LeadHatter

I might do bluey i have just found a website whereby you can rent movies legit-it my conscience was shouting at me that watching for free wasn't very noble

today was a roller coaster up down up down police, threats of slashing all manner of crud from the nutter in my block - no Dee i cant get moved - he is supposedly getting evickted and its all bad news-

i just re-edited this to mention that i am on day 85

Manz

Thanks all for your kind thoughts.

I am getting a little stressed, as I am flying down to my aunts funeral tomorrow. I will be staying with my folks, who are daily evening drinkers, not their problem of course... but.

And am also 100% sure knowing my cousins and uncle, that there will be a booze filled wake for my Aunntie. Gah!

Yoday I am 99% sure that i will not drink, but am fearful that the possibility of all that alcohol in front of me, mixed with the emotional rollercoaster of my aunts death, seing my extended family after many years and the pressure from my parents to sort my life out(although being made redundant is truly not my fault!) will push me to drink.

I will be guarding against it, will breathe, meditate a little... and iif need be.. i will walk away for a while.

Isn't if funny at 2.5 months, this will be my first true test, and the cards are stacked against me.

Maybe that will just be enough motivation for me to say... **** you.... not again! I am better than this.

Phew.... i hadn't realised I was so worried about that. Good to get it out.

Keep on Rockin my Jan crew.

Dee74

If it helps Manz, just think of me doing this



I believe you can do this

See you when you get back...
D

LeadHatter

Manz i am sorry hon.

I had a pleasant enough wake up call today-was good since it was a confirmation that my new habits are good and effective

MIBluebird

Manz - You are better than this and I believe you can get through this sober! This is just one of many situations when alcohol will be a huge temptation. Emotional situations are a definite trigger to go to that numb place...but isn't it a great feeling (most of the time) not to be in that numb place anymore? This weekend I found it so gratifying to be sober and look around and wonder what was going on in everyone else's head. Everyone has their demons but we are choosing to do something about ours.

Take care my January friend and have faith in yourself because we all do.

MIBluebird

Congratulations on 85 days Kevin...that is amazing!

LeadHatter

Well back right here. Been blowing my mind with my codependency recovery lately and had some awful days, see this post http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...1-post483.html for more information.

Oh and im at day 87, noboubt i will make further improvements today

please if anyone here is able to offer support please offer it because i would like some. Im not freaking out or anything i just feel like im doing this pretty much on my own feels like i am jumping through hoops to become a better man and i still dont feel safe, for whatever reason my mentality still wants external ego massage.

Please dont mention AA though D - online AA now that may be different. I have been on recoverychat.com so trying to get more support but it takes time and more effort to find the new support - my family dont even know yet about the police being round on sunday thats how strethed those relationships are sorry D thngs will look brighter i just wanna break man

LeadHatter

Further to the above - im done with feeling done in - here is how i am now
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/2915208-post8.html

thinking of you manz

Manz

I'm back, I didn't drink. Hard, emotionally exhausting and stressful for many many reasons(mothers! for one! all you girls will understand).

I flew in today, been packing for hours....move day after next(its 9pm Thurs here)...that folks is all i got.

Kev...almost 90 days. Awesome my friend.

MIB thanks hun for your support, i do normally rock.

Hope everyone else is still rocking on with us.

Dee74

Glad you're back Manz - and I'm glad you kept your focus.
good luck with the move too - sending you good juju

D

MIBluebird

Such good news Manz, I have been thinking about you. Getting through an emotional situation like that and staying sober is awesome and you definitely rock!

Good luck with the move...I've moved 8 times in the last 10 years and it sucks big time so I'm sending positive thoughts your way that it will go smoothly. Hugs....

Manz

Dee..... good juju :rotfxko

MIB thanks hun...i could feel the good vibes all the way over here! How are you going??

Anyone heard from Magic?

I love this place and the support.

Must keep packing, ran outta boxes....

keep it up my friends

MIBluebird

Just got back from Yoga and feeling pretty zen. I can't balance for the life of me but I'm weaning myself off of Xanax and I feel "off" most of the time. I don't know if that is from tapering off of the Xanax or just my natural state.

This place is great...it's what keeps me sane most days. Not that the people on here are really sane. :rotfxko

Manz

OMG I am totally exhausted!!!

Moved house today, cleaned house today....hours of hard work in the hot hot sun. Can barely move...and when do...it hurts.... oh dear tomorrow will be worse.

I am incredibly sad to have had to move, and to have to move in with Sis. Grateful have a sis to move in with. But still feels bad at this point in my life.

Had a fight with ex about our son... already. walking home I thought about drinking. Must be because I am exhausted, and very emotional. Wont drink, but annoyed the thought was there.


This is an eternal battle I think, and always will be. Glad I can recognise the thoughts as RUBBISH and send the idea packing.

Hope you are all doing well my friends.

MIB.. thanks for friending me!!

(using emoticons to try to cheer myself up.... not working! )

Dee74

I hate moving house too - and it does exhaust you Manz.

make sure you're keeping fluids up and eating properly and getting as much rest as you can - sometimes any one of those factors can contribute to a craving.

and no we're not that sane MIB lol

D

Dee74

Time for part 2 guys - come join us in the Daily Support Forum

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...11-pt-2-a.html

D