NEOMARXIST

My story is one of excess. I would be interested to know of the others on SR who can relate to the alcohol being the primary problem but also drugs also being a big part of their binging? I think that they must be out there and with the drugs it wasn't so much much self-medicating to the extent of booze I guess because there was also a lot of the hedonism element there too, you know like tripping and all that. The primary drugs I used were BZP, ecstacy, Cocaine, LSD, Speed, Cannabis + other stuff like LSA contained in Hawain baby woodrose seeds that I could mail order.

I know for me then it can be hard at times to think about not being able to use these drugs especially when I see stuff of various young people at raves or clubs. For me I know that most pill-heads medicated their comedowns with weed but for me then I always preffered medicating with booze and using booze to knock me out to sleep. I also know that would never change with me and a night out doing MDMA would end up in me not wanting the comedown and just drinking myself to sleep over probably a binge of 3 days, it would end in tears...

I know that, I accept myself as an addict but not in the sense of what is common at NA ie- daily habitual heroin users.

I was just interested in how many others can relate as it seems like in UK then they ain't out there, maybe that's because they're still out getting mashed?

I guess for me then I always used alcohol with drugs pretty much, although many say they prefer certain drugs without booze's influence I always liked the booze on top + I liked it because it made me not care and so lose any paranoia (take the edge off). I was always a love of booze first and foremose though, although I was also bang into drugs and tripping and all that.

I guess just because I accepted I am alcoholic and addict doesn't mean that I am some sort of 'sergeant safety' who can't relate, far from it.

I guess it's just one of those things. For me then I know I would drink again if I ever took drugs, it's just it can seem a bit hard to relate at times as finding people who got sober and was into drugs other than heroin/crack is difficult - probably because they wern't alcoholics so they just grew out of it naturally or whatever and just spend a night tripping as a special treat. ha-ha. For me then it would never be like that but I would be drinking round the clock on a mad binge.

Just wondering that's all.

Peace

sailorjohn

I don't identify as an addict because alcohol was always my doc and my 'first love'.

Cannabis-in all it's varieties, heroin, cocaine-thank God crack wasn't around in my youth-opium, hallucinogenics, at the end of my drinking career discovered pharmaceuticals, if you dropped 5 vicodins at once it was like smack, complete with the barf. Anything to get high.

It was always the alcohol though, always. Legal, accepted socially.

I may be clean and sober, but at the meetings I'm simply a sober alcoholic.

ACT10Npack

Sorry NEOMARXIST, but I can't relate with you because I could never take pills and boozes at the same time. I never like taking pills even if my doctor gave it to me. If I took any meds then I would not drink. I was too scared of what would happen if I pass out and don't wake up again.

Dee74

I used a lot of drugs in my time but always whatever was around - a lot of things I used once and a lot of things I didn't much like...the only constants in my life were booze, weed, and cigarettes.

I'm the generation after disco and before the rave scene so I never really got into clubbing tho.

I'm not worried about labels tho or what others consider me to be or where I fit in - I just reckon I used a lot of things, and they all feed the same void, and they all put me on my butt.

Details may vary, but I think everyone can relate to that.

D

AmericanGirl

Hi Neo!

Though my experience isn't exactly the same as yours, I do relate on many levels. I'm in my late twenties now and for many years, in addition to drinking, I took a lot of drugs. Pretty much everything except heroin, which I never tried. So, had I seen your post five years ago, when I was still doing a ton of drugs, I would have said "yes" to this.

But my drug use tapered as I hit my mid-twenties. I got really sick of drugs, basically. I guess my experience with drugs was like a lot of people's experience with alcohol -- they could "Grow out of it." But this isn't entirely true, because I did still abuse SOME drugs on occasion -- pot and other people's prescription drugs -- up until right when I quit drinking. This happened rarely, opportunistically, often without me seeking it out.

Like you say, the relationship between the two is tricky, and fundamentally based probably in hedonism and a desire to mess with my system recklessly for the highs/whatever. Back when I started trying drugs, I was also simply really curious to try mind-altering substances, like a lot of teenagers are.

I used to think drugs were scarier, and more potentially harmful, than alcohol -- which turned out in my experience to be an incorrect assumption. In the end, alcohol was the problem and what really harmed ME, at least, more than anything else ever did.

I don't and won't use any drugs ever again, because I see life differently now, and don't want any substance abuse in my life, and I also think it would be possible to transfer addictions. Still, in all honesty, I have always felt that there is something in my chemical make-up that makes me particularly sensitive to alcohol addiction (as opposed to cocaine, for example, which I would do but mostly just to be able to stay up drunk). So, I relate to what you say as far as feeling that alcohol was the primary problem.

So, I'm not sure if this helps, but wanted you to know that yes, I related to your post.

Dee74

closed by request.
D