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-   -   Maybe this is a stupid question... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/217076-maybe-stupid-question.html)

Rift 01-05-2011 10:21 PM

Maybe this is a stupid question...
 
but do you think that you will ever drink again?

I guess it really is a stupid question to be asking, but I have been thinking that...man...life is long. Or at least it seems like it. I'm not sure if I can imagine never being able to chill out with some beers someday or I don't know...maybe it's just my alkie mind thinking right now. I have 18 days right now and I hope I can stay strong b/c I have been having some urges lately. It's hard to quit thinking about it sometimes. Just hard to imagine having to be so strong to say no for the rest of my life. I'm 27 BTW.

Ghostly 01-05-2011 10:26 PM

Congrats on 18 days! Awesome.

I don't know if I'll never drink again. I know I won't today.

Good luck. :)

Dee74 01-05-2011 10:27 PM

All I can tell you is...I don't know.

I don't think I'll ever drink again...I can't think of any situations that would lead me to want to die, cos that's what I'd be agreeing to ...

but I don't know every minute of my future - and I'm glad...cos that keeps me from underestimating this addiction, or getting too arrogant in my recovery.

The way I see it - all any of us has is today. The past is gone and the futures not here yet - they're both beyond my reach.

All I have is today - and staying sober today? That sounds achievable :)

D

Supercrew 01-05-2011 10:34 PM

I'm over 40, and I have no intention of ever drinking again. It had progressed for me to the point that I don't want to. I have been mentally and physically dependent on it, and for me it just not worth the hassle anymore. I don't feel the way I used to when I drank, it doesn't make me happy anymore, it numbs me and I want to feel stuff, and as I age I realize that each time I walk that path it only gets worse and the effects on my body multiply. I still have to keep recovery and sobriety in the front of my mind daily to accomplish it, but if I stay vigilent I can do it.

Rift 01-05-2011 10:35 PM


Originally Posted by Dee74 (Post 2820015)
All I can tell you is...I don't know.

I don't think I'll ever drink again...I can't think of any situations that would lead me to want to die, cos that's what I'd be agreeing to ...

but I don't know every minute of my future - and I'm glad...cos that keeps me from underestimating this addiction, or getting too arrogant in my recovery.

The way I see it - all any of us has is today. The past is gone and the futures not here yet - they're both beyond my reach.

All I have is today - and staying sober today? That sounds achievable :)

D

I don't know Dee. It just seems like it's just a matter of time before it happens again. I understand that it's hard for most of you that have years of sober time to say whether or not you will ever drink again and it would be stupid I guess for you to come out and say YES, I know I will drink again one day. Like it would be setting yourself up for failure. I apologize for asking the question now.

Man, it's just getting hard, but I'll get over it.

Dee74 01-05-2011 10:49 PM

I'm not so old or so far along I can't remember feeling that way DWD

I spent a lot of years not wanting to be a drunk, but wanting to be able to drink like everyone else...I was also very scared of having to change my life, and after 20 years of drinking I had no confidence in my ability to resist...

I was scared of having this sobriety *thing* hanging over my head like something always there in my peripheral vision....

then I nearly died - and I had no choice but to live sober or die....and I changed.

The more I lived life sober and the more things I faced sober and got through them, the more I felt better about my self and the life I was leading.

I can honestly say that today, at 43, I'm the happiest I have been since childhood...I have that kind of joy of life back...it's been a lot of work but I can trace it back to that decision to quit the booze.

So while I can't see the future - it's gonna be damned hard for me to voluntarily give up the life I have, and the man I am now to go back to drinking.

I really wish for you that you get to this point too, DWD.

I wouldn't lie to you. Keep the faith, man - its worth it :)
D

Antiderivative 01-05-2011 10:55 PM


Originally Posted by DownWDisease (Post 2820008)
I'm not sure if I can imagine never being able to chill out with some beers someday or I don't know...maybe it's just my alkie mind thinking right now.

If you are posting on this board, then chances are that you do not just "chill out with some beers". If that is all you did, then you wouldn't be here. Non-alcoholics "chill out with some beers".

It certainly seems that your so-called alcoholic mind is doing the thinking right now. It seems that you are minimizing, rationalizing, romanticizing, and lying about your drinking. This may lead you to another drink. It is dangerous thinking for an alcoholic.

If you have a reservation about your drinking, then you may drink again one day. If you are an alcoholic, I sure hope you don't. There is no need for that self-destructive behavior. When alcoholics drink, we sooner or later invite negative consequences into our lives and over time that ante keeps getting bigger...or it did for me.

You can try the 24 hour approach. Just don't drink one day at a time. Seriously, that is all we have--today. Tomorrow may never come and it won't for some people on the Earth, including some active alcoholics.

Dum loquimur, fugerit invida aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.

Onewithwings 01-05-2011 11:32 PM

One day at a time...

(I am 24 by the way... I have that same feeling often. I know where it will take me, though. I won't just 'chill with a beer', and chances are you won't either. Think that drink aaaaall the way through!)

NEOMARXIST 01-06-2011 01:33 AM

'Just for today' then I ain't taking a drink.

