The thought of drinking is back
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hugs for hanging in there, reggie.
This place has saved me many times. Those urges/thoughts can hit hard and before we got sober, we would just "automatically" go get that drink. We're breaking the addiction now, one urge at a time. And you know what they say: Practice makes perfect.
There's lot of days I'm not particularly happy, but I'm learning to accept those times and the moods of life. I'm so proud of you for posting - you've helped me tonight by staying strong.
This place has saved me many times. Those urges/thoughts can hit hard and before we got sober, we would just "automatically" go get that drink. We're breaking the addiction now, one urge at a time. And you know what they say: Practice makes perfect.There's lot of days I'm not particularly happy, but I'm learning to accept those times and the moods of life. I'm so proud of you for posting - you've helped me tonight by staying strong.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Tokyo
Posts: 3
I too get those feelings,
I'm at about 2 months no drink at present, and I always get little whispers and think about the good times on drink but I always think about the bad times too and what I did/lost/broke/ and this brings me back to reality again.
Its a fog but it soon clears up.
I went out on Friday for the first time in 2 months.
Played darts at my pub with the boys and there were some serious pizz heads in there on that night (leaving party) and it just reinforced my desire to not behave like those guys.
I used to be like them......
Its great fun if you can moderate it...unfortunately I can't moderate it. And I won't kid myself in thinking I can anymore.
Hang in there geezer!
All is not lost!
I'm at about 2 months no drink at present, and I always get little whispers and think about the good times on drink but I always think about the bad times too and what I did/lost/broke/ and this brings me back to reality again.
Its a fog but it soon clears up.
I went out on Friday for the first time in 2 months.
Played darts at my pub with the boys and there were some serious pizz heads in there on that night (leaving party) and it just reinforced my desire to not behave like those guys.
I used to be like them......
Its great fun if you can moderate it...unfortunately I can't moderate it. And I won't kid myself in thinking I can anymore.
Hang in there geezer!
All is not lost!
Last edited by Tokyo; 01-15-2011 at 06:51 PM. Reason: a man punched my pet shark
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Originally Posted by Kjell 
Ok Reggie, you mentioned going to a meeting. I'm assuming you're in AA then, right?
Let's get to it then. You've prob not completed the steps if you're still having a mental obssesion to drink, right?
What step are you on? What's your sponsor say about this?
Let's get to it then. You've prob not completed the steps if you're still having a mental obssesion to drink, right?
What step are you on? What's your sponsor say about this?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NY
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hi Reggie
yeah - this is your addiction whispering in your ear.
Noone wants to be an alcoholic. Noone wants the responsibility of vigilance and maintenance. Noone wants to be set apart from their friends and neighbours.
But if you want to keep enjoying the kind of life, the kind of freedom, the kind of self respect and peace you know sobriety brings you - then you also know the price to pay for that.
It's a pretty paltry price tho Reggie - don't do something that destroys you.
Well
. No brainer.
It's a pittance to ask really when I look at what my life is like now to what it was like then.
Don't throw that away Reggie - go right back and read your old posts if you need to.
Don't get complacent - get proactive...if you have numbers call them, now...if you have a meeting...go to it.
Post here, read here.
You've come a long way man - don't turn back now
D
yeah - this is your addiction whispering in your ear.
Noone wants to be an alcoholic. Noone wants the responsibility of vigilance and maintenance. Noone wants to be set apart from their friends and neighbours.
But if you want to keep enjoying the kind of life, the kind of freedom, the kind of self respect and peace you know sobriety brings you - then you also know the price to pay for that.
It's a pretty paltry price tho Reggie - don't do something that destroys you.
Well
. No brainer.It's a pittance to ask really when I look at what my life is like now to what it was like then.
Don't throw that away Reggie - go right back and read your old posts if you need to.
Don't get complacent - get proactive...if you have numbers call them, now...if you have a meeting...go to it.
Post here, read here.
You've come a long way man - don't turn back now
D
:
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Time to get busy ...back to basics...step 1 Reggie...
You have not been feeling well...so naturally you are
thinking that drinking is going to improve your situation.
...remember why you desired to quit .and focused.
I've been watching sports sober for a long time....sometimes with
fellow AA members....sometimes alone.
Sorry ...I don't buy into the ggame=beer idea.
You have not been feeling well...so naturally you are
thinking that drinking is going to improve your situation.
