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-   -   Dont know where to start (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/216868-dont-know-where-start.html)

OklaBH 01-03-2011 11:02 AM

Dont know where to start
 
Hi all. My name is Brooks. I have drank consistently for the last 10 years. I had gastric bypass last March. I thought after the surgery I wouldnt be able to tolerate alcohol. WRONG! Not only do I toerate it I drink way more than I ever have before. I dont know where to start in order to stop. Today is the first time I have admitted I have a problem. Thank you in advance. :tyou

Anna 01-03-2011 11:06 AM

Hi and Welcome,

The best way to start is to talk to your dr about detoxing from alcohol because it can be dangerous.

Try to not get overwhelmed with your thoughts, and focus on staying in the moment. Take a look around and read and learn. You will find lots of support here.

Nikkle 01-03-2011 11:12 AM

Welcome Brooks! So glad you found us. Just admitting you have a problem is a huge leap towards a better life! This group is chock full of people with great advice and wisdom who have been where you are now. I encourage you to keep reading and posting. I look forward to hearing more!:ring

Isaiah 01-03-2011 11:19 AM

Hey Brooks.

Ditto what Anna said, first thing is making sure you can quit safely.

I think from there the best thing is just to try something. There are a lot of different resources for people to take who want help in quitting. It's next to impossible to know ahead of time what is going to work best, so I think the trick is simply to start somewhere. Not only is part of a learning process, but simply getting active in some sort of recovery does a lot of good by itself.

And one day at a time. The most standard and holy advice for anyone getting sober. Just take care of what is in front of you in the present.

Best of luck and glad you're here. :)

Nyte Byrd 01-03-2011 11:25 AM

:welcome

The best place to start is usually at the beginning.

And it sounds as if you have already done so in admitting you may have a problem.

Check out the forum. Read some posts. See what seems to be working for others. There is 'victory' in 'surrender'. :herewego

Good luck to you.

least 01-03-2011 11:28 AM

Welcome to the family!:hug: Please do see your doctor for help in getting safely thru the withdrawal process. After that, find or make a support system to keep you sober. I depend on my weekly addiction counseling sessions and this site.:)

OklaBH 01-03-2011 11:36 AM

WOW! Thank you everyone. Im glad I joined. I have felt terribly lonely today just thinking about getting sober. Anytime I offend someone, take my shirt off in public or drunk dial a coworker..the next day I say "thats it Im done with it" By that evening I have a cup full of wine again. Im very disgusted with myself. Thank you again.

keithurbanfan 01-03-2011 11:44 AM

Welcome! I'm new too (day 4) and this site is awesome. I think you'll find it very helpful. Just read. You'll quickly learn you're not alone! :)

ReadyAndAble 01-03-2011 01:43 PM

Welcome aboard! I second what you've already heard: check with your doc, then try something, anything! I recommend reading as much as possible on this site. One reason is it will give you a feel for the different approaches people have followed, what worked for some, what worked for others. Another reason is just to be inspired by all the success stories, and to see how many people have been through the same thing as you. You're never alone at SR!

Dee74 01-03-2011 01:53 PM

You'll find a lot of support here Brooks :)
I agree with everyone else that a Drs visit is often a smart move.

D

OklaBH 01-03-2011 02:42 PM

Im making the appt right now. Im afraid of what he will say.

bettterlife4me 01-03-2011 02:43 PM

Hi Brooks. I am newly sober (32 days) and it's largely due to the support and encouragement here on SR.

Click around and read, post often. There are many stories of success here :)

understated 01-03-2011 02:49 PM

hi brooks,

admitting you have a problem is hard to do but your doctor is not there to judge you and I'm sure that he will applaud you for seeking out help.

artsoul 01-03-2011 04:16 PM

Ditto what understated said. I don't think any of us realize how often doctors deal with drugs and alcohol issues. And I'd bet most of them aren't looking for help, so to have someone facing their problem would be really positive in their eyes.

It's scary to think about sobriety, I know, but take it one day (one hour) at a time. That's the only way I stayed sober those first couple weeks (plus coming here off and on.... at least once a day). We're all in this together and you can do it too - you deserve a better life!:grouphug:

OklaBH 01-04-2011 03:45 AM

Thank you. I didnt drink last night. That is a huge deal for me for a Monday night. Sounds silly huh? I bounced out of bed this morning and dont feel like crap. Im journaling the little positives to keep me going.

