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Please help me!!

Old 12-31-2010, 03:39 PM
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Please help me!!

Earlier today, my incredibly dangerously abusive huband poured a bottle of champagne over my head and yelled "Happy Fu*&$ng New Year you stupid C*&t" I have spent my day a wreck!! Do I have to start counting my sobriety days over again? I have been trying my best to take all of the advice that you have been giving to me. It's really difficult. I guess he has me beaten down. I'm losing the strength to even bother anymore. I am not ignoring the wonderful advice you all have given to me, honestly. It's just that there is more to it. I'm not sure what I am asking for right now.... Maybe some support?
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Old 12-31-2010, 03:46 PM
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How awful! ((((HUGS)))) Of course you don't have to start over. What a terrible thing for him to do. Are you sure you are safe? Maybe you should call someone or go somewhere.
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Old 12-31-2010, 03:48 PM
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I can't. I don't want ot bore you with the details. I can't leave my house. I'm not allowed to have friends. The only reason why I am able to talk here is because he thinks I am talking about my alcohol problem. I tried to leave last night and he locked me in the closet, bound and gagged.
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Old 12-31-2010, 03:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Britta View Post
I tried to leave last night and he locked me in the closet, bound and gagged.
Call the police or use the internet to get in touch with them.
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Old 12-31-2010, 03:50 PM
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Noone should have to put up with that kind of treatment Britta.
and this
he locked me in the closet, bound and gagged.
is a criminal act.

Please seek help.

Here's the link to the links I posted last time....there's help out there...but you have to reach out for it.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2808920

D
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Old 12-31-2010, 03:54 PM
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I know you have generously given me so much support information on how to get help. I am trying to get out. I have used some of the numbers. I can't do internet searches... He is a computer geek.... He has the police in his back pocket. I have to be sure he can't touch me when I make my escape or he will kill me for sure. I just really wanted some love. Thanx!!! You guys are great!!
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Old 12-31-2010, 04:07 PM
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Well, it sounds like it's safe to say, you won't be one of those nauseating women on Wheel of Fortune I see on TV who are always mentioning their WONDERFUL husband Tom, or Bill, or Jerry. Gawd, I hate when my wife watches that show.

I am sorry you have had to endure such undeserved abuse.

Being you mention it is a long story, I will have to assume there are more problems related.

Being in a marriage that wasn't exactly the easiest to stay sober in, trust me, I sure can identify, and it brings me back to when I had 30 days in 1987. Although I was not pounded with champagne over my head, what I did experience was her reacting in a violent huff, smashing a glass in the sink because she misunderstood something I said, took the kids, kicked her foot through our front door smashing the wood in and leaving me sitting there.

Now, you KNOW what I wanted to do. I was a heroin user for 18 years, too. But I called this counselor in recovery I knew who was in AA I knew. I had been going to the meetings. I had just come out of my second rehab a month prior and all I got for support from her was 'thanks for leaving me with the kids' and 'you may as well go use, cause you're always going to those meetings'. This guy told me to go to the next meeting at 8:00 which was fairly soon. I don't know how I brought myself to go. I don't even know how I brought myself to even call him other then remembering the THINK IT THROUGH slogan. I REALLY just wanted to go use and ease the pain. BUT I went to the meeting. When it was my turn to share, all I remember is pounding the table, and yelling..."I don't even know what the F I am doing here and I told everyone what had just happened. The guy next to me got up for more coffee. I must have made him real nervous, cause I noticed when he came back he went to sit somewhere else.

Well, a few people shared how they were shocked I was even able to come to the meeting under such duress and how proud they were of me. Later, I couldn't even remember the last time my own father told me how proud he was of me. I think maybe some of them were questioning their own fortitude whether they could have brought themselves to come to the meeting or not.

After the meeting, I had calmed down a bit, and outside some older guy came up to me and asked how I felt now.

Grudgingly, I said to him,,,,,'well,,,a LITTLE better'. He said back to me.....'the nerve of those people'. I asked him what he meant by that. He said....'there you were in a perfectly good miserable mood, and they went and ruined it on ya.'

Thank God for AA and the ones with a sense of humor who helped me get through those hard times.

Not sure why you are wondering why this would count as a slip if champage was being poured on you. You weren't looking up at the time, were you?

