someguy71

Strange but true story...

This is all in hind sight... of course.

When I met my wife 10 years ago we were both daily drinkers. As a male and physically larger I consumed proportionality more. Her job required her to drink and some times would come home violently ill. This was going on long before I met her. Then we met, and as mentioned we were daily drinkers.

3 years after we met she was fired from her job, no longer required to drink and..... just stopped. Literally just stopped. Is it possible for a daily drinker of 5+ years to just stop without and adverse reactions or cravings or anything?

Here I am 10 years later and it only got worse! I'm not implying that I have been a daily drinker for 10 years... it has been, in fact, much longer than that but... how did she do it?

Dee74

I went through a stage early on of devouring everything I could read on famous (and some not famous) hard drinkers, trying to find some pattern....I read an awful lot of books but I didn't find one....every story had it's own characteristics.

Some people drank comparatively little, or for a short time, and died alcoholics. Some drank oceans of booze and continued on happily until they died peacefully at great ages...others stopped seemingly without any work beyond simply not drinking.

I finally worked out that the only journey I should really be that interested in my own
D

someguy71

true enough!

I'm just a little jealous of course Kind of like those ppl that can eat anything and stay slim.

SSIL75

My husband sometimes drinks a lot but seems to be able to stop at any time on a random night or chose not to drink on any night. It's a mystery.

kiki5711

maybe she didn't drink as "much" as you thought? I mean, she could have nursed one glass for a long time just to blend in? possible?

keithj

Some drinkers, when they have sufficient reason like a job change, a move, health problems, relationship trouble, legal issues, or just get bored with it, can just decide to quit and that's the end of it. Their problems end at the bottle.

And then there are drinkers like me, who, in spite of all those consequences and good reasons, find that they can not quit. Their problems begin where the bottle ends.

These two kinds of drinkers may look identical on the outside, but they are very different creatures.

Although some don't like the distinction, it proved to be very important to figure out which type I was. One of the 2nd type (BB described 'real alcoholic') trying to follow the path of the 1st is almost always doomed to failure.

bigbook

If you believe in the disease concept then drinking daily does not necessarily make you an alcoholic, it sounds like alcohol but it's alcoholism and that may be the difference between the 2 of you.

{Clancy, I } an AA speaker touches on this topic very well.

keithurbanfan

I don't know where I fit in. I have been a drinker since I was a teenager. I stopped when I was pregnant, of course. That was 15 years ago. But in the last couple of years, my drinking has gotten more frequent, and it took more beers to get me drunk. I couldn't stop with just a few. I would drink until I was ready to pass out.

I know it's early in my quit to try to figure this out. But I decided I was tired of drinking, bored with it and tired of spending money on beer. So I haven't had anything to drink in a week now. (I've never gone that long without drinking since I was pregnant) I don't want to drink. There has been beer in my house all week and I haven't touched it. My husband has had a couple a few nights this week and I didn't want to join him. So I'm trying to figure out if I'm trying to break free from an addiction or a bad habit.

Any insight?

keithj

Some people feel its a pointless discussion, and that's OK. For me, it was critically important that I understood where I fit into this thing.

I hung around for a couple years with people who could just stop drinking and their lives got better, and I just couldn't figure out why I was so miserable and why, inevitably, I would return to drinking. There was no good reason for it. And they all seemed so happy.

All that matters is that you know the truth for yourself. What does your experience tell you? Keep it simple and ask yourself the question, can you stop entirely when you really want to?

Entirely means entirely. 1 week is not much to go on, and pregnancy seems like a special case. I know dozens of women who were able to stop for a pregnancy, only to start up again in a year.

Sugah

Though it's repetitious, I'll answer: Drinking doesn't make you an alcoholic. Needing to drink and being unable to keep from drinking, or being unable to stop once you start makes you an alcoholic. Maybe she was a nonalcoholic drinker.

And unless I missed it, no one asked the question that has me curious (and I ask just because I'm curious): What kind of a job did she have that required her to drink???

Peace & Love,
Sugah

bigbook

keithurbanfan

So I'm trying to figure out if I'm trying to break free from an addiction or a bad habit.

Sounds like you might suffer from alcoholism, normal people generally don't drink till they pass out. If your serious about quitting and have the desire to do so I would get the support of an AA program. sitting around analyzing our selves to death like we all do will usually lead us back to drinking.

I wish you luck on your recovery sobriety is a big word. You deserve sobriety. Go for it.

Anna

I also tend to look at it from a spiritual point of view. You are learning what you need to learn, in this lifetime, and your wife is learning what she needs to know. We are all on a spiritual journey and we are right where we should be.

jamdls

I drank heavily for the better part of 30 yrs and nearly daily the last 10 of those years, I drank until I passed out and was always a black-out drunk. The last time I drank I nearly killed myself and haven't had a drink since, no withdrawals, no craving, no formal recovery program (didn't even join SR until after 2 yrs sober); I have no desire for alcohol and haven't since the day I quit; sometimes just the thought of alcohol makes me nauseated. According to "the professionals" I am not was not "alcoholic" I was a "problem drinker", perhaps this is where your wife fit as well. I too wonder what kind of job "requires" someone to drink?