FailPolish

Hello! I'm a mom of two under two at the moment and after I weaned my second child I found myself drinking more and more to cope and try to stay "happy and calm for the kids." I also work full time, so how I found the time to drink a 12 pack every couple days, I don't know.

I'm only 17 days sober but I'm hoping I caught myself before I completely fell down the rabbit hole. My drinking has been binge pattern since I turned 21 (I am 29 now) and other than my pregnancies/breast feeding I've never gone longer than 20 days--Not just sober but without a major binge.

It's hard. My girls are 22 months and 15 months so I don't ever get a chance to rest. I really miss drinking but I know I can't just have a couple beers. I considered starting to smoke cigarettes again, but I really can't afford it and I know since I haven't smoked in 3 years I would be crazy to start again. I haven't attended any meetings because there are very few choices where I live and we do not have any secular support groups. So I just loiter here all day

Heidi76

Hi, I have just joined SR myself and am at the very early stages of abstinance, I have three children myself and can emphasise with many of the reasons for drinking you have mentioned, specifically reconnecting with my husband, who is also travelling this journey with me. Although I drink most nights, generally it is a set amount to ensure I can function the next day or get up during the night, however recently I have felt run down, unable to go to work, overspending or budgeting around alcohol and I know its time to stop. I love my children more than anything and the greatest service I can give them is to be there as they grow both physically and emotionally. I also need replacements for the routine of drinking in the evening after the children go to bed and I need to refocus my social life as so many people I know drink in order to relax, I feel that has been both my greatest obstacle and my greatest excuse. I would also like to see a section specifically for mums.
Best Wishes to you all

Liv2011

Last time I drank was last night. I have a really bad cold and just woke up feeling miserable. I used to say drinking alleviated my anxiety but I've realized it increases it. I started drinking after my daughter was born. Not too much, sometimes daily, sometimes weekly or monthly but this is going on 10 years now. I have been drinking daily for about 2 years now, after my 2nd daughter was born, with some breaks. About one bottle of wine a night. I reached the point where I buy one bottle of wine a day just to prevent myself drinking more than that but one bottle doesn't do much anymore. Anyhow, it just needs to stop and I noticed the posts seem old here - I mean I haven't seen many new ones but maybe I don't know where to look. I plan on using this website a lot. The posts resonate with me. I am going to go out now with my daughter to get a nice dress and shoes. My younger daughter as the older one is in a play tonight. Then we'll go to Starbucks and I'll get some fun drink...I also have a son. Basically, had my first child, my son, and was fine. Very stressed with motherhood but never drank. Then #2 came and I started the drinking but it did start to calm down. I went to nursing school after my divorce (pretty lousy marriage) and I would only buy one bottle of wine a week, on Fridays, as a treat. Then I met someone, got remarried and had one more child. Then the drinking started again...Well, haven't touched anything today. There is no wine in the house although I have some vodka hidden in my ice skating bag. I should just throw it but I'm scared. I need some friendly support.

Vantrina

Hi Liv,

Welcome to SR. Can't say if this particular thread will reactivate, but I encourage you to continue reading and posting throughout SR. You might also want to introduce yourself and post on the "November 2012" thread.
You'll meet others like yourself who are beginning their sober journeys this month.

Wine was my drink of choice too. I'm a mom who works full time, so that presented some challenges. With the help of those from SR and utilizing the adage of taking "one day at a time" I'm now at 11 months & a handful of days sober. Could not have done it without the support from the "November 2011" group and others who have posted throughout the SR community.

Some days are easy and some remain a struggle, but, like I said, one day at a time. Everyone is different but during my early days of sobriety I found my body strongly craving for sugar to replace the alcohol. I drank a lot of lemonade and soda w/seltzer (in my favorite glass) and gave my self permission to eat whatever snack I craved, (which at the time was one particular type of cookie). I made the effort to otherwise nourish & rest my body as best I could.

