I will make it back
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,125
I will make it back
That is what our friend Kevin told us when he showed up drunk to our Thursday night wanderers group on December 24th. We had heard that before. He had this thing of staying sober a couple of months and then going back out. He had been diagnosed with diabetes within the last year and we warned him if you keep drinking like this it is going to kill you. He didn't want to hear it. He had been in detox/rehab again and again.
We were in contact with him over the weekend. He was still drinking away and didn't want help. I talked to him on Monday and he said he really feels like he is going to be able to get it together this time. He just needs a few more days and will come back after New Years. After no one heard from him on Tuesday and into Wednesday we went to check on him Wednesday night. Knocked on the door - no answer. The door was unlocked. Walked in and it was quiet, eerily quiet. Called his name - no answer. Walk to the bedroom and there he was lying in bed DEAD. 43 years old. His life ruined by alcohol.
I heard it early on in recovery. Alcohol will destroy everything you love. It was so true for him. 5 Years ago he was happily married. He had 3 beautiful kids. Lived in a very nice house. Had a great job and made over 125 grand a year. Lost his job due to drinking. Started isolating at home in the basement drinking. His wife ended up kicking him out because he was so unpredictable. She and the kids began to fear him. Divorce soon followed. His kids no longer wanted to talk to him. He went in and out of rehabs. Lost everything. Tuesday December 28th he paid the ultimate price.
I guess the only solace is that he is no longer suffering. Both his parents are still alive and we had the pleasure of telling them. The wake with all of the family there is going to be tough. I am never EVER going to be able to erase the picture in my head of my friend lying there dead. It hurts to see the devastation alcoholism causes. It sure as hell was a great reminder to me of why I don't want to drink today. Those days where I think - maybe I wasn't that bad? Come on just have one? I will make it back if I pick up a drink! Kevin thought the same thing. Thought he was invincible. Thought he had unlimited chances. Thought bad things like that only happened to other people. He was wrong. R.I.P. buddy.
We were in contact with him over the weekend. He was still drinking away and didn't want help. I talked to him on Monday and he said he really feels like he is going to be able to get it together this time. He just needs a few more days and will come back after New Years. After no one heard from him on Tuesday and into Wednesday we went to check on him Wednesday night. Knocked on the door - no answer. The door was unlocked. Walked in and it was quiet, eerily quiet. Called his name - no answer. Walk to the bedroom and there he was lying in bed DEAD. 43 years old. His life ruined by alcohol.
I heard it early on in recovery. Alcohol will destroy everything you love. It was so true for him. 5 Years ago he was happily married. He had 3 beautiful kids. Lived in a very nice house. Had a great job and made over 125 grand a year. Lost his job due to drinking. Started isolating at home in the basement drinking. His wife ended up kicking him out because he was so unpredictable. She and the kids began to fear him. Divorce soon followed. His kids no longer wanted to talk to him. He went in and out of rehabs. Lost everything. Tuesday December 28th he paid the ultimate price.
I guess the only solace is that he is no longer suffering. Both his parents are still alive and we had the pleasure of telling them. The wake with all of the family there is going to be tough. I am never EVER going to be able to erase the picture in my head of my friend lying there dead. It hurts to see the devastation alcoholism causes. It sure as hell was a great reminder to me of why I don't want to drink today. Those days where I think - maybe I wasn't that bad? Come on just have one? I will make it back if I pick up a drink! Kevin thought the same thing. Thought he was invincible. Thought he had unlimited chances. Thought bad things like that only happened to other people. He was wrong. R.I.P. buddy.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
I'm very sorry for your loss, Marcus. That's a terrible tragedy. My prayers are with Kevin's family and friends.
I've been without the bottle for 9 months, but unfortunately in that time span I've already heard numerous similar tales. People who say they really want to quit and then end up taking 1 drink too many. I'm very thankful for every day without a drink, because I know my next drink may lead to the end of me.
