It does get better
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
It does get better
Hey everyone! I have been going through quite a funk for the last 5 days. I've been irratable, angry, and discontent (like the BB talks about). Yesterday was the peak. I had so much stuff going around in my head and I couldn't seem to quiet it. Although I wasn't seriously considering drinking again, my mind was wanting it's "calm down juice" - alcohol.
I DID NOT DRINK. I went to meeting after meeting, I came here a lot, I talked to people in recovery, I brought up my struggles at a few meetings, and I prayed. For some reason, I woke up today AND FEEL GREAT!!!
This sobriety thing is one of the weirdest rides I've ever been on. It's strange dealing with real emotion again and having to center myself without the aid of alcohol. I've heard some really good things here and at my meetings that has helped my stat sober. I want to thank everyone here for the help. Who knows, maybe it saved my life
One thing I was told at AA yesterday is it's not that important what we "feel". It's much more important what we "do". Even though I was circling the drain emotionally I was still trying to do the things I've been told that works. I felt very disconnected at times over the past week, but I kept at it. I feel that I am reaping the benifits of that work today! No matter what happens in my life I NEVER HAVE TO PICK UP ANOTHER DRINK. It's literally that simple. The emotions / cravings will come and go.
To anyone who is feeling a craving so bad they don't know when it will pass. Please take it from me, they really do pass. By giving in we are starting from ground zero. It's self sabatoging at it's finest. Let's all stay strong together. We can all beat this nasty disease one day at a time. We all were put on this earth to help others and find hapiness. Let's not let the disease lie to us and tell us we're not worth it. ALL OF US ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy New Years Eve!!!
I DID NOT DRINK. I went to meeting after meeting, I came here a lot, I talked to people in recovery, I brought up my struggles at a few meetings, and I prayed. For some reason, I woke up today AND FEEL GREAT!!!
This sobriety thing is one of the weirdest rides I've ever been on. It's strange dealing with real emotion again and having to center myself without the aid of alcohol. I've heard some really good things here and at my meetings that has helped my stat sober. I want to thank everyone here for the help. Who knows, maybe it saved my life
One thing I was told at AA yesterday is it's not that important what we "feel". It's much more important what we "do". Even though I was circling the drain emotionally I was still trying to do the things I've been told that works. I felt very disconnected at times over the past week, but I kept at it. I feel that I am reaping the benifits of that work today! No matter what happens in my life I NEVER HAVE TO PICK UP ANOTHER DRINK. It's literally that simple. The emotions / cravings will come and go.
To anyone who is feeling a craving so bad they don't know when it will pass. Please take it from me, they really do pass. By giving in we are starting from ground zero. It's self sabatoging at it's finest. Let's all stay strong together. We can all beat this nasty disease one day at a time. We all were put on this earth to help others and find hapiness. Let's not let the disease lie to us and tell us we're not worth it. ALL OF US ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy New Years Eve!!!
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Drinking over a craving is sort of like getting a bad song in your head and buying the album to get rid of it.
So happy to be spending the last of 2010 alcohol and Justin Bieber free!
Great post, Reggie, and good stuff.
So happy to be spending the last of 2010 alcohol and Justin Bieber free!
Great post, Reggie, and good stuff.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Orlando, Florida
Posts: 214
Yes, Reggie, things Do get better. And, yes, this too shall pass, as they say.
In the beginning, it didn't feel that way. Matter of fact, after 9 months, I went to my sponsor, and asked, "I thought you said things would get better?". He said to me, "Well, if I told ya, some things may get worse first before they got better, would ya have kept coming back?".
Well, after a year or so I was able to save 1,400.00. First time in my life. One of my first material accomplishments in sobriety. Felt good. Then tax time came around. Guess what? Turns out I owed exactly 1,400.00.
Felt like a rug was pulled out under me. BUT I looked up and said, 'that's okay, YOU give me YOUR best shot, cause I AIN'T going down and I'm staying sober!
Then 2 years went by, and I had to take a job transfer and leave my wife and small kids behind which turned into a 28 month separation. Only got to see them 2x a year.
Felt like my heart was being pulled from my chest.
Again, I looked up and said, that's okay, cause I AIN'T going down!
