Relationship Advice?
SR Fan
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
hi hev - Congratulations on day 3.... In those early days of sobriety it's enough just to stay sober, so don't get too far ahead of yourself. I understand the desire to mend relationships and the need for support, but you'll make it a whole lot easier on yourself if you don't complicate your life right now with a lot of emotional stuff.
AA is a great place for social interaction (and a safe place to talk about things, too). Also, therapy can be really helpful. I can't really give you any advice (not a therapist and don't know your situation), but if it were me, I'd try to keep things simple for the near future.
ODAAT!
AA is a great place for social interaction (and a safe place to talk about things, too). Also, therapy can be really helpful. I can't really give you any advice (not a therapist and don't know your situation), but if it were me, I'd try to keep things simple for the near future.
ODAAT!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 207
Hello hevsweetie, thank you for joining SR and congratulations on Day 3 of your new life!
I really agree with the 'Keeping It Simple'. Just focus on you, you, you for now and the rest can wait.
When I first went into recovery, everything and all my relationships in my outside life suddenly seemed much more complicated and 'real' and painful than I ever recalled.
But in reality, nothing had changed, just my perception of them did and boy was it scary. When drinking, I was so much more agreeable and accepting of insane situations that were bad for me, and when I stopped drinking, reality set in and I thought I had to wipe my life clean on Day 1. So not true.
Just focus on you right now. Even getting a glass of water can be a huge challenge right now so if you think in those terms "One hour at a time", everything will work itself out.
I really agree with the 'Keeping It Simple'. Just focus on you, you, you for now and the rest can wait.
When I first went into recovery, everything and all my relationships in my outside life suddenly seemed much more complicated and 'real' and painful than I ever recalled.
But in reality, nothing had changed, just my perception of them did and boy was it scary. When drinking, I was so much more agreeable and accepting of insane situations that were bad for me, and when I stopped drinking, reality set in and I thought I had to wipe my life clean on Day 1. So not true.
Just focus on you right now. Even getting a glass of water can be a huge challenge right now so if you think in those terms "One hour at a time", everything will work itself out.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Take a look at our relationships and parenting in sobriety forum. Lots of good advice there.
Relationships & Parenting In Sobriety - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Relationships & Parenting In Sobriety - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Hev, glad you are here and you definitely have our support
What I found getting sober was that most of how I viewed life was dependent on my thinking. If I was in a good mood then things weren't so bad. Get me on a down day....oh boy I was overwhelmed and negative nelly.
Keep in mind that recovery is a journey really and it takes time. Don't be hard on yourself. What you are doing takes much strength so please don't feel the need to have answers for everything today. I found getting into this new life we are creating to be process and I still continue every day to grow a bit more.
Look forward to the journey.
What I found getting sober was that most of how I viewed life was dependent on my thinking. If I was in a good mood then things weren't so bad. Get me on a down day....oh boy I was overwhelmed and negative nelly.
Keep in mind that recovery is a journey really and it takes time. Don't be hard on yourself. What you are doing takes much strength so please don't feel the need to have answers for everything today. I found getting into this new life we are creating to be process and I still continue every day to grow a bit more.
Look forward to the journey.
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