OklaBH 01-05-2011 04:19 AM

I havent had a drink since Sunday. I know to most that doesnt seem like a big deal. To me it is. Yesterday my husband called me at work and let me know about a very unexpected money problem. I thought "Im soooo drinking tonight" BUT I didnt. I am bored after work though. I find myself going to bed early so I dont have to deal with wanting a drink. Im really dreading the weekend. I never thought I would say that before. Please someone, tell me this gets somewhat easier.

ronf 01-05-2011 07:59 AM

OklaBH, WELCOME. It does get easier, BUT each day is different, especially in the beginning. For me it was a slow transition from mostly bad days to mostly good. I found face to face support very important. That's where AA came in for me. I'm now in my 15th year and every bit of the struggle was worth it. I am happy, calm, and comfortable in my own skin. You'll read many different approaches to our common goal. The one thread that runs through them all is...NOBODY has done this alone. ASK for help, ASK for support. You'll be amazed at the number of truly wonderful people in this world.

All the best,

Ron

Saliena 01-05-2011 08:40 AM

Hey Brook,

I to had a gastric bypass ... 8 years ago. I lost alittle over 200 pounds and have been able to keep off the weight. But, I did replace one addiction for another. If you talk to your doctor he should be able to explain why drinking effects people who have had a gastric bypass so differently. It has to do with the fact that we don't have a stomach to process the liquior.

But, the best advice I can offer is if you truly want to stop drinking (and it sounds like you do) is to build up a support system of people around you. It is amazing how scared I was when I first did that... telling my doctor, telling my husband, telling my friends (or not telling them)... but, it was 100% needed for me to stay sober. I am only 50 days in but, life does get better. And, it does get easier.

Know you aren't the only one out there... if you want to talk feel free to IM me and I can send you my phone number. It is helpful to have people you can talk to. I remember my first week sober was HELL. I had to walk out of the grocery store at one point and just leave my cart there... because, I had such a need to want to buy wine. But, hey it worked!

Good luck!
Saliena

Kjell 01-05-2011 08:59 AM

Hi Brooks-

Do you think you're an alcoholic? Posting here is a GREAT first step btw.

Kjell

OklaBH 01-05-2011 09:39 AM

Saliena- Oh wow! Thank you! I have lost 95 lbs since March 2010. I drank before the surgery but nothing compared to the way I have been drinking since the surgery. Sadly I read all the warnings about drinking after stomach surgery but I did it anyway. I didnt think it would happen to me. I want to stop and I am making every step in that direction. I have an appointment with my primary care doctor as well as my gastric surgeon. The people that are closest to me in my life (hubby, mother in law, & my BFF) are well aware that I quit and joined this board. They are supportive, happy and non judgemental. I havent said a word to my family because ..well....they all drink (A Lot) Anyhow...I think with the support of this board and my loved ones it should come together. One problem...I want to check out an AA meeting. However...I live and work in a small town. If someone saw me walk in to a meeting or recognized me at a meeting, what would that be like for my kids going to school or my reputation at work? Its a lot for me to process right now. :a108:


Originally Posted by Saliena (Post 2819134)
Hey Brook,

I to had a gastric bypass ... 8 years ago. I lost alittle over 200 pounds and have been able to keep off the weight. But, I did replace one addiction for another. If you talk to your doctor he should be able to explain why drinking effects people who have had a gastric bypass so differently. It has to do with the fact that we don't have a stomach to process the liquior.

But, the best advice I can offer is if you truly want to stop drinking (and it sounds like you do) is to build up a support system of people around you. It is amazing how scared I was when I first did that... telling my doctor, telling my husband, telling my friends (or not telling them)... but, it was 100% needed for me to stay sober. I am only 50 days in but, life does get better. And, it does get easier.

Know you aren't the only one out there... if you want to talk feel free to IM me and I can send you my phone number. It is helpful to have people you can talk to. I remember my first week sober was HELL. I had to walk out of the grocery store at one point and just leave my cart there... because, I had such a need to want to buy wine. But, hey it worked!

Good luck!
Saliena



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