To anyone who is as lazy as me...
 

Hey everyone. For years I have been lazy. By lazy I mean playing video games for hours upon hours, not cleaning (until the house was just a disaster), showing up to work late, calling in sick when I didn't want to go to work, lying to my wife about doing things she asked - knowing I wasn't going to do them as I was saying I would, etc...

I have basically spent my entire life avoiding responsibility so I could do what I wanted to do. Most of the time that meant drinking and sitting on my asss....

It has been my goal in recovery to do what I am suppose to do NO MATTER WHAT. Guess what? I have found that I am so much more "at peace" when I do this. Little things like changing a light bulb that's out, taking out the trash (before it overflows), doing the dishes, running the vaccume, dusting, etc... Basically, looking for things to do rather than avoiding them.

This has been very therapudic for me. Every time I do one of these things I feel better instantly. For all of you newcomers that are as lazy as me. I would suggest doing these things daily. I like to put on some good music and just get to work. If I'm tired, I find that once moving around I'm not tired anymore. If I am anxious, I find that it calms me. It just has helped me very much. For most people this is just called being "normal" lol... For me, it's a major change.

Best of luck everyone! Let's all go to bed tonight sober! Sound good? :a122:

I'm finding that living sober means keeping the house cleaner to begin with, and having the energy and ambition to clean it when it needs to be cleaned.:) What a bonus!:)

Gosh, I know what you are saying is true. I always feel better once I actually get going, I have 37 days sober, going to all my meetings, reading, praying and working hard on my sobriety, but still lacking the motivation to clean my house. It's not messy enough to be on "How clean is your house" or hoarders, I still make dinner and wash clothes, even change the toilet paper roll, but that is about it. I've actually gotten a little messier since sobering up...no longer rewarding myself with booze for productivity. I know I need to snap out of it, but I also don't want to beat myself up over it too much. Telling myself staying sober for one more day is way more impressive than any amount of housework I could do. Hopefully I'll get sick of living in visual chaos and become a recovering lazy too!

Reg,

I agree completely. After my last big drunk, my house was a mess, as was my banking, bill paying (even though I had the money to pay them), business affairs, etc. When I sobered up I could not believe the amount of time I had on my hands. Doing daily chores that you would expect any teenager to be expert at was actually a big deal for me at first. Now this comes naturally. I am not perfect, and did have a minor 4 day relapse late last year. Progress not perfection.

PS - by the way you played a ****** football game yesterday. LOL.

I agree dgillz. I actually view my "chores" as part of my recovery. I did lay a complete egg last night. I only had one more catch and one more yard than my dog!!!!

Is there a group on here that deals with this?
 

Not trying to highjack your thread Reg, you just brought up a significant issue in my life. I am a hard worker when I am working. I'll jump right in to volunteer at an event, forget to take breaks because I'm so focused. I could go outside and do manual labor from sun up to sun down. Spend an entire day on the computer doing research. Ask me to vacuum, wash dishes and fold clothes and I wither inside like a picked flower in the desert. My man works hard all day, now he has to leave work sometimes to take me to my dui appointments too. Even though he goes to bed drunk every night, he remains productive (for now). I have had an aversion to housework way longer than a drinking problem. It seems to have a lot of related thinking though. You'd think keeping a tidy home would be the least I could do since I'm a stay at home mom. Shame on me! After a long day, it would be a very loving gesture to at least make things livably comfortable around here, instead I just think about it, feel anxious and do little. When motivation does kick in, it is usually towards evening. I might find myself in a full swing cleaning mode, but then it's his time for bed for which he insists on absolute silence in the house. I can see the frustration in his eyes as he comes home to the same mess he left. He hasn't said anything yet, but I know the frustration is building and one of these days soon, he is gonna go off on me. Then what? I'll cry because I do feel bad, he can't say anything worse than I am already thinking about myself. I'll deserve it, but then he'll feel bad for blowing up, knowing staying sober has been my focus, but he'll also feel resentful that his reasonable frustration is being stifled. He isn't asking for perfection or overnight change, just effort...a little improvement every day. Normally I am a very sensible and caring person. So why, when it comes to cleaning, do I sound like someone unwilling to quit drinking, despite the misery it is causing me and those around me? Seems like the same poop, just a different pile!

Reggie - Great truths you speak! It's a bit sad to get a buzz out of finally getting the trash out or the vacuum cleaner on - but, any buzz is better than no buzz at the moment. Seriously though, I am trying hard (and getting better) at doing the daily chores and not procrastinating anymore. Actually, whenever I do procrastinate - it always ends up in my face at an even less convenient time.

As my grandma used to say: A stitch in time saves nine.

vee

So TRUE! I'm not the most amazing housekeeper on the planet but I do find it lifts my spirits very much when I keep it up daily.

And here's some scientific evidence! Just 20 Minutes Of Weekly Housework Boosts Mental Health

I have never checked in to an in patient rehab..but know others who have. That is one of the things they do..they have a chore checklist. I also think that a cluttered house makes a cluttered mind. BUT DON'T LOOK IN MY CLOSETS! That is a project I need to tackle. I not only have my sh!t but I have leftover kid sh!t (they have been on their own for quite awhile) and my dead relatives sh!t. Anyway..yeah I feel better but it is alot easier keeping up with housework now compared to when everyone was still home.

Hi ReggieWayne, (((hugs)))

Gosh what a fabulous post!! It reminds me of ME :c031: and that is not really flattering. I think you could have been describing me before when I was drinking my home was disgust!!!! Now I like to minimally keep it very tidy and orderly. I just said after Christmas it has come in 'stages' for me during my soberity. It wasn't just ALL at once that the house was clean again. It has been a progression of efforts and a goal I have worked towards. I feel like I'm still a work in progress but happy that every day gets better and better. THANK YOU for a great post!

Have a happy soberful night too!

Love Pancake xo :grouphug:

um....that would be me. LOL I'll try the therapy angle and see how I do.

Thanks. Nice to know I'm not alone.

I go through phases where I feel really productive, and at other times I feel useless, and have a hard time stepping away from the TV or computer. But ya, I usually feel good after cleaning up the house, because thats when you can sit back and really enjoy and appreciate that you aren't a slob, which is what I am when I drink.

I think a lot of it is, when you stop drinking, you start regaining your self-esteem and you take care of yourself and the things that are yours. For a lot of us, when we are drinking, that all goes out the window and all that matters is getting drunk. I remember being on binges and looking at all the empties and thinking who cares. Sober people care, drunk people not so much haha

Keeping my house in order helps me to keep order in the rest of my life. Plus, I'm more motivated to keep up with the cleaning when it's an ongoing process. Once it piles up and becomes a mountain of nastiness, I don't want to mess with it.

I'm also much more content and happier in my home when it's clean. It feels more like "home," not just the place I sleep and keep all my stuff.

I also don't have to scramble to straighten up if someone comes over, because the apartment is already nice and neat!

Reggie thx for sharing! I so agree that once I get up and going that I dont' feel like such a slug anymore :) Also, you hit the nail on the head about lying and not doing things you said you were. I did much of that when I drank and now I am all about action.

Its nice to have some energy and drive to do things again!

Good post :)