DJM23

I'm struggling with early sobriety (a few relapses) and have been attending many different AA meetings to try and connect with people who can help.

I've been told that finding a temporary sponsor might be a good starting point but I haven't met anyone that i feel I've connectedwith yet. Any advice?

Lushwell

I'd strongly suggest at the next meeting you go to you announce that you feel you need a sponsor to mentor you through your stages of recovery. Leave the "temporary" out of it. If you want someone to make a commitment to be there for you, the least you can do is offer a similar commitment to follow through. Allow the connection to develop.

keithj

Yeah, if I waited until I felt a connection with someone, I probably wouldn't be here. Instead, I called a guy that had a solution, and the connection grew as the result of him taking me through the Steps.

Find somebody with a consistent message of a solution through the 12 Steps and a spiritual awakening who seems pretty comfortable with their sobriety. Or, just keep it simple and find somebody who has a Big Book and knows what is in it.

ArtDeco454

Don't look for a 'buddy'. When you reach for a lifeline you don't want an enabler. Look for someone to work the steps with, the connection will grow with time & trust.

GreenAces

I didn't feel any connection whatsoever with my sponsor early on... He came up to me after a meeting and gave me his number.. I felt awkward and uncomfortable with the whole thing... A few weeks later I needed a ride and needed a meeting desperately, I called him up and asked for a ride.. He gave me a ride and I still felt very awkward and uncomfortable and didn't feel much of a connection, but he asked me if I had a sponsor and even through all the uncomfortable feelings I still wanted to ask him to be my sponsor so I did, and we have become good friends and a connection between us was found to be quite strong, even though him and I are so different.

GreenAces

Exactly.. Someone early on told me to find someone the complete opposite of myself.. (except they had to still be a male.. DARN haha) but I did that with my sponsor, I didn't think we would ever become friends.. But now these days after close to a year of working the book and the steps together we have become great friends.. But he is still someone who I know I cannot manipulate, he always calls me out..

Zebra1275

I struggled with the sponsor piece. After a few months without one I found someone I admired I asked him and he turned me down because he already had too many sponsee's. Finally, I just announced at a meeting I was a regular at, that I was struggling without a sponser and if anyone could help me out, to see me after the meeting. That's how I got mine. After I said that at the meeting, about 3 other guys said that they also needed sponsors too. I think a lot of people are afraid to ask.

If you are willing to go to any length to stay sober, than you just need to ask, someone with experience being a sponsor will likely step forward. And don't worry about finding a soul mate, you are looking for a drunk with experience, not a spouse.

nogard

Approach a member who works the program, listen to them in and around meetings. Dont wait to long, don't worry about the connection or not, it takes time.

Also talk to your peers and OCM's around you and of course here at SR

DJM23

Well that didn't go the way I thought it would...announced this morning at a meeting that I was struggling through early sobriety and felt that I needed more support. Two men approached me after the meeting and offered their phone numbers. I asked both if they would sponsor me and they both found excuses not to. This is extremely difficult...

Lushwell

Don't host bad feelings about that. They maybe didn't have any program to share. You need nothing less than the best. It's there.

Are you male or female? A male working the program might shy away from sponsoring a female. Otherwise, hit another meeting. Each time you hear "no", you are that much closer to a "yes". Recovery isn't necessarily easy. Sometimes it's hard as hell. The disease, on the other hand, can be deadly. I'll take hard. Off to your next meeting, with a purpose. Sponsor. Program. Recovery. Freedom. All yours, with just a little effort.

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear"

In your case, the teacher may not be a person, right now, today; it may be a group resource, a combination of opportunities through others that allows growth. You must show up to find out. Don't quit before the miracle happens.

Repeat your efforts at a meeting again. It will be a sign of commitment and sincerity on your part to any listening, 'specially yourself.

reggiewayne

Hello. Nothing in life is perfect, if you spend a lot of time looking for that "perfect" sponsor you may be drinking again before you find him. I would absolutley say at a meeting that you're looking for a sponsor and I bet someone will volenteer... In the meantime, I would get a big book if you don't have one already and go immediately to "How it works". Read the chapter, over and over and over and over.... It helped me and I know it can help you. BTW, you can read the bb here... Big Book Online Fourth Edition

Best of luck to you.