ViciousCycle

Well.....here I am again. I was doing so well. Christmas Eve was my breaking point.....now I have failed my class of December and cannot even show my "face" there again......not that they even noticed I was gone.........they all seem to be doing so well and I am happy about that.

Sometimes I don't get it, I have everything going for me it seems.......am I afraid to have a happy life? Frustrating.

Time to get on the straight and narrow......I know what to do.......it's just hard.

Thanks,

Me

Anna

VC,

Give yourself permission to have a happy life.

You deserve a good life. Everyone does.

Dee74

It's not true to say noone noticed - I thought you were busy building up the business, VC, I'm sure others thought the same

I was afraid to have a happy life for sure - and afraid of failing, afraid if responsibility, afraid of having to live up to my potential....

It was the booze talking through that fear - and it nearly killed me. It never gets better.

Just dump whatever you have and get back with the plan, W

D

Fandy

Christmas Eve was only 12 days ago, today is January 5th....pick yourself up and get ready for a good, safe sober year. Have a plan in place for your triggers and you can do well again. not drinking TODAY is the best place to start.

i've teetered on the edge of the slippery slope many times too and so have many others. i don't beat myself up anymore, i learn what NOT to do.

ViciousCycle

I am......the lawyer has papers for me to sign now.....you would think I would be all over that? No........I chose to drink beer today. Not driving downtown. Where IS that LOSER smiley.

Anna

VC, You are not a loser.

You are here seeking support.

Crow3000

Apparently you are picking yourself right back up. I take this as a very positive sign. I spent a few months picking up and dropping my sobriety in the beginning. I learned a lot about what it takes me to remain dry, far more than I've learned in the last 8 months succeeding.

Dee74

You're addicted, not a loser VC.
Start your day one now

D

Nikkle

I'm in the December class and I didn't know you were missing cuz I was so focused on my own recovery, but I do remember seeing your avatar! There, it is confirmed, at least one person forgot you...feel better? Bet I won't forget you now, and at least now you have some more experience to share with future class dropouts! So glad you are back, now dust yourself off and prepare to be encouraged!

Lushwell

What do you have for a support network?

bettterlife4me

Hey VC - you were missed! I assumed (as others probably did) you were busy with your business start-up.

Don't beat yourself up. Like you said - you know what to do.

You are NOT a loser! You are my sista bud!

Horselover

It is funny how we always feel invisible to the world, but yet we have such an impact that we fail to even notice. I wasn't in the December class, but I remember you.

Don't let the fact that you relapsed get you down, but do stop now. If you can't stop then form a plan. I think the problem with the relapse is that you think "Oh well! Heck! I already screwed up and now before I get back into action I think I'll have a few more." This is the addiction luring you right back in. Don't let it.

If I remember right you had health issues. Do you have any face to face support system that you can call?

ReadyAndAble

VC, you were gone from the Dec. class, but not forgotten. People come and go here (I actually try to stop myself from assuming the worst when someone disappears).

And you did not fail us. For goodness sake, is there anyone here that hasn't tried and failed at least one? Most of us, much more?

The only one you failed was yourself. But you're back. That's what counts. So ease up on yourself a bit. Read your own signature line -- pretty much says it all!

Glad to see you posting again.

least

I tried and failed too many times to count. But I never gave up (with the support and encouragement of this site) and I eventually 'got it'. You can too. Start over today. You can do this.

Fubarcdn

You know I missed you my friend.
We did this for a good stretch before and we can do it again. I am with you all the way.:ghug3

eddie73

Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery. Thats my new motto and it is a helpful mantra to start the day with. We have to live in the here and now as ballanced a way we can. That is the trick!

barb dwyer

you can call me you know....

(((hug)))

LaFemme

You deserve to have a happy and healthy life! We all do.
I know it is one of my biggest obstacles in recovery and I am working on it daily...its getting better but slowly...thanks in large part to my life coach. So, how are you addressing this obstacle?

Hooped

I missed you too my friend and I have been worried about you.

When you disappear like that I always know what is going on, because I do the exact same thing.
Great minds think alike I guess.

Brush those skid marks off and come and join the Jan 11 class.
We are not failures or bad people....we are simply addicts.
Hang in there VC.
You are most certainly not alone.

Hevyn

Losers don't come clean about their problem and seek help - they curl up in a fetal position & pity themselves. You've come here to talk it out, and that's the sign of someone who is ready to try again to get healthy and well. You can do this VC.