Day 1, trying to quit again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 6
Day 1, trying to quit again
Hi everyone,
I'm new here :-) I'm a single mum with a highly stressful job, a mortgage, an 8 year old son and with no family support.
Alcoholism runs in our family unfortunately and I saw it growing up albeit it was my stepfather doing all the drinking.
I didn't drink for years but after my divorce 3 years ago really struggled with sleeping and in general relaxing and found that self medicating with wine helped.
I don't drink every night, more like 3 times a week however I do find myself finishing a whole bottle of wine and looking for more to drink which is a real concern.
Unfortunately my partner also likes to drink, we did make a pact that this year we will both cut back except I really want to quit rather than drink in moderation as quite frankly I don't know when to stop drinking once I start :-(
How do you stop drinking? How do you find the willpower? I wrote a card with all the things I will feel in the morning if I do drink, unfortunately it isn't always effective. And the problem is I also do things and say things I regret the next morning and am very emotional to the extreme, either I'm very happy or very depressed.
I'm not sure what I'm looking for, I guess I am looking for support and an ear or two ;-) and perhaps advice from others who have been down this road and were successful in eliminating the alcohol demon. I really want to stop, I just don't know where to start :-(
Any advice will be greatly appreciated, thank you!
I'm new here :-) I'm a single mum with a highly stressful job, a mortgage, an 8 year old son and with no family support.
Alcoholism runs in our family unfortunately and I saw it growing up albeit it was my stepfather doing all the drinking.
I didn't drink for years but after my divorce 3 years ago really struggled with sleeping and in general relaxing and found that self medicating with wine helped.
I don't drink every night, more like 3 times a week however I do find myself finishing a whole bottle of wine and looking for more to drink which is a real concern.
Unfortunately my partner also likes to drink, we did make a pact that this year we will both cut back except I really want to quit rather than drink in moderation as quite frankly I don't know when to stop drinking once I start :-(
How do you stop drinking? How do you find the willpower? I wrote a card with all the things I will feel in the morning if I do drink, unfortunately it isn't always effective. And the problem is I also do things and say things I regret the next morning and am very emotional to the extreme, either I'm very happy or very depressed.
I'm not sure what I'm looking for, I guess I am looking for support and an ear or two ;-) and perhaps advice from others who have been down this road and were successful in eliminating the alcohol demon. I really want to stop, I just don't know where to start :-(
Any advice will be greatly appreciated, thank you!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Welcome to the SR forum!
Good to see your trying to stay sober. It's a treaty thing to stay sober when your partner still wants to drink. You may want to talk to your partner how you stop drinking completely and see if they would cut back even more. If you have a hard time not drink when there is alcohol at your place then you may need to tell your partner to not bring alcohol in the house or just enough for them self for the night. This way it will be easier for you not to drink.
Willpower is a different thing completely different and is different with each person. Alcohol will always be around us until we die. Learning how to not cave in to it will take practice but over time it will be easier to do. Just try to stay away from it most of the time and if you need your going to drink go to an AA or SOS meeting to help with your cavings. You can also start a health hobby or join a club on meetup that does not involved alcohol.
Good Luck with your sober life and it will get easier over time.
Good to see your trying to stay sober. It's a treaty thing to stay sober when your partner still wants to drink. You may want to talk to your partner how you stop drinking completely and see if they would cut back even more. If you have a hard time not drink when there is alcohol at your place then you may need to tell your partner to not bring alcohol in the house or just enough for them self for the night. This way it will be easier for you not to drink.
Willpower is a different thing completely different and is different with each person. Alcohol will always be around us until we die. Learning how to not cave in to it will take practice but over time it will be easier to do. Just try to stay away from it most of the time and if you need your going to drink go to an AA or SOS meeting to help with your cavings. You can also start a health hobby or join a club on meetup that does not involved alcohol.
Good Luck with your sober life and it will get easier over time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 6
Hi ACT10Npack,
Thanks for your reply and for your advice regarding my partner. Thankfully we don't live together and he has agreed not to bring any alcohol on weekdays and only enough for him on weekends, problem is I am still tempted. I look and think what harm will one drink do...and then it spirals out of control.
The problem is my lack of sleep and the fact that I only seem to get a semi decent sleep when I have wine. I have been to the doctors and they have placed me on numerous anti depressants and sleeping pills, all of which have had adverse effects on me. Therefore I just find the wine easier to do if that makes sense. It's funny because I don't even like the taste yet I still poison myself with it.
I don't go to bars, pubs or nightclubs, I do know of a few mums that do the same as me and I have been avoiding them so that I am not tempted by them for now. I definitely need to get some new hobbies or some new friends. I do live in a country town so there isn't much to do but I used to enjoy the great outdoors so maybe I will rekindle that love.
Thanks again for the advice, fingers crossed I can stay on the straight path.
Thanks for your reply and for your advice regarding my partner. Thankfully we don't live together and he has agreed not to bring any alcohol on weekdays and only enough for him on weekends, problem is I am still tempted. I look and think what harm will one drink do...and then it spirals out of control.
