the best! I hope we can do it!!
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Old 01-20-2011, 09:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Roslyn View Post
I could use any words of wisdom/advice. I need help but cannot cope with the withdrawals. No one knows of my addiction (hard for me even to write.) And no one close to me ever will. I have hid this demon well for a long time. Looking for support in how to stop, as I cannot (obviously) do it myself.

Desperate...
One of the greatest anchors we have to our illness is our secrets. Protect the secret, protect the illness.

Few are properly equipped to combat this insidious disorder alone, on their own. That is a fantasy fueled by the illness.

You wish to protect your anonymity. Your privacy. Your secret. Ever try changing something you deny that you have? Kind of a contradiction. Chemical dependency is full of them. Most people don't get past the realization that something must be done. In the fog and confusion of the illness, they continue the cycle that is killing them. This has nothing to do with low moral values or weakness of will. It is chemical dependency at it's finest. Taking it's final harvest.

Anonymous. denoting an organization which provides help to applicants who remain anonymous: Alcoholics Anonymous.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

What happens at AA, stays at AA. Who we see there, what we hear there, remains when we leave there.

My take on the cycle of chemical dependency, in this stage, where there is a recognition that some action must be taken, unfolds like this:

We will attempt to taper off. This will cause discomfort. Amplified by our non-existent threshold for discomfort. I mean, thats why we use, right? The discomfort has a built in safety mechanism that tells the brain that sufficient reason to use the chemical is present, and eminent damage will occur if the body does not ingest the chemical of choice immediately. All will be corrected if we use. This message from the brain can be triggered by such crisis as an overcast sky, or too bright of sunlight. We awaken with a renewed sense of guilt, shame, remorse. And try it again. Or maybe not.

Few people quit with the motivation that they can become a better citizen. Most are motivated by the pain that goes along with the lifestyle. There is nothing funny about the amount of pain that is required to overcome the pride and ego, and accept help. Especially when other options are available.
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Old 01-20-2011, 09:05 AM
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Seems to be alot of AA stuff on the boards lately...isn't there a forum for that??
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Old 01-20-2011, 09:10 AM
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Why I thank you, I am just not so sure about AA. Protect the secret...protect the illness rings true
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Old 01-20-2011, 09:13 AM
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Originally Posted by loveon2legs View Post
Seems to be alot of AA stuff on the boards lately...isn't there a forum for that??
Simply b/c there are a lot of people who use AA.
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Old 01-20-2011, 09:27 AM
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You aren't alone, Roslyn. I JUST recently came clean with my significant other. I thought it would be the end of us. I thought shame would ring through the house. You know what? It didn't. Anyone who truly loves us will find a way to be supportive. They'll want us to be better, not hide. They'll want us to get help, not suffer in silence. They'll want us to live, not exist.
Good luck. Maybe you can do it alone and maybe you'll find that you can't. I know I tried it alone over and over and over again without success. This time I'm taking steps to get the support I need. I hope it makes the difference.
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Old 01-20-2011, 09:39 AM
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I feel A LOT of shame and guilt. How long did it take you to come "clean?"
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Old 01-20-2011, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Roslyn View Post
I feel A LOT of shame and guilt. How long did it take you to come "clean?"
Getting sober, staying sober, and living sober and all that comes along with it is a lifelong process, including coming "clean".

I would concern yourself with yourself and your recovery. Everything else will fall into place.
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Old 01-20-2011, 11:34 AM
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Welcome....

Please don't hesitate to get outside medical help with de toxing.
it's a serious medical issue.
I understand you don't want to....and hope you won't need to
but it's so risky.

Please read this link....it might be helpful for you

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

All my best
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Old 01-20-2011, 12:30 PM
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You don't say how long you've been drinking, but if it's for any significant length of time, your family probably knows more than you think they do. If you haven't been drinking long and you continue to drink (supposing you are alcoholic), they'll eventually catch on. Alcoholism is chronic, progressive, and fatal if not arrested. I'd say there's a whole lot more potential shame in others finding out while you're drinking than in when you're recovering.

As for your concerns that you're from a prominent family--in AA meetings, I have met doctors and lawyers, teachers and school principles, heirs to considerable fortune, even one person who is world-renown in his field (and that's all I'll say about that). My own husband is an attorney who was serving on the school board when he went to rehab--and then finished his term when he returned without incident. Alcoholism doesn't respect your prominence in the community. It more or less levels the playing field. My husband's sponsor was a bank executive who, at the end of his drinking, was living in his car. Lots of other folks make it to us before they have lost that much, and some go back out until alcohol beats them into submission.

AA is discussed in the newcomer's forum because it works, so long as the newcomer brings the willingness. It works, as my friend John likes to say, for those living on the park bench as well as those living on Park Avenue.

I hope you do what you need to get sober, Roslyn. If you find out you can't do it alone, SR may be enough. If SR isn't enough, AA will welcome you. Most all of us have had issues with pride. Some put it aside to get sober and others wait until we just don't have any left. I hope you're one of the former.

Peace & Love,
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