As time passed, those sugar cravings ceased and I found myself a steady drinker of seltzer, sparkling waters, and flavored teas. I was a coffee w/serious sugar drinker when I started the sober process..now that more time has passed I actually have a very low sugar diet overall, which is amazing to me.

Liv, no doubt this sobriety thing can only be done one day at a time. Don't think too far ahead, just deal with the present. Focus on today and not drinking. You'll get there.

Keep it simple, especially in the beginning. Although I am no expert, I found that I could not keep alcohol in the house. I no longer cook with it. My recommendation is to get rid of whatever stash you have… Go out and buy some new sodas or sparkling waters or teas….experiment. Make it fun, like you are treating yourself. Buy some new snacks to help you through. Give your self permission to resort to your comfort foods, if necessary. Most importantly, read here. Read, read, read.

I wish you well on your journey. You have already taken a major and very positive step by posting here. You can do this.

Liv2011

Thank you! I will join the Class of Nov 2012 for my journey. The only booze I have in the house is a bottle - about 1/2 a bottle of vodka in my skating bag. I used to be much worse. I had it hidden all over. That said, I will get rid of the vodka, I just need my husband to be out of the house. I also bought fizzy flavored waters and etc at Walgreens. We skipped Starbucks because my daughter turns 3 this month and she was a bit wild at Walgreens, so I also got a frappucino in the cold drinks section. The worst part of the evening was when my husband walked in and he could tell I didn't want him to see what site I was on. So I showed him and I told him I really want to quit this time and he just looked pained, like he didn't believe I would really quit. I think he's pretty much given up on the hope that I will stop drinking. I plan on reading lots of posts here. It's amazing how similar people's stories are to mine. Lots of the posts sound exactly like my struggles!

Delilah1

As a mother if three who also had a long relationship with wine I can totally relate to your post. I hit the 30 day mark today, and celebrated it with a slumber party for my middle kiddo.

This is the longest I have been sober in five years, since my youngest was born. I was sober throughout all three if my pregnancies, and now I am determined to remain sober so I do not miss out on all of the moments that go by too fast. I know there were many nights I wasn't fully present with them. I felt like I had earned a glass of wine aft working all day, and then running to practices, doing homework, dinners... However, my glass became a bottle, and then a bigger bottle.

If you enjoy reading check out Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife.

Glad you are on SR, I have found many moms just like me and you, and it is nice to know we are not alone!!

Keep up the good work!!!!

Liv2011

I feel the same as you. I would get 3 kids off to school...and mind you, this year I have one in preschool, one in elementary school and one in middle school. Then after it's helping with homework, running them to activities, cooking dinner, laundry...I would pour the wine because I earned it! but all it was really doing was increasing my anxiety level, causing me to overreact about things...ignore my husband because I just didn't have time left for him and etc. Thankfully, I never drank during pregnancy, never had a hard time with that as I found after I had the baby to be the hard time. The isolation with a newborn...the crying, the sleep deprivation. Booze was something that was going to make me feel good. It's been hard to find the strength to quit since my 3rd child was born because she still doesn't sleep through the night...but it's better now. She will turn 3 this month and she wakes about 2 times a night. I had a tubal so 3 kids is the final number. Oh and I had postpartum depression after all 3 babies were born - but I feel fine now. The depression is gone.

ForMeForThem

Liv, I've read through many of the old posts on this thread. Thanks for reviving it, because it really helped reading them, many of the experiences, including yours, are just like my own.

I am a mother of 3, ages 14, 10 and 7, and I am on day 8 today, starting my 2nd week!
What started out as 1 glass of wine to relax while cooking dinner, ended up being 1-2 bottles that were taking over my life, I still can't believe I let that happen.

I'm determined this time and know I need to make this change. The support from people on this site, reading other people's experiences and knowing I'm not alone have helped me tremendously. I used to think I must be the only mother who would behave this way, but knowing there are plenty of us, struggling with the same thing, has made me a little less hard on myself, which is helping me to stay on the right path.

I saw you joined the November class...let's stay in touch.

Vantrina

Isn't that the truth. I completely agree.
Have a good and sober day everyone.