Thank you very much for sharing, and I hope you are able to get through this tragedy. I pray that the new year brings many blessings for you.
I've been without the bottle for 9 months, but unfortunately in that time span I've already heard numerous similar tales. People who say they really want to quit and then end up taking 1 drink too many. I'm very thankful for every day without a drink, because I know my next drink may lead to the end of me.
Thank you very much for sharing, and I hope you are able to get through this tragedy. I pray that the new year brings many blessings for you.
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Orlando, Florida
Posts: 214
So sorry for your loss, my friend. It's a real gutbuster when you lose a close friend.
One of my two best friends was just laid to rest from losing a short battle with liver cancer. He was only 55, married with a young teenager daughter, he had so wanted to fight longer to be around for. But he just couldn't stop drinking, even knowing he had HEP C, like myself.
He realized in the end and his last words to me were how he messed up his life and how sorry he was. We grew up together. We played stickball in the schoolyard together. We joined the Navy together. And we got high and drank together.
And somehow, being told 'some of us have to go out and die, so some of us can live' just doesn't cut it. He still haunts me in my dreams. But he will always live on in my heart. But I have to still be willing to be there for the ones who are willing to accept the help offered.
Thanks for sharing what you did. Hopefully some others will realize nothing ever good comes out of going back to drinking.
One of my two best friends was just laid to rest from losing a short battle with liver cancer. He was only 55, married with a young teenager daughter, he had so wanted to fight longer to be around for. But he just couldn't stop drinking, even knowing he had HEP C, like myself.
He realized in the end and his last words to me were how he messed up his life and how sorry he was. We grew up together. We played stickball in the schoolyard together. We joined the Navy together. And we got high and drank together.
And somehow, being told 'some of us have to go out and die, so some of us can live' just doesn't cut it. He still haunts me in my dreams. But he will always live on in my heart. But I have to still be willing to be there for the ones who are willing to accept the help offered.
Thanks for sharing what you did. Hopefully some others will realize nothing ever good comes out of going back to drinking.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Sending prayers...... I'm so sorry to hear this, yet glad you posted. It reminds me that even one night of drinking isn't worth it. We never think it could get "that bad," yet it does... I'm so sorry, Marcus.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Marcus..wow. Deepest Condolence..to you..and to Kevins family. Your post is a grim reminder of how deadly this disease is. I too have lost a dear friend..just happened in November. I had gotten a call from him awhile back. He used to work where I do. Just called to update me on everything. I caught on pretty early in the conversation that it was a drink and dial. He was depressed. Wife left..kids would no longer speak to him. It went on for quite awhile. Flash forward to November. Got an email from a co-worker that they had found him dead. This is shortly before his 53rd birthday. I just figured car wreck. He was pretty much drunk all the time. He had been to rehab but it just didn't work. He was for sure..a trouble struggling soul. Found out later how he died. He had died alone..choked on his own vomit. Won't go into the other two people that are now dead due to alcohol related cr@p. I have this intense anger now. I HATE ALCOHOL! Anyway..this happened about a month after I quit drinking. BUT everyone met to suck down suds in his memory. I didn't. I didn't get the logic of that. Thanks for your post Marcus..
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
It's amazing to think he thought it would be ok to drink and come back after the New Year and then he died.
I just heard this in a meeting Thursday night. Someone was saying that people think that they can drink and come back anytime...that we always have another drunk, but that we may not have another recovery.
This is a sad story about your friend. I am sorry to read it, but thankful you posted it. It proves how easily we can die from drinking. It's almost unbelievable to think sometimes that this actually can and does kill people. There is an important lesson to be learned from this. Thank you.
I just heard this in a meeting Thursday night. Someone was saying that people think that they can drink and come back anytime...that we always have another drunk, but that we may not have another recovery.
This is a sad story about your friend. I am sorry to read it, but thankful you posted it. It proves how easily we can die from drinking. It's almost unbelievable to think sometimes that this actually can and does kill people. There is an important lesson to be learned from this. Thank you.
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