...remember why you desired to quit .and focused.I've been watching sports sober for a long time....sometimes with
fellow AA members....sometimes alone.
Sorry ...I don't buy into the ggame=beer idea.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Originally Posted by reggiewayne
Hi Kjell. I am on step 6 right now. I have been working with my sponsor who definitely has what I want. I didn't call him today because I know he's out of town w/ family. That was the reason I posted my thoughts here. You guys are kind of like my co-sponsors...
From one aa'er, to another, maybe kick it up a notch in your step work.
Chair a meeting. Call a few of your AA friends.
Congrats on posting here, on being on step 6 (that's a very important one), and for just having a sponsor and working the steps.
You're on your way! Keep up the good work.
...and one way for us to always feel better about being sober. Help someone else. It works every single time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Upstate NY, in the Adirondacks
Posts: 232
Maybe AA or whatever meetings you are going to are not working for you? There are online programs, as a woman I use womanforsobriety.org, and it is great! There is smart recovery and some others. I found that accepting that I can never drink again freed me so much!! I just cannot do it, it screws up my brain too much. So think about why you quit, and why you want to drink again, and see if it is worth going back to your worst drunks. Because you will be there soon if you are anything like me,
Peace,
nancy
Peace,
nancy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Hi Reggie, I just wanted to say thanks for your thread.
I've been having some similar thoughts recently - just one or two beers wouldn't do much harm.... I looked back in my recovery diary to last October, a Day 25 when I was feeling much the same. On that occasion I had a couple of pints in a charming riverside pub. I quote:
"Followed 10 days of drinking white rum (really makes me stink). Sleep patterns horrendous, drunk for work phone conference and personal calls, vomiting, missing meals, in pain, so depressed."
I was actually quite shocked to read this. How quickly we forget. I'll not be drinking today, that's for sure.
I've been having some similar thoughts recently - just one or two beers wouldn't do much harm.... I looked back in my recovery diary to last October, a Day 25 when I was feeling much the same. On that occasion I had a couple of pints in a charming riverside pub. I quote:
"Followed 10 days of drinking white rum (really makes me stink). Sleep patterns horrendous, drunk for work phone conference and personal calls, vomiting, missing meals, in pain, so depressed."
I was actually quite shocked to read this. How quickly we forget. I'll not be drinking today, that's for sure.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: BC
Posts: 161
I like to think of addiction like this...
You have 2 voices inside your head, when it comes to addiction. There is you, who is a smart, kind person, who knows drinking is bad, and who doesn't want to drink anymore because the fallout of drinking is too much to handle. Then there's the addict in you. It cares nothing of you, it doesn't care about your feelings, or anyone elses feelings. All it cares about is getting its fix, and its fix is alcohol.
Here's where it gets tricky. Your addictive voice will put on masks, and lead you to believe that its you who wants to drink, not it. It will do anything to get its fix. It will tell you how much of a loser you are, how you'll never stop drinking, or it will tell you that you've done good, that you've been sober for x amount of time and that you deserve it. These are the obvious ways it will try to get you to drink. The more subtle ways are the ones you have to watch out for.
When the addictive voice is louder than you're sober voice, that's when you are in the danger zone. Don't let that voice take over. Recognize it for what it is, and just let it go. Don't reason with it, don't accept it, don't give it the time of day. When it gets loud, tell it to shut up and leave. By simply being aware of it, it disappears. When you are on auto-pilot and unaware of it, you will ALWAYS believe it is you who is the one that wants to drink, not it.
You have 2 voices inside your head, when it comes to addiction. There is you, who is a smart, kind person, who knows drinking is bad, and who doesn't want to drink anymore because the fallout of drinking is too much to handle. Then there's the addict in you. It cares nothing of you, it doesn't care about your feelings, or anyone elses feelings. All it cares about is getting its fix, and its fix is alcohol.
Here's where it gets tricky. Your addictive voice will put on masks, and lead you to believe that its you who wants to drink, not it. It will do anything to get its fix. It will tell you how much of a loser you are, how you'll never stop drinking, or it will tell you that you've done good, that you've been sober for x amount of time and that you deserve it. These are the obvious ways it will try to get you to drink. The more subtle ways are the ones you have to watch out for.
