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Help needed

Old 01-02-2011, 10:31 AM
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Help needed

Im scared that Im gonna die soon. I have 3 children and I dont know where to turn.

I am looking for immediate advice.

Thank you in advance
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Old 01-02-2011, 10:36 AM
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Hi,
Were here for you. Feel free to open up.

April
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Old 01-02-2011, 10:42 AM
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Thank you so much...I considered phoning samaratins but I couldnt. Im 33. My children are 9, 10 and 16 months. Different fathers. So complicated but I was a good person. Thing is, I start drinking wine at 4.30pm when im cooking for kids.Sometimes ive been known to down a glass or two before hand depending on circumstances. Ive drank up to 2 bottles by time I go to bed.Its been like this for last 9 months since my babys dad left. Obviously I think im doing ok but how can I be? I hardly eat. I weigh 7 stone. I went to doc but he put me intouch with healthlink and they mentioned social services and rehab and I dont want that.
So much to exlpain. sorry for babbling x
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Old 01-02-2011, 10:44 AM
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First thing you have to know is you are not alone.
There are all kinds of good people and resources here to help you through this rough time.
Find a meeting and get some face to face support if you can.
My prayers are with you.
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Old 01-02-2011, 10:44 AM
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Hi, Hang in there - We're here for you! There are lots of people on the site that have a wealth of advice, words of wisdom and sharing so please do feel free to open up so we can specifically help.
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Old 01-02-2011, 10:46 AM
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Thank you Kenny for your Prayers, however I find it difficult to put my faith in the resources around me for fear of losing my children. I am a single mum x
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Old 01-02-2011, 10:53 AM
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Its kinda hard to accept that the people extending their arms arnt the people close to you but strangers. Did I mention I tried to tell my mum? She lives 4 hours away. I dont drive. Neither does she. I see her in me when Im pissed and I look iin mirror. I hate what i see. And I hate the fact that I am turning into her. My poor poor beautiful children. Its for them that I feel so sad and pure hatred towards myself. I know they need me, I know I am all they have but still I cant not gulp down that glass of ******* god damn wine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why arnt they enough? my children are the ONLY reason im here, so why cant I resist it?
please x
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Old 01-02-2011, 10:55 AM
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Welcome KellyA - It's great to have you with us. I'm so sorry for your troubles. You did the right thing by coming here - you aren't alone any more.

No matter how complicated things seem, someone else has had a similar situation.
Be proud of yourself for reaching out and wanting a better life for yourself & your family. Keep talking to us, we care.
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Old 01-02-2011, 11:00 AM
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Sceptical isnt the word. I thought I would be frowned upon ans made to feel worse than I do already. I dont know why. The tears are flowing. Is it relief or trepidation of whats to come? or maybe the rose (sorry). Thank you. Sometimes I think puffy eyes in the morning can mean you got alot off your chest the night before x
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Old 01-02-2011, 11:05 AM
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Welcome Kelly. You will find a lot of support here. I know you're afraid to reach out to resources, but it's what I would recommend. I'm guessin by some of the things you wrote you may not live in the States? Forgive me if I am wrong. Here though, they do try to keep families together. I can't think of time children were taken from a mother that was trying to get help for alcohol problems.

Good luck.
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Old 01-02-2011, 11:06 AM
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KellyA, I found this message board 10 days ago after being drunk in front of my kids. I knew in my heart that I had to stop. Keep posting. Stay sober today. Get rid of all your wine and try to put your head on the pillow sober tonight. We are here...I have now been sober for 10 days and I hope to stay that way. It is hard, but you can do it. Just do it today.
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Old 01-02-2011, 11:08 AM
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Welcome to SR! You'll find a lot of support here.
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Old 01-02-2011, 11:10 AM
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I think it's relief, Kelly. You have taken a huge step and now know what you must do. I remember coming here and feeling the same - scared, but relieved and excited that I could actually have a whole new life. Drinking was no longer fun or an escape - it was a living hell. It takes us so long to admit it, and to see that we've lost control.
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Old 01-02-2011, 11:14 AM
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I'm 7 days sober. A couple of weeks before I quit, I was drinking a bottle of wine a night. This one evening, I had had two glasses of wine and was putting up the christmas tree when my boyfriend called me and chucked me. I got up from my chair and poured the rest of the bottle down the sink. He didn't even know that I had a drinking problem. It didn't matter - I knew that I needed to stop to reclaim my life. So I stopped drinking during the week and then when I realised that that wouldn't work, I quit full stop. You can do it!
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Old 01-02-2011, 11:15 AM
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Im not one for all that text talk but my first reaction was OMG at the words of support received there. Thank you so much. I get my 2 older kids back at 6pm tomorrow, just under 23 hours ( i think). I wont not drink...and why lie? I have 1/3 or cava here which i know I will do. Cant ever see it stopping. Ive been having lots of physical symptoms, vomiting in morning, bruising everywhere, fatigue, aching bones, blood in stool, .....just feel different. Aching sides....but then i drink and they all go away. Then I feel fine. And all I want to do is go to sleep.....
Its hard to accept what ive become x
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Old 01-02-2011, 11:30 AM
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Kelly, I'm so glad you found this place. Sometimes, when you have no one to turn to and you can come here and get support, its the extra push needed to start making changes. After all, if we have done so, you can too. I'm a mom, and I'm sure there are other moms here that can relate to your feelings about your kids, and wanting to be the best you can be for them. One day at a time hon.
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Old 01-02-2011, 11:37 AM
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Kelly I didn't quit right after finding this place either. I kept drinking for awhile, but I had taken he first step by admitting what I'd become, and after reading and posting for awhile I finally got the courage to stop for good. That was almost 3 yrs. ago, and I'd been drinking my whole life. You can do it too. You feel miserable now, so why not see how it feels to be rid of it?
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Old 01-02-2011, 11:48 AM
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Welcome!!! Yep, former drunk almost everyday Mommy here. 30 days sober for me and I am so thankful all the head knowledge that didn't keep me sober, is finally becoming heart knowledge and a desire for something better. The key difference this time, is I am actively seeking support from friends, family, meetings and the wonderful people here. It took a recent DUI for me to finally have enough. Like I always say, God knows your heart and I am confident He will give you just what you need if you just reach out and ask.
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Old 01-02-2011, 12:14 PM
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Kelly,

Welcome!

Please remember that alcoholism is a disease and not a character defect.

Are you ready to stop drinking? I hope so, because this disease will get worse unless you stop.

You are worth the hard work involved in living a sober life, and so are your children.

There is lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.
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Old 01-02-2011, 12:38 PM
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Kelly We've all been there and some of us are still there ...

I've had all the physical symptoms you've mentioned. You'll feel MUCH better when you've stopped drinking.

You can't stop bc you are an alcoholic like the rest of us. Its not only about the alcohol but also it is about the disease. You need help. You can totally do it.

I'm in a crumby way too. I plan to take my own advice. Alcohol does not make any of it better. Putting your head in check does.
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