The problem is my lack of sleep and the fact that I only seem to get a semi decent sleep when I have wine. I have been to the doctors and they have placed me on numerous anti depressants and sleeping pills, all of which have had adverse effects on me. Therefore I just find the wine easier to do if that makes sense. It's funny because I don't even like the taste yet I still poison myself with it.
I don't go to bars, pubs or nightclubs, I do know of a few mums that do the same as me and I have been avoiding them so that I am not tempted by them for now. I definitely need to get some new hobbies or some new friends. I do live in a country town so there isn't much to do but I used to enjoy the great outdoors so maybe I will rekindle that love.
Thanks again for the advice, fingers crossed I can stay on the straight path.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
If the antidepressants are not working then don't use wine as an excuse to drink. This is were willpower comes in to play. You will need to learn to avoid alcohol if you want to quit. If your still tempted with the alcohol that your partner brings then tell him no alcohol at your place. Straight to the point. If your partner does bring alcohol and you let them do then tell the partner to not let you have any at any cost. This way you will not drink. It's really hard to stop drinking at first because of the excuse we use to want to drink. Same thing with cavings. It's really up to you to how much you want to stay sober.
Good luck.
Good luck.
YOu'll find a lot of support here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by The Bear 
Hi everyone,
I'm new here :-) I'm a single mum with a highly stressful job, a mortgage, an 8 year old son and with no family support.
Alcoholism runs in our family unfortunately and I saw it growing up albeit it was my stepfather doing all the drinking.
I didn't drink for years but after my divorce 3 years ago really struggled with sleeping and in general relaxing and found that self medicating with wine helped.
I don't drink every night, more like 3 times a week however I do find myself finishing a whole bottle of wine and looking for more to drink which is a real concern.
Unfortunately my partner also likes to drink, we did make a pact that this year we will both cut back except I really want to quit rather than drink in moderation as quite frankly I don't know when to stop drinking once I start :-(
How do you stop drinking? How do you find the willpower? I wrote a card with all the things I will feel in the morning if I do drink, unfortunately it isn't always effective. And the problem is I also do things and say things I regret the next morning and am very emotional to the extreme, either I'm very happy or very depressed.
I'm not sure what I'm looking for, I guess I am looking for support and an ear or two ;-) and perhaps advice from others who have been down this road and were successful in eliminating the alcohol demon. I really want to stop, I just don't know where to start :-(
Any advice will be greatly appreciated, thank you!
I'm new here :-) I'm a single mum with a highly stressful job, a mortgage, an 8 year old son and with no family support.
Alcoholism runs in our family unfortunately and I saw it growing up albeit it was my stepfather doing all the drinking.
I didn't drink for years but after my divorce 3 years ago really struggled with sleeping and in general relaxing and found that self medicating with wine helped.
I don't drink every night, more like 3 times a week however I do find myself finishing a whole bottle of wine and looking for more to drink which is a real concern.
Unfortunately my partner also likes to drink, we did make a pact that this year we will both cut back except I really want to quit rather than drink in moderation as quite frankly I don't know when to stop drinking once I start :-(
How do you stop drinking? How do you find the willpower? I wrote a card with all the things I will feel in the morning if I do drink, unfortunately it isn't always effective. And the problem is I also do things and say things I regret the next morning and am very emotional to the extreme, either I'm very happy or very depressed.
I'm not sure what I'm looking for, I guess I am looking for support and an ear or two ;-) and perhaps advice from others who have been down this road and were successful in eliminating the alcohol demon. I really want to stop, I just don't know where to start :-(
Any advice will be greatly appreciated, thank you!
its a disease
+
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Welcome!
I couldn't quit until I really really really wanted to live a sober life. Until I saw more hope in sobriety than in drinking. Until I faced the fact that moderation is 100% unattainable goal for me. Until I was willing to not drink no.matter.what.
I had to eliminate all the 'hope' and 'try' from my vocabulary and (as someone here put it) "fight for my life".
You'll find lots of support here!
I couldn't quit until I really really really wanted to live a sober life. Until I saw more hope in sobriety than in drinking. Until I faced the fact that moderation is 100% unattainable goal for me. Until I was willing to not drink no.matter.what.
I had to eliminate all the 'hope' and 'try' from my vocabulary and (as someone here put it) "fight for my life".
You'll find lots of support here!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: New York State
Posts: 58
Bear, you will stop when you are ready. Just because your partner brings alcohol into your house there is nobody twisting your arm. You need to face the fact that the problem is yours...you control yourself. That's what adults do. Don't forget you have an 8 year old watching everything you do to figure out how they are supposed to act as an adult. It's up to you to end the cycle now.
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
Welcome to SR Bear! I can totally relate to the sleeping problems. You will need to quit for it to get better. Your body is used to the alcohol...and will take a while for it to adjust.
Good luck and keep us posted!
Good luck and keep us posted!
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