I don't know whether to laugh or cry when things like this happen
 

I picked my son up from school today and when I was putting my 2 kids in the car my husband showed up out of nowhere. I guess he had an appointment nearby and had tried to call me to see if we wanted to have lunch. I had left my phone in the car so I missed his call.

But as soon as I saw him my heart started pounding - panic. "Am I sober??". :react

Now, I never once picked my son up from school drunk. But that's not the first time I've reacted like that. Another time he borrowed my car without telling me first and I had the same panicky reaction "Is there an empty bottle in the trunk??".

Obviously I was sober (4.5 months and counting) but how effed up is it that this is my first reaction to what should be a totally normal thing?

You know...I totally get what you mean. I bet a lot of others do too.

Congrats on 4.5 months.

I think it's a pretty normal instinctive reaction - we drank for years SSIL :)
The important thing is - you are sober and you're doing great :)

D

LOL. I used to get that feeling whenever I saw a cop car while driving. I never drove drunk either. I guess it just takes getting used to when you're used to hiding things all the time.

I act casual when my spouse shows up unexpectedly but inside I am very emotional. Grateful for God and sorry for time wasted.
SH

I still get that reflex occassionally when I drive past a police car...

I know a guy 20+ years without a drink and his wife still smells his breath EVERYTIME he gets home. (LOL!)

Oh boy do I know what you mean.
When I was using I told so many lies and was trying to balance so much bull ****. I was constantly on the edge. Approaching 60 days clean and the feelings haven't gone away. Its just become a habit. My mother calls my phone, I get a pit in my stomach. I hear footsteps in the house and I think somebody is coming to call me out. Whenever anything goes missing I feel the glare of accusation - even though I know damn well I haven't stolen or done anything remotely deceitful since I've been clean.
On one hand its weird to still feel this way, but on the other its a relief. At least now I know its all in my head.

Yep. Amazing how those things were normal to us, isn't it?!

I had a similar experience. My grandson opened my wardrobe door and went inside it to hide. It has been a forbidden place, because I hid my booze in there. ( no one knew LOL)
I was in the room and automaticly told him no! Then it dawned on me that there was no alcohol hidden in there. So, yeah hide in there little one and enjoy. I hope I will have many more ,"Oh there is no booze hidden there or Oh ya I am sober!" moments:c029: in my future. They bring a relief with them that is better than a booze buzz.

a couple of times when a family member opened a kitchen cupboard l would panic.... that's where l hid coffee mugs full of wine when some-one arrived home unexpectedly

Marni...That is too funny. Someone would come to visit unexpectedly and I would bolt off to hide my drink in record time. I had forgotten that one!

Been there, done that! Wow . . . We all have such similar stories! I thought I was the only one that panicked when someone showed up at our house unannounced. I have lots of hiding places too. For the most part, I would forget where I hid my wine.

SSIL....I agree that it is pretty common. I did that so many times like pinching myself...very unsettling....but it passes.

Wow.....its amazing how much I can relate to everyone here. Do you know I still gargle/brush teeth before I answer the door....well if I can get time to. Not that I am not about hygiene its a habit from the years of drinking to try and mask the smell of booze if someone showed up unannounced.

So glad those days are behind us!

Flashbacks. Gotta hate them, but they're part of our life and will eventually start to lessen. I used to have dreams where upon I had drank. I would wake up panicked and then feel very grateful it was a dream and not the real thing. Feel the gratitude of sobriety. :)