KellySad

So, on break this afternoon, I discussed the 20 Questions with my buddy, to see if her husband is an alkie.

She said he would answer to 18.

I gave her a meeting list for Toronto meetings, up here in Canada - he wouldn't take it...he said that he refused to "hang out with low lifes".

It's too bad - I would have brought him to a meeting.

Kelly

Anna

I think it's best to not judge others and to let them follow their own path.

yeahgr8

It's his choice, you have done as much as you can...most alcoholics/addicts never really break the cycle of addiction and live screwed up lives, concentrate on you and make sure you aren't one of the 90 odd percent who don't make it...once again you have done all you can and reached out which is good work:-)

northland

This is true. The majority of people addicted are in denial that they have a problem, or simply aren't willing to do something about it. If he doesn't want the help, don't force it on him. He has to make his own decisions

ArtDeco454

It's not up to us to point fingers to decide who is & isn't an alcoholic...our eyes need to stay focused on our own lives. Some of those 20 questions are pretty vague anyway. She shoudn't answer for her husband.

VeeTee

I'd like to agree here - we shouldn't identify others as alkies. I have some friends who drink more than I did - but they keep their lives together, they don't seem riddled by guilt and shame. I'd never dare to propose to them that they might have a drinking problem like I do. Maybe they are just heavy drinkers and will stop when something in their lives changes.

But, if I ever hear them utter that they wan't to stop drinking, that they don't like what alcohol is doing to them, I'll tell what I know.

This disease progesses at different speeds with different people. They might be able to live happily and not really be affected negatively by the disease.

I can't and I think most of here can't, either. That's why we are here.

So keep up the good work everyone
vee

VeeTee

Kelly - sorry, didn't really respond to your post. What you could do is tell this guy that you go to AA - that might make him rethink his ideas more than anything else (assuming you feel ok with saying that. I'm still a little cagey about telling people I don't know very well about my going to AA.

vee

Kmber2010

Kelly I agree with the others here. I just focus on me and if someone asks me about what i have done or what not then I share because I hope to help. Its not my place in life to assess others....even if I see a pattern similar.....I can only wish them well in my head but thats just about it.

Keep it going