When the addictive voice is louder than you're sober voice, that's when you are in the danger zone. Don't let that voice take over. Recognize it for what it is, and just let it go. Don't reason with it, don't accept it, don't give it the time of day. When it gets loud, tell it to shut up and leave. By simply being aware of it, it disappears. When you are on auto-pilot and unaware of it, you will ALWAYS believe it is you who is the one that wants to drink, not it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Originally Posted by Forwards
Hi Reggie, I just wanted to say thanks for your thread.
I've been having some similar thoughts recently - just one or two beers wouldn't do much harm.... I looked back in my recovery diary to last October, a Day 25 when I was feeling much the same. On that occasion I had a couple of pints in a charming riverside pub. I quote:
"Followed 10 days of drinking white rum (really makes me stink). Sleep patterns horrendous, drunk for work phone conference and personal calls, vomiting, missing meals, in pain, so depressed."
I was actually quite shocked to read this. How quickly we forget. I'll not be drinking today, that's for sure.
I've been having some similar thoughts recently - just one or two beers wouldn't do much harm.... I looked back in my recovery diary to last October, a Day 25 when I was feeling much the same. On that occasion I had a couple of pints in a charming riverside pub. I quote:
"Followed 10 days of drinking white rum (really makes me stink). Sleep patterns horrendous, drunk for work phone conference and personal calls, vomiting, missing meals, in pain, so depressed."
I was actually quite shocked to read this. How quickly we forget. I'll not be drinking today, that's for sure.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Originally Posted by northland
I like to think of addiction like this...
You have 2 voices inside your head, when it comes to addiction. There is you, who is a smart, kind person, who knows drinking is bad, and who doesn't want to drink anymore because the fallout of drinking is too much to handle. Then there's the addict in you. It cares nothing of you, it doesn't care about your feelings, or anyone elses feelings. All it cares about is getting its fix, and its fix is alcohol.
Here's where it gets tricky. Your addictive voice will put on masks, and lead you to believe that its you who wants to drink, not it. It will do anything to get its fix. It will tell you how much of a loser you are, how you'll never stop drinking, or it will tell you that you've done good, that you've been sober for x amount of time and that you deserve it. These are the obvious ways it will try to get you to drink. The more subtle ways are the ones you have to watch out for.
When the addictive voice is louder than you're sober voice, that's when you are in the danger zone. Don't let that voice take over. Recognize it for what it is, and just let it go. Don't reason with it, don't accept it, don't give it the time of day. When it gets loud, tell it to shut up and leave. By simply being aware of it, it disappears. When you are on auto-pilot and unaware of it, you will ALWAYS believe it is you who is the one that wants to drink, not it.
You have 2 voices inside your head, when it comes to addiction. There is you, who is a smart, kind person, who knows drinking is bad, and who doesn't want to drink anymore because the fallout of drinking is too much to handle. Then there's the addict in you. It cares nothing of you, it doesn't care about your feelings, or anyone elses feelings. All it cares about is getting its fix, and its fix is alcohol.
Here's where it gets tricky. Your addictive voice will put on masks, and lead you to believe that its you who wants to drink, not it. It will do anything to get its fix. It will tell you how much of a loser you are, how you'll never stop drinking, or it will tell you that you've done good, that you've been sober for x amount of time and that you deserve it. These are the obvious ways it will try to get you to drink. The more subtle ways are the ones you have to watch out for.
When the addictive voice is louder than you're sober voice, that's when you are in the danger zone. Don't let that voice take over. Recognize it for what it is, and just let it go. Don't reason with it, don't accept it, don't give it the time of day. When it gets loud, tell it to shut up and leave. By simply being aware of it, it disappears. When you are on auto-pilot and unaware of it, you will ALWAYS believe it is you who is the one that wants to drink, not it.
Most of my 45 days have been good. I can honestly only remember about 7 days that have been difficult. But, those difficult days have kicked my assss.... I'm so glad I didn't drink. I spoke to a buddy of mine today and he was telling me how he got shnitfaced last night and had to take a cab home and has a headache, etc... I know I don't want to live that way and my history has proven to me beyond any doubt that for me to drink any amount of alcohol will land me right back to where I was or worse. A fifth of whiskey followed by a tremendous hangover, followed by xannax to calm my nerves, followed by sleeping the next day away, followed by praying to god I don't die in my sleep from complecation's with booze and xanax... etc...
