In the dumps!
 

I discovered earlier today that my recent ex is posting ads to meet women on the internet, using his "single father" status as an incentive... whoa... this is all really recent so it's hard to imagine that he is willing to exploit this to position himself in the dating world! Wow. I've been attending AA in an effort to 1) make myself better and 2) have documentation of my involvement with recovery so that when the time comes, I can go to bat.... however, this is such a curve ball that I KNEW he would be taking out an ad... I peeked on Craigslist, and found it in all its vainglory. I know it's not even my business right now but it KILLS me that a person who is holding me in a lurch about my recovery and being able to demonstrate it is going to these kinds of lengths with his attempt to leave my kid in the charge of his housemate while he cavorts about... wow. I know I've been away from this site awhile, but I do still care. I just don't know what to think one minute to the next about how ugly things can be when relationships of this kind break up. It's scary.

I'm sorry to hear you're in the dumps, I know what that's like. I also know what the whole ex thing is like as I sometimes see her at the gym and it sucks goat balls. I try to go when I don't think she'll be there.

Just try to control the controllables. Don't go to websites to "peek" or do anything else that may put you in a bad mood or make you unhappy. In other words, don't ask the questions (with actions) that you don't want to know the answers to (or that you may want to know but won't do you well in knowing).

I hope you feel better soon.

I'm sorry Stella. Not sure what to say really.
Sometimes I despair at the things I read.

I agree with Untox tho - try as hard as you can to stop checking up on your ex, keep your focus - keep moving forward and keep on getting your recovery in order so you can get your child back.

D

Thank you guys. It hurts so bad to see him being so desperate. I guess I already knew this would be an inevitability. I am keeping my nose to the grindstone and doing all I can to adjust my life positively -- this was just a hard realization for me. I want the best for my daughter and this just feels so wrong to me. Oh well.

Stella, I'm sure you didn't want to find out that information, but now you know, it is what it is. My advice is to stay away from craigslist, facebook, etc, at least for awhile.

And, remember your recovery is for you and your children. All you can do is stay sober, stay focused and move forward with your life. Hopefully the outcome will be the best solution for you and your children.

Yeah good advice here, make that none of your business and focus on recovery, your recovery.

Just keep doing what you're doing to stick with your recovery program. Keep reaching out as it will only make you the stronger person you want to be. Remember that you can't control what he does with his personal life even though it sucks that he's using your daughter to his benefit. All you can control is yourself and your own sobriety. Once you get yourself to the place you need to be in life you'll be in a better position to go to bat as you say. It's good that your trying to stick with the positive but do stay away from looking for things you don't want to know the answer to. I did the same sort of thing for a while and all I was doing was setting myself up for disappointment. We alcoholics are dumb in that sense that we always self sabotage our own sobriety. Just stay focused on yourself and your recovery for now. I know its easier said than done, believe me I know, but you're on the right path and only good things will come so long as you don't stray off path. Keep your head up girl and keep reaching out for help here and in AA. There's always people willing to help you out with advice, suggestions and to just talk when you need to talk to someone. Remember closed mouths don't get fed.