Then when I went up to NY from FL to move them down finally, my wife's kitchen caught fire.....my dog suffocated, I got treated for smoke inhalation, got sued by the insurance company for 62,000 (which settled out of court 4 years later for 5,000 plus 5,500 in lawyer fees).....
Being 4 years at the time, I thought God and his buddies were looking down saying, 'this guy's gotten through some tough things so far...let's see how he handles THIS!'
...and once again, I looked up and said, no biggie, I AIN'T going down!! YOU give me YOUR best shot PAL!!
Well, at 9 years sober, I get diagnosed with HEP C. And over the next 5 years, I endure two Interferon treatments, one which almost kills me, almost losing my immune system and having severe allergic reactions, and neither treatment even doing any good, as I have the hardest strain there is to treat.
And yet again, I look up, and insist, this is NOT going to control my life....I AM going on.
At about 19 years sober, for about 3 years, my bigoted, racist, evil father in law comes to live with us the next three winters.
After enduring living with that man....I go out to a field one evening and I look up and I yell.....
"IF THIS WAS A CONTEST....YOU WON, OKAY???!!!"
It's been 23 years, and it's always been a given that 'this too shall pass, and, yes, things DO get better.
Doctors have yet to explain to me how my liver, which was once in fibrosis stages have recently shown as 'clear' in latest MRI, though I still maintain a high viral load (HEP C).
PLEASE. If anyone who knows they have HEP C.
Here is something to think about to have some motivatin to get sober. If you drink alcohol knowing you have HEP C, you are committing suicide. I will leave you no excuse to plead ignorance.
In the beginning, it didn't feel that way. Matter of fact, after 9 months, I went to my sponsor, and asked, "I thought you said things would get better?". He said to me, "Well, if I told ya, some things may get worse first before they got better, would ya have kept coming back?".
Well, after a year or so I was able to save 1,400.00. First time in my life. One of my first material accomplishments in sobriety. Felt good. Then tax time came around. Guess what? Turns out I owed exactly 1,400.00.
Felt like a rug was pulled out under me. BUT I looked up and said, 'that's okay, YOU give me YOUR best shot, cause I AIN'T going down and I'm staying sober!
Then 2 years went by, and I had to take a job transfer and leave my wife and small kids behind which turned into a 28 month separation. Only got to see them 2x a year.
Felt like my heart was being pulled from my chest.
Again, I looked up and said, that's okay, cause I AIN'T going down!
Then when I went up to NY from FL to move them down finally, my wife's kitchen caught fire.....my dog suffocated, I got treated for smoke inhalation, got sued by the insurance company for 62,000 (which settled out of court 4 years later for 5,000 plus 5,500 in lawyer fees).....
Being 4 years at the time, I thought God and his buddies were looking down saying, 'this guy's gotten through some tough things so far...let's see how he handles THIS!'
...and once again, I looked up and said, no biggie, I AIN'T going down!! YOU give me YOUR best shot PAL!!
Well, at 9 years sober, I get diagnosed with HEP C. And over the next 5 years, I endure two Interferon treatments, one which almost kills me, almost losing my immune system and having severe allergic reactions, and neither treatment even doing any good, as I have the hardest strain there is to treat.
And yet again, I look up, and insist, this is NOT going to control my life....I AM going on.
At about 19 years sober, for about 3 years, my bigoted, racist, evil father in law comes to live with us the next three winters.
After enduring living with that man....I go out to a field one evening and I look up and I yell.....
"IF THIS WAS A CONTEST....YOU WON, OKAY???!!!"
It's been 23 years, and it's always been a given that 'this too shall pass, and, yes, things DO get better.
Doctors have yet to explain to me how my liver, which was once in fibrosis stages have recently shown as 'clear' in latest MRI, though I still maintain a high viral load (HEP C).
PLEASE. If anyone who knows they have HEP C.
Here is something to think about to have some motivatin to get sober. If you drink alcohol knowing you have HEP C, you are committing suicide. I will leave you no excuse to plead ignorance.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Originally Posted by reggiewayne 
No matter what happens in my life I NEVER HAVE TO PICK UP ANOTHER DRINK. It's literally that simple. The emotions / cravings will come and go.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Tampa
Posts: 178
You're right. It's just that simple. I said no more, promised myself and my kids and woke up to a new life. If you had to part with air, food, loved ones, paycheck, or any of those things we really need, then allowed ourselves to beleive that alcohol was amongst those things... then had to part with one... The choice would be easy.