I DON'T WANT THAT LIFE! The only way I can get that life back is to drink. If I don't drink, that stuff simply doesn't happen to me. Thanks again!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: BC
Posts: 161
I know what you're saying reggie. I go on binges, and by the end of it, I'm a wreck emotionally, and I physically feel like I'm going to die. I start panicking, have trouble sleeping because I'm afraid I'll die in my sleep because I'm so f'ed up. Oh man what a disaster.
Another thing to be aware of...
You must always be mindful that you do have a sober voice, and an addictive voice. Once you lose that awareness, the 2 voices fuse as one, and you are unaware that their is a difference between what you want and what the addict part of your brain wants. You start listening to those thoughts about drinking, you start reasoning with those thoughts, and you start making excuses to drink. You think its your sober voice doing the talking, but its not. You'd be surprised how much of the negative talk in your mind is the addictive voice doing whatever it can to get you to drink.
Another thing to be aware of...
You must always be mindful that you do have a sober voice, and an addictive voice. Once you lose that awareness, the 2 voices fuse as one, and you are unaware that their is a difference between what you want and what the addict part of your brain wants. You start listening to those thoughts about drinking, you start reasoning with those thoughts, and you start making excuses to drink. You think its your sober voice doing the talking, but its not. You'd be surprised how much of the negative talk in your mind is the addictive voice doing whatever it can to get you to drink.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 68
I think at some point too though you should try to get it through your head that the fun of going to the bar for your non alcoholic friends is the friendship and the football game, not the beer.
You might be surprised how much you actually enjoy that type of thing more without alcohol. I haven't tried to avoid situations like that and can honestly say I've had a much better time sober. Actually being in the conversation, actually watching the football game, actually remembering the second half, being fun to be around and not being an *******. The first time I did something like that it was shocking how i couldn't tell anyone else was drinking because their behavior didn't change like mine would when drinking. In my head when I was drinking, everyone was as wild and crazy as me but that was just not reality.
Obviously if your friends are all alcoholics trying to drink themselves under the table that would be different.
You might be surprised how much you actually enjoy that type of thing more without alcohol. I haven't tried to avoid situations like that and can honestly say I've had a much better time sober. Actually being in the conversation, actually watching the football game, actually remembering the second half, being fun to be around and not being an *******. The first time I did something like that it was shocking how i couldn't tell anyone else was drinking because their behavior didn't change like mine would when drinking. In my head when I was drinking, everyone was as wild and crazy as me but that was just not reality.
Obviously if your friends are all alcoholics trying to drink themselves under the table that would be different.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
With over a year sober my thoughts of drinking are few and far between. But when they do pop up I have had enough (too many) relapses to know that for me, there's no such thing as "just a few".
So I just ignore the addict voice and go on about my business.
So I just ignore the addict voice and go on about my business. New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
I often remind myself of what a normal drinker looks like.
So if I do get tempted to have 'just a few' it's that a normal drinker...
- wouldn't agonize about it.
- They might stop at one.
- They might say something like "I'm so thirsty - I'll just get a water for now".
- They might sit out a round because they're not done with their drink.
- They might be as happy to meet at Starbucks as at a bar.
I have never (and will never) be like that. So when the urge to have 'just a few' comes along... I can run through those facts in my head and realize that I don't want to drink 'like a normal person' at all. I mean what's the point? For a normal drinker there seems to be little difference between a beer and a coke. Until I get to that point (ie - never) it's just a really bad idea for me to drink.
So if I do get tempted to have 'just a few' it's that a normal drinker...
- wouldn't agonize about it.
- They might stop at one.
- They might say something like "I'm so thirsty - I'll just get a water for now".
- They might sit out a round because they're not done with their drink.
- They might be as happy to meet at Starbucks as at a bar.
I have never (and will never) be like that. So when the urge to have 'just a few' comes along... I can run through those facts in my head and realize that I don't want to drink 'like a normal person' at all. I mean what's the point? For a normal drinker there seems to be little difference between a beer and a coke. Until I get to that point (ie - never
) it's just a really bad idea for me to drink.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
Nobody ever said that this was easy. You have a couple of choices here - go to a meeting, call someone perhaps, gut it out alone, or take that drink. But if you're down now, how do you think you're gonna feel after you start drinking again? Then you have to face the misery of withdrawal and start this road to sobriety all over again. Do you really want that? Trust me on this as I've been there. This urge you have will pass. And the urges get easier to handle every time you fight one off. So as I said, you have some choices. Think carefully before you decide which to make.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
