Never drinking again, no really! Confessions on a binge alcoholic.
 

I've joined this forum because I feel like I need some support on my journey to quitting drinking. I've quit for months at a time before. Every really bad thing that has happened in my life has been directly tied to either my drinking or my family's drinking (one DUI, one MIC, date rape(i guess?)...The list goes on. I don't seem to have a hard time not drinking...but when I do I often get black-out drunk. Last night I hurt someone I love. I grabbed some other guys ass in front of him and then proceeded to be mean to him on our walk home. I'm not a mean drunk usually. This is a guy I just started seeing...I feel blessed he's still willing to stay with me.

Currently I work 1-3 days a week as a cocktail waitress and have been drinking about 1 day a week. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to quit that job to really successfully quit drinking, which is fine. I'm a year away from completing my masters degree in business. Does anyone else work in a bar and had success in quitting drinking?

I guess I will continue to post on this forum in an attempt to be held accountable. I really want this relationship to work...

Day 1 and counting (this isn't a resolution but rather a decision based on hurting someone I love).

Happy New Years!

Welcome ReadyNow! Sam Malone is the only sober bartender I have ever known. I had to disassociate from anything to do with alcohol..I wish you the best! Hope to hear more from you.

Welcome to the family and congrats on deciding to live a sober life.:)

Welcome! Just wanted to wish you the best in your decision. You'll find lots of support here. Not drinking isn't always the easy thing to do in a given moment, but it's so worth it. Definitely makes the next day a lot easier when you're not filled with regret, guilt, etc.

Welcome to SR readynow907 :)

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Welcome!

Sober and working in a bar is doable (smart...you around?) But I would look for alternatives if possible:)

Happy new years.

Welcome to SR readynow!

Welcome to SR!

Glad you're here, ready! You're making a really good decision - it will be a relief not wondering what you did the night before (or regretting it). There's a lot of experience and hope here, so keep reading and posting!:grouphug:

Welcome. I was a binge drinker too. I'm glad you found us here.

Hi. Even when I over drank 1 time every 3 weeks it was too damaging. You've come to the right place.

Hi, I am back again after a year or so absence. Its the morning of day 2 for me and almost 3am.. Cant sleep so I thought I would post. I too WAS a binge drinker. My husband too. He just stumbled in from the neighbors house making all kinds of noise. I felt mad at him, but its usually me stumbling around. I know this is not easy, but I made it 44 days sober the last time. This forum is a huge help. Just need to keep checking in and reading. I am so full of bad self talk and feeling down about myself. I know its the alcohol. I have a blessed life and great family. My dad passed away last Feb and going through normal grieving, but it sure felt better to drink to cope, especially on the Holidays. I need to set some goals for myself and stick to them. Its going to feel wonderful to wake up tomorrow with a clear head and a whole day in front of me to get things done. Thats usually when I want a drink..after I feel better from the last hangover and get things accomplished that I need to do. I also would drink sometimes out of complete boredom..how dumb is that? "I have nothing to do, so I think I will make a drink." I think I will make a list of other things to do when that feeling comes. Thanks for listening and I would welcome any tips.

In my experience, binge drinking is a rotten way to have "fun". In a way, it's more depressing than constant daily drinking because you have an awareness at some level that it can be avoided and you've let yourself down by falling into the trap. And the hangover and remorse pattern you describe is one that I've experienced and desperately wanted to be free from.

On another topic, you say you're looking for a job to support you through college and I can sense that you're troubled about working in a bar. When I was at college, I took on work at old people's homes and residential centres for children with autism, cerebral palsy and/or behavioural problems. It was really satisfying work, it paid MUCH better than working as a waiter or barman and it gave me a much broader perspective on life.

Not saying that's necessarily a path you want to follow but there are other options out there away from the barroom!

Welcome to SR. Keep posting and we'll do our best to support each other.

Good Luck - I wish you well. I spent New Year's Eve in a cocktail bar with friends and the bartenders were wonderful concocting fruity cocktails for me so that I would enjoy my non-alcoholic drinks without appearing as if I was the odd ball. I live in Edinburgh and not drinking is a foreign concept to most especially if I chose to be out about town on New Year's Eve. So as far as working in a bar, not sure if this helps, but at least you are in an environment where you could make yourself a delicious non-alcoholic drink without anybody hassling you to have a drink. I say this because if you are forced to continue working there to earn money whilst you are looking for a new job, you could create a project for yourself of promoting non-alcoholic drinks so people like us can see these types of drinks on the menu (if they aren't already). Surely, designated drivers would enjoy them too! Hope it all works out for you.

I'm a binger, too. It's horrible missing half your night's memories and trying to re-piece them together through phone texts. The shame and dread I experience when waking up is ridiculous. Why go through it??

Being sober will be nice. You won't act outside of your normal self. You won't make impulsive decisions led by drink.

Hi there! Working in an environment of alcohol and maintaining sobriety is very difficult. Look for alternatives, I play music in a band and know how difficult dealing with a drunk public can be when u are sober. It is a moment like that which could trigger a setback! Gud luck with your studies!

Welcome! I like your plan "never again," why settle for any less? ;)

I have known some people who have gotten sober while working as a bartender or server. One of my dear friends still works at a bar and she's got a year and a half of sobriety. It is possible to get sober in any environment, but not always easier. I'd say definitely look for a good job elsewhere, but just don't wait for that before you take sobriety by the horns.

Glad you're here.

Welcome to SR. :)

readynow907...:wave:

I tried to keep working around alcohol after I decided to quit.
It simply did not work for me....so I took to an office position.

Less money...less stress and normal hours worked to my benefit.
I tayed sober and connected to AA.

All my best

Day 2! I think the emotional hangover continues (I get depressed regardless of whether I do something stupid while I am drinking or not as a result of hangovers). Physically I feel pretty good though! I will probably get a workout in today which should help on the emotional side too.

Booblu: I do the same....drink because I'm bored. It's totally dumb. I feel like binge drinking can almost be harder to quit that daily drinking (although I wouldn't really know) because it's almost more acceptable. I become complacent and think I can have a drink or two like a normal person and people don't think I have a problem since I don't drink all the time. My parents are both binge drinkers too and it troubled me deeply when I was younger. I remember vowing to never drink....it's time to stick to that vow, I'm almost 27 and have had a 10 year relationship with alcohol.

I'm 90% certain I'm going to quit the bar gig. I am lucky enough that my dad has volunteered to take care of my bills for my last year of my masters degree. It's strange, I almost have an easier time going to bars with friends and not drinking (the yummy virgin cocktails idea is a good one) than working at my own bar and not drinking (I swear the bartenders like to get me drunk while I am working which is soooo embarrassing).

I really appreciate all the support everyone. I'm looking forward to being part of the 30 day, 60 day, and forever club. I feel pretty committed right now, hopefully I can keep that up!