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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 426
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Hello. I am fairly new to this site, and have spent most of my time here reading rather than writing. Chiming in now because after reading a bunch of posts over the past couple of weeks, I was struck by the amount of folks posting here who question whether or not they are truly alcoholic and what that even means - admittedly, this is a query I frequently pose to myself, tho ultimately I'd have to say there are far more compelling arguments in favor than in protest of that diagnosis in my case. However, this doesn't stop that never ending inner debate from churning (an obsession in its own right)...
I've lately found it more helpful to disengage entirely from that circle of thought, worry less about the labeling, and focus simply on consequence - to remember the instances of pain, regret, shame, etc. that would not have occurred (or at the least, would likely have occurred quite differently) were drinking not a factor. I spent an afternoon jotting down the key examples and have kept this list fresh in my mind and close in proximity, physically, to return to when I find myself questioning, again, the course of action I need to take in regard to sobriety. It's incredibly powerful to quickly scan through that roadmap of horror, line by line in plain English, and conclude that I would literally do anything not to repeat those mistakes.
I've lately found it more helpful to disengage entirely from that circle of thought, worry less about the labeling, and focus simply on consequence - to remember the instances of pain, regret, shame, etc. that would not have occurred (or at the least, would likely have occurred quite differently) were drinking not a factor. I spent an afternoon jotting down the key examples and have kept this list fresh in my mind and close in proximity, physically, to return to when I find myself questioning, again, the course of action I need to take in regard to sobriety. It's incredibly powerful to quickly scan through that roadmap of horror, line by line in plain English, and conclude that I would literally do anything not to repeat those mistakes.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi and welcome to SR!
When I joined SR I was pretty sure I was an alcoholic...after reading all the debate here about what an alcoholic was I decide f*** it...I don't care whether I am or not...what I choose to be is a sober person...that's the label I can embrace and love
Xoxo, LaFemme
When I joined SR I was pretty sure I was an alcoholic...after reading all the debate here about what an alcoholic was I decide f*** it...I don't care whether I am or not...what I choose to be is a sober person...that's the label I can embrace and love
Xoxo, LaFemme
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Sounds to me you are on the right track in your thinking Noble!!! All that matters to me is I am sober now. And when you compare sobriety to drunkeness...Sobriety WINS!! Glad you are here..Welcome.
31/10/10
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 241
Great post - thanks. I fully agree about the uselessness of labelling and high or low bottoms (mine's a big one). It doesn't really help my recovery
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We think we have a problem with alcohol. So we probably do. Quantities don't matter, consequences don't matter. For me, the defining aspect of my drinking (the reason I choose to live sober) is the obsession and the loss of control when I start (this includes hangovers, feelings of guilt and shame etc).
Vee
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We think we have a problem with alcohol. So we probably do. Quantities don't matter, consequences don't matter. For me, the defining aspect of my drinking (the reason I choose to live sober) is the obsession and the loss of control when I start (this includes hangovers, feelings of guilt and shame etc).
Vee
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
I hated the label for a long time, and would deny it as much as I could. But as time went by and the more I denied the more my problem progressed. The thing that helped me stop eventually became embracing the same label that I detested. Funny how that works.
By embracing and admitting to the label it made my problem black and white instead of a shade of gray.
By embracing and admitting to the label it made my problem black and white instead of a shade of gray.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Good post! (and nice response, Supercrew!)
One thing I love about sobriety is not having to deal with those questions (and all the other obsessive thoughts re alcohol). It was all about whether I could have another, how to get more, how to get rid of the empties, is anyone noticing, and of course: why do I do this to myself?) I may not be like every other alcoholic, but I took it way too far anyway.
Glad you're here and welcome to the forum!
One thing I love about sobriety is not having to deal with those questions (and all the other obsessive thoughts re alcohol). It was all about whether I could have another, how to get more, how to get rid of the empties, is anyone noticing, and of course: why do I do this to myself?) I may not be like every other alcoholic, but I took it way too far anyway.
Glad you're here and welcome to the forum!
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