camby680

Hi there, I am a 30yr old male from new york. some of you might have read my previous post about my DWI sentencing that I am facing. I never thought i would be the one to get arrested. Day after day i took these chances.. not only the chances of being arrested.. but the chance of me seriously injuring or killing someone else or myself. I never really drank until I left college and started working at my current job.. that was 8 years ago. There was never a time where I could just sit down to one or two beers or one glass of wine. When i drank, i drank a good 15 beers or a bottle of wine or rum. It just was something to get my mind off of everything. Then my drinking led to other issues.. cocaine and gambling.. I dont rely on cocaine anymore and have been clean of that nasty drug for a little over 2 yrs now but I still gamble constantly and that along with the drinking has really ruined my life. I barely have any savings and have to live home with my parents now till i can somehow save up money again to get out. I still find myself even after this incident stopping at the liquor store after work to buy a small bottle of rum or whatever it might be. Not to get drunk but i just feel the need for it to relax me and make time go by

sailorjohn

Welcome!!!

I'm John, I'm a recovering alcoholic.

PaperDolls

Welcome to SR camby. Keep coming back and posting.

camby680

thanks John and paperdolls.. i plan on coming back and hopefully sharing my story as well as learning from and understand others

ACT10Npack

camby680, I can understand what your going through. I'm facing a 2nd DUI right now. It happen a few days back. I told myself to stop drinking at the first one but it was even harder for myself to stop. Now that I'm going through my 2nd DUI, I'm telling myself that it's not worst it anymore. It's hard, that I know but you can change your ways. I could never understand why people come here or to AA but try to talk about your problems or legal stuff and they look at you like little ants that does not deserve to live. It's not to change your ways and a new path. It's not the end of the world. Life will go on and your DWI will pass. Hard to think that way when it's going on at this point but it's true.

Just remember it's alcohol and not food or water. You don't need it to live and a matter of fact it's not even good for you. Having a problem with drugs or alcohol will not kill but the action on using it will.

ISPYSOBRIETY

Welcome. Sounds like you're getting to the point where these addictions are pissing you off. That's good. Confronting them will be easier that way. Seems to me that if you can beat one, you can use the power you have proven you have, to beat another. Starting with booze is great. Getting your self control back will help with gambling.

I got a dui too. I hired an attorney and will let the system do it's thing. I suspect its all a big money raking process anyways. Money has nothing to do with helping the affected people. Rewarding attorneys, courts, state and fed doesn't help "Johnny or Janie" stop addiction... lmao. Just another misuse of OTHER PEOPLES money... but I won't get into that crap or I might relapse.

Good luck!

doggonecarl

You "feel the need" huh? Emphasis on need. Needing to drink was why I quit. Have you joined SR because you want to quit drinking? Sounds like you want to...sounds like you should. So why not today. Right now. And stop those excuses for why you drink. Seems to me that alcohol has you in its grip. That's all the reason you need to quit.

Welcome and good luck.

camby680

My main thing is I think I need to disassociate myself with some of the people i call "friends" I think what I will do today is get a cup of coffee or tea from the dunkin donuts across from my work and just drink that. Its just i always find an excuse.. Like on the way home is a shopping center with a chinese place, pizza and sushi and there is a liquor store as well.. i will go get food and then a bottle of something. At this point i sneek the bottle in whatever bag the food item is in so my parents dont see. as far as the gambling i have lost 5 grand in the past 4 weeks .. had to borrow money from my parents.. i tell myself im going to stop and then i just go betting again come monday

Dee74

Welcome again Camby

Sounds like your life is well on the way to being the impossible mess mine was...I'm glad you're here and thinking of doing something about that.

You'll find a lot of support here - a lot of folks going through the same things or who've been where you are and got out

D

Reubena

Welcome Camby! So glad you are here with us. Keep reading and posting.

Kjell

Camby - welcome.

I read your other post and I'm happy to see you posting here, about your real problems.

Get yourself a Big Book, read the doctors opinion (you can probably find this online). See if any of that applies to you. If it does, then...

Check out step 1 in AA, then make yourself a list of all the bad/regretful/ crazy things you've done while drunk or drinking. Then make a list of all the bad/regretful/ crazy things you've done while sober, keeping in mind you were sober each time you picked up your first drink.

See how you feel after you've done that. Why not give it a try?

AA saved my life and gave me a new one, but I'm not special. It can work for you too.

Kjell

camby680

So, maybe I just received a blessing in disguise. The local bar and only bar I go to has been shutdown this past Monday. This is definately a good thing for me as there really arent any other bars within walking distance of my house. I pray that I can get through tomorrow and hopefully start my journey to better myself from here on out. I dont want to be like this anymore.. i havent accomplished a thing in my life but failure and want to prove to myself and to my parents that I am something

suki44883

Life works in mysterious ways, camby. You can get through tomorrow; many of us here have been in your shoes and we made it. You can, too.

camby680

thanks suki.. i will be sure to get on here tmorrow to let everyone know what happened.. i look forward to making new friends here

suki44883

Whatever happens, it won't be the end of the world. It could be the first step to a new life. Sure, we all have to face the consequences of our actions, but, even doing that makes us stronger. I wish you all the luck in the world tomorrow in court, but whatever happens, you can handle it and be a much stronger person for it.