Hang in there.
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Old 12-31-2010, 04:08 PM
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This is either the worst joke I've ever seen or a truly disturbed person. If what you are saying is true. Post you phone number on the comment line and I'll call the damn cops for you. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment. You are way beyond a support group hun, you need someone to come and put this guy behind bars. Also, just go to tools, internet options, and clear history - then he can't track what you've done.

I'm serious btw... Post your phone number or address and we can help.
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Old 12-31-2010, 04:10 PM
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I also believe you need help immediately.
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Old 12-31-2010, 04:18 PM
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Originally Posted by reggiewayne View Post
This is either the worst joke I've ever seen or a truly disturbed person. If what you are saying is true. Post you phone number on the comment line and I'll call the damn cops for you. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment. You are way beyond a support group hun, you need someone to come and put this guy behind bars. Also, just go to tools, internet options, and clear history - then he can't track what you've done.

I'm serious btw... Post your phone number or address and we can help.
I understand your well intentions, however,
I am not sure of this forum's policy but it may be against their rules or advisement to post personal information like that. Something I would be in agreement as well.

Other than using PM (Private Messaging) it is never a good idea to post personal information on any forum board as it can be abused by the wrong person who can obtain it. I say this from my own experience from previous years of moderating another forum.
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Old 12-31-2010, 04:21 PM
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I am seriously disturbed by this. Whatever you decide to do, I hope it does not involve drinking again. Does he get drunk and pass out? I am surprised someone that controlling would let you anywhere near a computer. My 1st husband would not allow me in the front yard to water the flowers because he said I was advertising myself. He would not let me look out the car window because I was just checking out guys. The one and only time he ever laid hands on me, he pushed over the recliner I was sitting in. The moment he went out of the house to run an errand, I put our 1 year old son in his little red wagon and walked to the nearest business, a real estate office and they called the Women's Crisis Support Team, who came and picked us up and took us to a safe house. The next chance you get, go! You don't have to call the cops, there are organizations out there ready to save you. God bless.
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Old 12-31-2010, 04:30 PM
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"I tried to leave last night and he locked me in the closet, bound and gagged."

What???

There's nobody you can e-mail to get you out of there at least for the night? friend, relative??
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Old 12-31-2010, 04:32 PM
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I understand people's concern, but lets all calm down and remain reasonable.
No posting of phone numbers or personal information thanks.

Please think about getting help Britta.

D
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Old 12-31-2010, 04:40 PM
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(((((Britta)))))

You are in SERIOUS danger. If you cannot do a computer search, pm the city and state you are in and I will PM you back the nearest Domestic Violence Center's phone number. Call them, tell them exactly what happened when you tried to leave and beg them for help to get you out.

Many DV Centers given that scenario will send escort (usually 2 big brawny guards that do not take any chit from an abuser) to pick you up and bring you to their 'protected environment.'

Sweetie he is mentally and physically abusing you. Please PM me.

Please do this for you!

Love and hugs,
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Old 01-01-2011, 06:14 PM
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If anyone is still out there, I have an update.
I was able to contact a shelter, had everything ready to go. A police officer showed up at my door with a councelor from the shelter. I guess I don't need to tell you that this officer had convinced the councelor that I was staying . It was a real mess. My husband has the system in his pocket. Well, I paid dearly for this mistake. I thank you all for you generous advice. This is a really complicated situation and it will take more than a few phone calls to fiox. I truly appreciate all of your help and love!!
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Old 01-01-2011, 06:27 PM
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My husband has the system in his pocket.

Please share how so??

Lots of law enforcement folks in my family including one being killed in the line of duty (although a while ago) and I could never pull off abusing my wife without at least getting kicked out of the house ......
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Old 01-01-2011, 06:32 PM
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It's all politics and lots of money
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Old 01-01-2011, 06:33 PM
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Britta

I have just sent you a PM but not sure if it went through or not. Let me know.

Melissa
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Old 01-01-2011, 06:33 PM
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Did you see the counselor from the shelter? Did you tell her you wanted to leave?
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Old 01-01-2011, 06:36 PM
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Peanuts: Thanx... I got it.
Sukki44883: I did tell her, but the seed was planted. Apparently I am a drama queen. I "love to play the victim". It was so horrible. All I know is that I cant get out
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