DayTrader

If your HP can't do EVERYTHING, I'd suggest finding a new one.

And if you choose to do that......ya might as well throw in "able to do anything and eager to do it for me" into the mix.

someguy71

+1

a new challenge may make you more focused

reggiewayne

Hey MaryJan, thought I'd chime in. I'm currently reading "Drop the Rock". It discussed steps 6 and 7. I have found it very helpful.

Dee74

The real crux of the matter for me was I'd never actually lived with my head going a million miles an hour after I discovered booze and drugs - I always shut it off.

The real problem was I was scared - scared of discomfort, scared of something I couldn't control, and scared of the many things I feared could happen.

Once I stopped trying to numb myself though, I found that actually it wasn't as bad as I'd built it up to be - in fact I began to remember many years in my youth when I'd simply lived with the problem...and it wasn't a problem.

I'm a very bad meditator LOL but I try to find some time each day to do something that sets me at peace - playing guitar does that for me.

Of course the other part of it is now with a racing mind and kits of nervous energy unrestrained, I find I often tend to work too hard, and too long, for my own health and own good.

One day at a time helps me there - I try to set realistic goals and stick to them now - both in what I plan to do each day and in what exactly I'm trying to achieve. Whatever I can't get to I know someone else will, be it God or man

It's been a long process - my partner helps too LOL

I still have my bad days with this, but I wouldn't swap it for the drinking days

D

Nyte Byrd

I called it the 'committee'. And I've heard others refer to it as the same. Those voices in my head that kept asking questions of one another that no one seemed to be able to come up with an answer to. Went on for some time. Especially those times I had a hard time sleeping and I had a LOT of STUFF going on in my life. A LOT of STUFF. Half of it, I was probably concocting in my own head though from 'projecting' at the time.

Well, one night, at about 2:00 AM, all the voices were rehashing and rehashing and rehashing.....and all of a sudden I asked myself....."WHO THE HE11 is listening to this crap anyway?" So I somehow found a way to tell everyone to just STFU and go to sleep.

Since then, I began to fire any of the committee members who are not productive. Come to any meetings just to whine without offering a productive or positive solution to any of the STUFF that may be going on. And I only let one member speak at a time now. I've got the voices down from 56 to about 8 now, so it's gotten better since. Yup! Just terminate all the negative committee members. :rotfxko

Hang in there. Easy does it....the best you know how for now.

Maryjan

Thank you all so much.

Dee74

Just to clear something up - my head going at a million miles an hour was not exclusively an alcoholic thing - it's a Dee thing.

The committee that NyteBird talks about pretty much started to die out for me when I fundamentally accepted I was an alcoholic.

Even me, the master rationaliser, found it difficult to argue against the proposition that every time I drink I'm taking my life and every thing I value in my hands.

sorry for hijacking your thread STE
D

Nyte Byrd

Oh! So THAT'S where all those other committee members came from. You sent them over to MY head when you fired yours!!

coffeenut

Alcoholism doesn't care if you're intelligent or not. It's an equal opportunity killer.

ste

No need to be sorry! Actually thank you for expounding.

ste

When he learned I was a past heroin IV user, he told me I seemed such an intelligent guy, and how could I have EVER allowed myself to...

I tried heroin IV once. I liked it so much it scared me, think my HP put the fear in me. Did coke and pot for too long, but no more. I have to learn my lessons here.

Forwards

Hi ste. In my early alcoholic career I had brain power to spare. A half bottle of scotch through the night would settle my racing mind just enough to write my Masters thesis, prepare a lecture or meet an important deadline.

In the real world of mundane work, I would often drink to lower my level of performance to match the task at hand. A day of boring admin work would zip along with a good few drinks by my side.

Of course, over time the alcoholism progressed. Right now in early recovery I haven't the ability, intellect or confidence to do anything even moderately demanding or creative. I suggest you take action to avoid this if at all possible. Good luck.

ste

Sage advice, you remind me of something I would like to deny, but can only ignore if I drink. Having started a company here five years ago now seems impossible, with beurocracy getting worse. Not to mention if employees see me "impaired", can't they do the same?

SSIL75

Since I quit drinking this has improved immeasurably. As an alcoholic I was chronically, chronically exhausted and perpetually anxious/guilty. Sleep, good busy wholesome days, more sleep ... have all settled my brain down a LOT.

It took about 4-6 weeks.

Untoxicated

My mom says I'm smart...

Dee, I could have written that post of yours. I felt and still feel the same way.

Mark75

I have to wonder a little bit... We have a group of people here at SR who consistently write cogent, insightful and mostly grammatically correct posts... these posts are almost always on point and relevant...

So... we have a group of really smart recovered(ing) people wondering if intelligence is related to alcoholism...



LOL

Demut

I pride myself with intellectual attributes, but this has nothing to do with why I drink (drank). I drank because I'm an alcoholic. period. There is no further explanation.

And "normal", once we're in the rooms of recovery, that word takes on a new meaning. In fact, it has been dropped from my vocabulary list - because as it applies to the human race, normal may not be used in the same sentence.

Don't analyze the fact that you drink (I did this). If you experience negative consequences from alcohol, seek ways to stop.

We drink because we're alcoholics!!!

LaFemme

I make no claims to anything beyond normal intelligence and good education...my talents lie elsewhere

yeahgr8

I've got a high IQ and am very intelligent...i am also very stupid lol

Just a note...even the most dumbest dog of a person usually has a relative or friend who says they are very intelligent...similar to the guy who thinks he can play the piano lol

What are we judging intelligence by? Cos if it is being able to remain in a vicious cycle of addiction for multiple years without asking for help then i would like to now declare myself officially born again dumb;-)