justjo

I agree with Lushwell - One thing I know for me though is this, If Im honest with MYSELF, Im honest with everyone else.

I would be truthful to myself, it is the only way to recovery, hiding things from yourself or anyone else for that matter will only prolong your recovery.

I remember when my ex had been hiding something from me and all I can remember was ' youve been doing this for 12 months?? ' Im the one who felt bad because I just didnt want to see it, I suspected it but didnt have the guts to ask about it. I needed proof.
Dont do that to your wife. If she finds out later about the making out, (even if it was one night) my guess is, she wont trust you at all then.
JJ

Surlyredhead

I know that sinking feeling you must have right now, I have relapsed many times myself.
One of the greatest gifts we have in recovery...is the gift of being able to forgive ourselves for slipping. It doesn't make you a bad person to have relapsed, it means you are sick (like we all are) Alcholism is one bad MFer, it doesn't like to lose..., it will sneak back into our sub-conscious anytime we are not ACTIVLY working our recovery.

While I agree with others who asked what led you to drink....right now, I think you will do yourself a great service if you forgive yourself for being sick, forgive yourself for drinking...and be grateful you are sober today, trying to start over again (I never made it back after one day....it was usually over a year) .

I don't know what you are planning to tell your wife, there are a lot of different opinions here, but I am not sure telling her you kissed another woman when drunk (if that is all it was) isn't going to do more harm than good...you can't change it, but you can make sure it doesn't happen again...only you can make that decision...and you need to make sure you can live with it once you make it.

Either way..I am glad you are here, be kind to yourself and good luck,

Cathy

Snarf

I was just thinking something similar to this. Stilltryinghard, on Christmas Day I reached 9 months without a drink. I hear that 9 month chip is the toughest to achieve in AA, so I'm kinda proud of making it this far. And during the holidays, with everyone drinking around me, I've sometimes found myself thinking, "I got 9 months under my belt. I know I can control myself now. So maybe just a couple drinks with friends and family won't be so bad."

But then I read a post like yours, and it changes those thoughts. Perhaps if I went out for a drink it wouldn't lead to another 12-year bender, but even 1 night of drinking could have big consequences for me. So I'm very thankful that you decided to post here, as your story has already helped me and I'm sure others as well.

As for your current situation, good on you for deciding that once was enough and you're not going to fall back into the old lifestyle. It's always tricky giving relationship advice, because all relationships are different. I believe I would definitely tell my fiancee about the relapse, but not making out with another girl. But again, that's me and my fiancee, and I'm not familiar with you or yours. I do know that I would be saying lots of prayers, looking for guidance on the issue.

And I will be saying prayers for you as well. Prayer, sponsor, meetings good; alcohol, random make-outs, guilt and remorse bad. Thanks for being here, for yourself and all the rest of us.