FrothyJay

Safe from what? Doesn't it seem odd that you want safety from life?

Wouldn't freedom be better?

Zig210

You know, I was sort of afraid to quit drinking altogether....afraid I would appear to be a person with a drinking problem, not quite fit in socially, not have "fun" in ways I was accustomed...but that one morning upon waking from drinking far too much, I was just disgusted with myself...more than I could handle this time. I will say this, and forgive me for being honest...at your age to hear I had an alcoholic body would hit me VERY hard. You are still young. I do think you will wake up, as I did, and know what you have to do. But at least you recognize what is going on and your need to change at some point.

artsoul

Hi DJD - your post describes alcoholism perfectly: we start off the day intending to not drink and drink anyway. We think it will be different tomorrow or next week, but it never is.

I hope you'll soon decide you don't deserve to have this kind of life. I know about the boredom and restlessness, but I decided I'd rather learn to deal with that than trips back and forth to the hospital..... I had proven to myself that without help, my path was pretty much laid out for me. I sure wasn't being very successful on my own.

(In actuality, once I got sober, it took relatively little time before I found that boredom wasn't a problem anymore.)

We're all rooting for you!:ghug3

ReadyAndAble

I second everything artsoul, said.

And honesty shouldn't be depressing—it's liberating. It's one of the keys to unlocking that freedom FrothyJay mentioned...

Missybuns

DJD

Rusty Zipper offered this: When we really understand what this means, we know that means it only gets worse.

An open mind will see this is not referring to how much or when (time of day) we drink. Addiction affects us mentally, physically and spiritually.

Mentally the obsession kills our spirit. We don't have to wait for devistation to change our lives.

First we must be willing to learn a new way to live.

With an open mind, we can use honesty to free ourselves from our self-centered disease.

We do have a choice and we do recover

grateful to be free,
Missy

cabledude

Disheartening? Finding out I was actually alcoholic and what that means was horrifying. Disheartening is when my car gets a flat tire.

FrothyJay

There are generally two schools of thought in sobriety.

One is willpower. I will change my habits, my life and take control. I will not drink one day at a time. I will pick up the phone and call someone when I get an urge. I will battle this thing, and always remember where alcohol takes me.

The second is surrender. I am powerless over alcohol-- no amount of willpower on my part can break my habit-- because I have a disease of the mind, my mind cannot fix me. I am defenseless against the first drink and every drink after. I cannot keep my memory green enough to fight this. No amount of fellowship and determination can help. I must find power other than myself.

These are polar opposites. The first is a much more common approach, and certainly fits in with how we as human beings have been conditioned to deal with our problems. The second is completely counterintuitive: we recover by giving up.

The second is the program of AA. The first is something else.

BobGT

Hi DJD. I went through years of the quit in the morning, drink at night scenario. When I think of the years I wasted doing this I, well, I just try not to think about it anymore, lol.

But the good news is that life without alcohol is so much better. And the people in my life who matter are happy with my sobriety. I'm sure some of my drinking buddies are wondering what happened to me. But the fact that they haven't called to check shows that they were just drinking buddies, not true friends.

I just wanted to point out that there is a choice and at least for me, I'm glad I quit.

DJD88

I swear whenever I come back to this place, it either results in tears...or chills at the very least. I mean that in a good way. It is so strange to me to realize that other human beings think the way I think when it comes to alcohol.

I have a small victory to share. I visited family today, and when returning home...I didn't make that turn to the liquor store. Now, I had my pint waiting for me, but since I live in a town that doesn't sell booze in any form on Sundays, I will not have anything to drink tomorrow.

So, tomorrow, in order to drink, I will have to drive 180 miles round trip...and I do not see that happening. Call me crazy, but I am pretty excited about it. When 5:00 PM CST tomorrow rolls around give or take, I will most definitely NOT be excited...but hey...at least I made a positive decision in regard to my drinking for once. Right?

Dee74

We all have to start somewhere DJD - 4 years ago or so, I started my journey on the one day of the year here when the liquor shops were closed...

I hope it's a turning point for you

D

Missybuns

gotta start somewhere!
good move! You are getting the idea.