Ok I'm back now
 

Hey everyone -

I'm back at SR after taking some time away to measure and probe as to why I slipped up. Darn it - things were going so well with all those months. At least I identified my triggers and can now focus even harder with sobriety.

I'm thankful that I only have been drinking some cans during the middle of days - nothing any other time of day. Also thankful I kept it down to only a few so no blackouts, no dangerous times for me! :)

Thanks to those PMs and I'm even more thankful for all you wonderful folks at the community. Here is to another Day #1 that might actually mean something! I'm scrappy enough get back up again - it's amazing and somewhat scary that just one drink can set off those cravings again. The mind doesn't seem to forget.

Welcome back Leo! Glad you are here!

Welcome back. I can relate. Once we put any alcohol back into our system, the switch is on!

I believe I can never use alcohol safely again. I think we have to fully concede that we are done. That we cannot safely drink without the phenomenon of craving starting up again.

There is only one drink we have to stay away from...the first one!

No beers in the middle of the day, even if we think we can control it.

We need a sober and sane mind. :) Best wishes to you.

Congratulations for getting back.

I remember when I first started into recovery and coming out of a 30 day in-patient program sober for 30 days, I really thought I had it beat! I went to AA meetings everyday too and listened, after 6 months of continuous sobriety I drank again and it scared me. I got serious after that. Got a temp sponsor and started to work the 12 steps. I went on to get 10 years of sobriety, only to slip again for an agonizing 7 years! There is no defense against the first drink all we really have is today--I am presently sober 5 years again. I know I have another drunk in me, but I don't know if I have another recovery!!! I caused a lot of damage in those 7 years of drinking.

Welcome back!:)

The posts and advice here really have given me food for thought - thank you all.

D x

Leo!! So glad to see your update and I have been thinking of you.

Here is to a beautiful new year and Day 1. I know when I had my relapse that I had to really take a look at myself and what really was going on. I found that just not drinking was not enough to help me change so I have reached out both here and with face to face to keep making it positive. Its sure been a ride and I am beyond grateful for picking myself up and making it Day 1. Support is key and having others who understand it really helps us when we deal with our new life.

Way to go!!!

Welcome Back
 

Hi there, and welcome back, I am new to this so I hope this reply thing works. Anyway, remember ODAAT !

best wishes,

Stu

I'm glad you're back Leo :)

D

Hi Leo, good to see you back. Had a bit of a slip myself in December but managed to get sober in time for Christmas thank goodness.

The whole 'one drink' thing is a bit of a revelation isn't it? It's amazing how the transition to 'drinking mode' is so easy whereas getting back to 'sober mode' is so hard. With me they're very separate states of mind - interesting in itself...

I cant speak from experience of long term sobriety but this thread is really helping me understand how evil and cunning this disease is - 4 days ago I was feeling so very very ill I knew I would never drink again and then, yet again, once I feel slightly better the demon in my head tells me I have to drink again - ive not got back to making myself ill but I kind of know I probably will and now I am back on it again I dont want to stop - I was soooo scared of this happening to me again and determined I wouldnt let it - I feel like I have been possessed - it just takes a split second thought in my head to make me go back again. Sorry to not be positive but I felt I had to share - I want to come back to this thread when I feel strong again to remind me how easy it is for even those who have had years of sobriety behind them to let it take over again. I just dont know how to even get started properly. Good luck to everyone the only bit of wisdom I can input is that I know how very very hard this disease is to kick.

D x

Welcome back and if I drank like that, "having a few in the middle of the days", boy I'd sure be worried.

Be careful with rationalizing your drinking. If you're an alcoholic, than it's probably dangerous to do so, especially if you start thinking you can handle it.

Yeah Kjell - the slip up worried me, falling prey to my triggers worried me, and doing the middle of the day thingie worried me too. That's the difference between the first time and this time: luckily I at least know that doing so will certainly put me on that path to all the time drinking and ruin me.

I'm irked that I slipped, but more irked with how easy the cravings come right back. Scary.

Dearme - you aren't being negative, just realistic. I learned alot over my time and just thankful that I have been spinning my wheels only for a few weeks. Sometimes we just have to nip things in the bud and get right back up again.

For some, alcohol is an all or none at all thing. If someone can drink one to three and stop, they're not like the majority of alcoholics. We know when it's a problem. When it is, letting go comletely is the answer.

this is a real eye opener. Even after months of not drinking we can get hooked again. That scares me to death. I know how addictive it is to me...one drink and Im hooked until I pass out.

Glad you are back Leo!

Welcome Stuart:)

Glad you came back! Good luck to you.

I'm happy to hear you say that and I can't say it enough - welcome back, my friend.

Thanks for sharing about it too b/c we can learn from each other.

Keep posting and we'll stay sober together.

Thanks for sharing, Leo. Amazing how just a drink can put you right back where you were, apparently no matter how many months or years go by. That's a lesson that can't be reinforced enough—so thanks again. Glad you made it back to tell the tale!