Since we have to make a decision to part ways with it, in order to find true happiness and contentment within ourselves, why give it power to feel like it's needed. Let it go like a dirty diaper. No trauma, no tears, no fond memories... Just a part of our lives that once was, that we CHOSE to let go. A decision we can live with, without regrets. We are empowered, free, and as many drinkers call us "holier than thou." Maybe to a degree, they are right. We were once 'thou' too though, and we know both sides of the coin.
Since we have to make a decision to part ways with it, in order to find true happiness and contentment within ourselves, why give it power to feel like it's needed. Let it go like a dirty diaper. No trauma, no tears, no fond memories... Just a part of our lives that once was, that we CHOSE to let go. A decision we can live with, without regrets. We are empowered, free, and as many drinkers call us "holier than thou." Maybe to a degree, they are right. We were once 'thou' too though, and we know both sides of the coin.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Way to go Reggie. Happy New Year to you Mister! One sign of a true addict..just got back from going out in subzero weather complete with winds and blowing snow to pick up a carton of smokes. When you do get ready to give the d@mn things up..gimma a yell. I need a quit buddy.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Thanks for the great post, reggie! One thing for sure: if we don't stay sober we'll never see that it DOES get better. Thanks to you too, Nyte - your post made me realize how good my life is right now, even though the past week hasn't been easy....
We're stronger and better people each and every time we get through a rough time. Congrats to all who choose sobriety today!
We're stronger and better people each and every time we get through a rough time. Congrats to all who choose sobriety today!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Originally Posted by Nyte Byrd
Yes, Reggie, things Do get better. And, yes, this too shall pass, as they say.
In the beginning, it didn't feel that way. Matter of fact, after 9 months, I went to my sponsor, and asked, "I thought you said things would get better?". He said to me, "Well, if I told ya, some things may get worse first before they got better, would ya have kept coming back?".
Well, after a year or so I was able to save 1,400.00. First time in my life. One of my first material accomplishments in sobriety. Felt good. Then tax time came around. Guess what? Turns out I owed exactly 1,400.00.
Felt like a rug was pulled out under me. BUT I looked up and said, 'that's okay, YOU give me YOUR best shot, cause I AIN'T going down and I'm staying sober!
Then 2 years went by, and I had to take a job transfer and leave my wife and small kids behind which turned into a 28 month separation. Only got to see them 2x a year.
Felt like my heart was being pulled from my chest.
Again, I looked up and said, that's okay, cause I AIN'T going down!
Then when I went up to NY from FL to move them down finally, my wife's kitchen caught fire.....my dog suffocated, I got treated for smoke inhalation, got sued by the insurance company for 62,000 (which settled out of court 4 years later for 5,000 plus 5,500 in lawyer fees).....
Being 4 years at the time, I thought God and his buddies were looking down saying, 'this guy's gotten through some tough things so far...let's see how he handles THIS!'
...and once again, I looked up and said, no biggie, I AIN'T going down!! YOU give me YOUR best shot PAL!!
Well, at 9 years sober, I get diagnosed with HEP C. And over the next 5 years, I endure two Interferon treatments, one which almost kills me, almost losing my immune system and having severe allergic reactions, and neither treatment even doing any good, as I have the hardest strain there is to treat.
And yet again, I look up, and insist, this is NOT going to control my life....I AM going on.
At about 19 years sober, for about 3 years, my bigoted, racist, evil father in law comes to live with us the next three winters.
After enduring living with that man....I go out to a field one evening and I look up and I yell.....
"IF THIS WAS A CONTEST....YOU WON, OKAY???!!!"
It's been 23 years, and it's always been a given that 'this too shall pass, and, yes, things DO get better.
Doctors have yet to explain to me how my liver, which was once in fibrosis stages have recently shown as 'clear' in latest MRI, though I still maintain a high viral load (HEP C).
PLEASE. If anyone who knows they have HEP C.
