Shalisan

Tough day! I had to have a big confrontation with someone who did something really wrong, and it was pretty heated. I really had to stand my ground and be articulate. I have an intense job (hense, the heavy drinking in the last few years) and I know that I am good in the intense moments, then later debrief into my bottle of wine, or two. This was a doozy,one of the 3 top in my career. I walked it off and talked it off as best I could. Got home, and my daughter let me know that due to a scheduling conflict she might have to bail on our "Biggest Loser" program that I paid for (big bucks) and now may have to attend alone. Immediately afterwards, I got the call I had been subconsciously waiting for. A week ago, when I got back from vacation, my boyfriend told me he had met someone new while I was gone. That was harsh. I have thrown myself into recovery and healthy living since then (well, after a bad night). Out with the old! But, I was kind of hoping he would come around or call and beg for forgiveness, realize what an idiot he was. Just for my wounded ego. So, it was his name on the call display. Finally. He was calling to say hi, hope we could be friends again (like it was nothing). Later, he let me know that he is very happy with the new girl and it is going really well. That is NOT what I wanted to hear. No one was home tonight, so no one would know if I got a bottle of wine. But, I made it through. I more day.

Deb045

Yeah-your right--Sounds like one tough Day--And I am glad you made it through--It gives me hope to hear that--because WE DON'T HAVE TO P/U A DRINK NO MATTER WHAT--Thats what I say alot when things get rough and they do alot but my Sobreity is worth everything to me--Sobreity comes first--Good Work in Living Life One Day at a Time

Snarf

Even if no one else is home, YOU will know if you drink. Your recovery is about yourself, and not anyone else. You're doing this for you, and that's the greatest gift you can give.

I'm sorry for your relationship troubles. I know how difficult they can be. But there's nothing on Earth that can't be made worse with alcohol.

Stay strong, and good job on not cracking in the face of pressure at work.

least

Learning to live without my 'crutch' was very hard but after a year I'm finding that I don't need it after all. Good for you for getting thru a tough situation sober.

Veritas1

In AA, they say, "To thine own self be true".

We know we cannot take that first drink. We know where it will lead.

Proud of you!

digderidoo

Congratulate yourself on getting through the day without a drink.

In sobriety we have to learn how to deal with these things without a drink, you're doing well. Keep on sharing, it helps.

Paul

Hevyn

Hello Shalisan. Glad you came here to relieve some of the frustration & disappointment. I felt so alone without my ability to get numb and forget my troubles. I never realized while I was busy blotting things out I wasn't dealing with them emotionally, just covering up my feelings. Nothing changed and I didn't move forward. I'm sorry you're having a bad time, but you haven't added one more problem to the list - you haven't caved.

onlythetruth

Ah...but you would know, and you are the person who has to live comfortably inside her own skin.

And doesn't it feel great that you made it? You don't have anything to feel remorseful about. You don't have a hangover. It's a victory!

Good for you!

mmh364

Hello Shalisan... I can relate to what you're saying so well. It's hard enough to talk your head out of the random thoughts of 'oh well... why not just 1' without having major conflicts. When major problems arise, I feel like all of my nerves in my body are electrified and my arms tingle. It is so hard to resist the instant calm of a glass of wine. Takes every ounce of determination. When that happens now, I hit the gym or take a brisk walk around the block. Seems to work. The next morning I'm so glad that I didn't give in to the booze because the horrible hangover would be worse. I still can feel the 'morning after' feeling. Eyes hurt, body hurts, tired, puffy eyes, cloudy head..... vowing NEVER AGAIN! Insanity.
Congratulations to you. I know how hard those moments can be. Today is day 11 and I'm getting stronger everyday. Thanks to all of my new friends on this site. You have helped so much.

Mary

Shalisan

Thank you all. I was relieved not to wake up with the knowledge I had drank. I was really wrestling last night. I told myslef that wine would not help the disappointment I felt; it would be the biggest dissapointment of all. That's very true, but last night it just felt like words. I was so tempted that I dreamed I drank like crazy, and even woke up with a phantom hangover and real shame that I had to talk myself out of (glad i was able to!) On to day 7.

peacefulheart

You are STRONG...what a doozy of a day!! Maybe reward yourself in a good healthy way for making it through?

Nissan87

What a tough day! Be proud of yourself for not drowning yourself in that bottle (or two) of wine. You are a STRONG woman. I have always turned to wine to drown my sorrows and it only makes me feel worse. Good luck to you!!!

bigbook

I had 10 years of sobriety, made it through all the tough days, quite a few of them. Then Sort of backed off recovery in year 8, frustrations at work and money issues like we all have, were starting to build up----Relapse before the first drink as I see now. One nite my nephew was over with some of his college friends and they left some beer behind, nothing really happened that nite but for some reason I opened one of those beers and drank it. I was off to the races again and stayed out there for a brutal 7 years and drank more then I ever did. Getting back was the most difficult thing I have ever done my life. It became very unmanageable I could not get any days in row sober. I finally went to an out patient program for 6 weeks and got 30 days. I now have 5 years.

Good luck to you, and congratulations!