Peace

Isaiah 01-06-2011 03:23 AM

Not sure. All I know is I get through every day as it comes with the notion that I'm going to keep doing so for the rest of my life. It's actually easier to say no to drinking a thousand times than it is to say one meaningful and eternal no.

I figure I am already planning to live clean and sober from a lot of drugs I could theoretically relax with at the end of the day: opium, opiate painkillers, marijuana, barbituates, etc. So what's wrong with adding one more, alcohol, to the list?

keithurbanfan 01-06-2011 04:08 AM

Congratulations on 18 days!

I'm almost 41 and have spent over half of my life drinking. I feel confident that I'll live out the rest of it (however long that may be) sober.

Have a good day everyone! :)

OklaBH 01-06-2011 04:47 AM

Its a slippery slope for me. I wish I could have a few beers on a hot day or a glass of wine with dinner or a glass of champagne on New Years...truth is I cant. I have to have a 30 pack of beer, or 2 bottles of wine. This is just day 4 for me but it feels good to have gone this long without it. The is the longest I have gone since I was 24! Im 35 now. :c004:

mercyschild30 01-06-2011 04:50 AM

Im 30 and I stopped drinking when I was 25 I would never say I wnt drink again I just know I wont pick up a drink today!!!!! dont worry about the future, live in the day!!!! the past is history and tommorow is a mystery!!!!

Untoxicated 01-06-2011 05:04 AM

I don't know if I'll have the pleasure of being alive tomorrow or even tonight, so thinking about whether I will drink in the future seems like a waste of my time. The universe is an unknown.

I do know that there was a point that, after several times of false starts and sobriety dates, I made the decision to stop drinking; really made the decision that come hell or high water I wouldn't pick up a drink. Since my last drink on October 16, 2010 tough times have come and tough times have gone but I didn't drink. The inaction of drinking for a length of time isn't what is great, it's what comes with that inaction.

I made the decision to stop drinking for 30 days, those 30 lead to 60 and those 60 are closing in on 90. To be truthful, the more time that goes by the more that I realize how foolish it was of me to even fret over drinking or not drinking. Drinking was never a good decision for me and at times it's a bit embarrassing that I ever thought it was; that I got myself in so deep; that alcohol was my warm blanket for a cold world.

Would I do it again? Absolutely! I've learned more about myself in the last two months than I have in the last six years. Clarity of mind is slowly being restored and the multitude of good things that come with not drinking seem to be exponentially increasing.

The drink is neither an option for me, nor a desire. Alcohol is dead to me. I'm not naive enough, with all the wisdom on this board, to think that I will never drink again but I certainly won't be wasting my time wondering if I will - too many things to enjoy, I just don't have time to worry about drinking in the future. ;)

My $0.02,
Untox

doggonecarl 01-06-2011 05:19 AM

you will ever drink again?
 
I don't know. But I know I couldn't progress in my recovery until I accepted the fact that not drinking meant not drinking forever. Will I achive that? I've looked up recovery statistics...they don't seem to lean in the direction of life-long soberity for the majority of alcoholics. And we witness a fair number of relapses in our fellow SR members. However, the only answer to this question that matters is yours! Wll you ever drink again?

coffeenut 01-06-2011 05:28 AM

I think the answer is like Ghostly and Dee....really, none of us know...it's a daily thing.

But my gut answer is no, I won't. I just can't. I don't ever want to forget those days of bawling and pleading with myself to 'JUST GET STOPPED'.

I appreciate people that have lengthy sobriety that relapse and come here and share their stories. They can help us learn. I think that's a key...I won't ever stop learning more about this. When I do, that may be when I'm in trouble?

Good Thread.

SSIL75 01-06-2011 05:32 AM

4 months in I'm very aware that I wouldn't be be happy with a normal amount of alcohol. I can (and often do) imagine drinking one and how that feels. How it makes me want another and another. And then how the next day I obsess until I can drink again (both kids asleep at the same time? Score! Bonus glass!).

So I don't crave 10 glasses every day. I don't crave much at all anymore. But I have no doubt that one would make me want 10. And even if I could stop at 2 (which I sometimes could) I wouldn't be happy with it.

As of today and every day since August 23rd, I am happier not drinking than drinking. I don't see that changing, ever.

least 01-06-2011 05:44 AM

I'm nearly 60 yrs old and am so happy sober I don't want to give it up.:) Knowing what I know now and feeling as I do now I'm quite sure I'll never drink again. And I never had 'just' one glass of wine, it was always a bottle or two... And given how rough my short drinking career was I doubt I'll drink again cause my life's so good not-drinking.:)

Rift 01-06-2011 06:35 AM

well, I woke up this morning and feel like the urges have passed. I think that it is mostly a night time thing for me. Like that is when I tend to think about drinking.

And everyone is 100% correct about the one beer turning into 18-24 for me. I know that most likely it would happen that way. Having just one or two drinks is most likely not going to happen. I totally get that. And that is what is preventing me from doing it. The thought of drinking that much and getting up in the morning just totally disuades me from it. Thanks everyone! On to day 19!


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