Here is something to think about to have some motivatin to get sober. If you drink alcohol knowing you have HEP C, you are committing suicide. I will leave you no excuse to plead ignorance.
In the beginning, it didn't feel that way. Matter of fact, after 9 months, I went to my sponsor, and asked, "I thought you said things would get better?". He said to me, "Well, if I told ya, some things may get worse first before they got better, would ya have kept coming back?".
Well, after a year or so I was able to save 1,400.00. First time in my life. One of my first material accomplishments in sobriety. Felt good. Then tax time came around. Guess what? Turns out I owed exactly 1,400.00.
Felt like a rug was pulled out under me. BUT I looked up and said, 'that's okay, YOU give me YOUR best shot, cause I AIN'T going down and I'm staying sober!
Then 2 years went by, and I had to take a job transfer and leave my wife and small kids behind which turned into a 28 month separation. Only got to see them 2x a year.
Felt like my heart was being pulled from my chest.
Again, I looked up and said, that's okay, cause I AIN'T going down!
Then when I went up to NY from FL to move them down finally, my wife's kitchen caught fire.....my dog suffocated, I got treated for smoke inhalation, got sued by the insurance company for 62,000 (which settled out of court 4 years later for 5,000 plus 5,500 in lawyer fees).....
Being 4 years at the time, I thought God and his buddies were looking down saying, 'this guy's gotten through some tough things so far...let's see how he handles THIS!'
...and once again, I looked up and said, no biggie, I AIN'T going down!! YOU give me YOUR best shot PAL!!
Well, at 9 years sober, I get diagnosed with HEP C. And over the next 5 years, I endure two Interferon treatments, one which almost kills me, almost losing my immune system and having severe allergic reactions, and neither treatment even doing any good, as I have the hardest strain there is to treat.
And yet again, I look up, and insist, this is NOT going to control my life....I AM going on.
At about 19 years sober, for about 3 years, my bigoted, racist, evil father in law comes to live with us the next three winters.
After enduring living with that man....I go out to a field one evening and I look up and I yell.....
"IF THIS WAS A CONTEST....YOU WON, OKAY???!!!"
It's been 23 years, and it's always been a given that 'this too shall pass, and, yes, things DO get better.
Doctors have yet to explain to me how my liver, which was once in fibrosis stages have recently shown as 'clear' in latest MRI, though I still maintain a high viral load (HEP C).
PLEASE. If anyone who knows they have HEP C.
Here is something to think about to have some motivatin to get sober. If you drink alcohol knowing you have HEP C, you are committing suicide. I will leave you no excuse to plead ignorance.
Your story is an sad but inspiring one! Good luck to you! Happy New Year!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Orlando, Florida
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by Supercrew
Jeez, what's your real name??? Job?
Your story is an sad but inspiring one! Good luck to you! Happy New Year!
Your story is an sad but inspiring one! Good luck to you! Happy New Year!
Now, someone else, may have taken that in a derogatory way. Me? I felt like a million. I just may have saved some kid a life of horror.
I looked at him and said, 'well, that's why I'm here!...so you don't HAVE to!'. I consider myself very fortunate today to have been given another chance at the age of 36 to do this thing called LIFE the right way. I am 59 now and I am well aware that the success rate of long term heroin users isn't exactly popping the charts. I used to ask...'why me? why am I one of the ones who have made it thusfar. Well, I don't ask that anymore. I ask instead 'why not?'. I can only say it is because I do not just have a desire to stay clean and sober. I have a 'burning' desire to do so and I have no conditions on my sobriety. AA may not have the ticket to heaven but it sure had the key to hell to unlock the gates and let me out. The good times sober thankfully have far outweighed the trials and tribulations I have had to endure. And there are others who are enduring much worse than I could ever imagine, I am sure. I hope they, too, get the same gift of desperation I was afforded. And I hope they want to keep it as bad as I do if they do receive it.
I actually consider I have it made today. If I told you the before and after story, it's hard to believe. Today,
I am retired, house paid off, debt free, sons grown up and own their own homes. ME. I actually own a home.
This junkie from NY. Incredible. All because I listened to suggestions in the rooms and simply did what others did that worked for them. Went to meetings, didn't pick up even when my butt was falling off.
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