Hi folks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Tampa
Posts: 178
Hi folks
I just joined. Alcohol has been a regular part of my life for a long time. I recently found out what a filthy lying habit it is though and we had to part ways. We did so on August 14, 2010.
I'm a single dad and a straight arrow. Not even a speeding ticket since my teens. Nothing. I'm dedicated to my the two loves of my life, my teenage daughter and son. They are above all, my pride and joy in life.
On August 14th, 2010, after having a few drinks at an unlces place, while visitng with my kids, I headed for home. I felt fine to drive and in complete control. As I approached a corner on that dark country road, I was startled by a flash of red lights. In that particular instant, I thought brake lights and hit the brakes too hard and my car touched the dirt shoulder. That was it. My car went off the road, into the bushes, clipping small trees and rolled.
I thank my God in heaven above for sparing my children even a scratch and I myself only recieving a few minor scratches.
An ambulance took me to the hospital where I was checked out and later released. Prior to release an officer came into the ER area and requested a blood sample, which I whole heartedly complied with, thinking I was probably not impaired. The blood results proved my 'thinking" WRONG!
My losses are the beautiful car I bought brand new in '03 and fixed up. Other gearhead (aka auto enthusiast) buddies and I would frequent car shows and it was a beauty. It's gone forever now... and oddly enough, I DONT MISS IT! It was just one of the losses alcohol brought me, but one I can part ways with.
My biggest loss is my self respect. My children... I haven't made it a day since that night without my heart feeling being on the floor. My kids know my sorrow and have told me they never want me to appologize ever again. They are indeed the most awesome kids and the greatest blessings in this mans life. My daughter has been a driver for three years now. She says I responded the same way she would. But that will never convince me that I couldn't have done better for them.
That night was the last time alcohol would be a part of my life. I'm bitter and resentful to having allowed it to be a part of my life now. Every day closed out with happy hour. Always at home, mind you. But it was an addiction, much like the cigarettes I gave up almost four years ago.
All Alcohol has left me with is sorrow for allowing it to potentially jeopardize innocent drivers lives, my childrens lives and my own life. It has left me with shame, depression, disappointment in the daddy I have always been, the man that I have tried to be, the threat of losing my job of 15 years if I end up in jail or unable to commute, potential fines I cannot afford, thousands in attorneys fees, a 10k balance on a car that no longer exists, on top of the debts I already struggle to dutyfully maintain and a realization of failure to comply with the laws of our roads, which I have always taken seriously.
On the positive side, I awoke on August 15th to the reality that my beautiful daughter and awesome son were healthy well and loving me. They have learned first hand what never to do and I encourage them to share it with their close freinds, so they too may hopefully know better. We have tomorrow because of a miracle. Although I will struggle with my conscience and finances and what ever else... All the losses in this world are worthy of the trade for my children and for my freedom from alcohol.
I hope and pray that all inflicted by this addiction may learn what I always knew, there is and always was a way to put alcohol down once and for good. I gave myself the name "I spy sobriety" for a reason. In my life with alcohol, sobriety was there every morning and all day, until happy hour. Had I spied sobriety, I would have found it. It was always there to be found.
Sorry for the long winded intro.
I'll be here adding days to my new life and my new life of sobriety. If you need me, please never hesitate. The key to quitting is probably to never stop trying!
God bless!
I'm a single dad and a straight arrow. Not even a speeding ticket since my teens. Nothing. I'm dedicated to my the two loves of my life, my teenage daughter and son. They are above all, my pride and joy in life.
On August 14th, 2010, after having a few drinks at an unlces place, while visitng with my kids, I headed for home. I felt fine to drive and in complete control. As I approached a corner on that dark country road, I was startled by a flash of red lights. In that particular instant, I thought brake lights and hit the brakes too hard and my car touched the dirt shoulder. That was it. My car went off the road, into the bushes, clipping small trees and rolled.
I thank my God in heaven above for sparing my children even a scratch and I myself only recieving a few minor scratches.
An ambulance took me to the hospital where I was checked out and later released. Prior to release an officer came into the ER area and requested a blood sample, which I whole heartedly complied with, thinking I was probably not impaired. The blood results proved my 'thinking" WRONG!
My losses are the beautiful car I bought brand new in '03 and fixed up. Other gearhead (aka auto enthusiast) buddies and I would frequent car shows and it was a beauty. It's gone forever now... and oddly enough, I DONT MISS IT! It was just one of the losses alcohol brought me, but one I can part ways with.
My biggest loss is my self respect. My children... I haven't made it a day since that night without my heart feeling being on the floor. My kids know my sorrow and have told me they never want me to appologize ever again. They are indeed the most awesome kids and the greatest blessings in this mans life. My daughter has been a driver for three years now. She says I responded the same way she would. But that will never convince me that I couldn't have done better for them.
That night was the last time alcohol would be a part of my life. I'm bitter and resentful to having allowed it to be a part of my life now. Every day closed out with happy hour. Always at home, mind you. But it was an addiction, much like the cigarettes I gave up almost four years ago.
All Alcohol has left me with is sorrow for allowing it to potentially jeopardize innocent drivers lives, my childrens lives and my own life. It has left me with shame, depression, disappointment in the daddy I have always been, the man that I have tried to be, the threat of losing my job of 15 years if I end up in jail or unable to commute, potential fines I cannot afford, thousands in attorneys fees, a 10k balance on a car that no longer exists, on top of the debts I already struggle to dutyfully maintain and a realization of failure to comply with the laws of our roads, which I have always taken seriously.
On the positive side, I awoke on August 15th to the reality that my beautiful daughter and awesome son were healthy well and loving me. They have learned first hand what never to do and I encourage them to share it with their close freinds, so they too may hopefully know better. We have tomorrow because of a miracle. Although I will struggle with my conscience and finances and what ever else... All the losses in this world are worthy of the trade for my children and for my freedom from alcohol.
I hope and pray that all inflicted by this addiction may learn what I always knew, there is and always was a way to put alcohol down once and for good. I gave myself the name "I spy sobriety" for a reason. In my life with alcohol, sobriety was there every morning and all day, until happy hour. Had I spied sobriety, I would have found it. It was always there to be found.
Sorry for the long winded intro.
I'll be here adding days to my new life and my new life of sobriety. If you need me, please never hesitate. The key to quitting is probably to never stop trying!
God bless!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((ISPY))) - Welcome to SR!!! So very glad that you and your kids were not hurt when the car rolled, and congratulations on the sober time!! SR has been a huge part of my recovery, and it's good to have a place to go where people understand us. I know the feelings of shame for what I've done well, but it gets better the more we work at our recovery. Welcome to the family
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Hi ISpy...welcome. You lived what I feared..I had friends all around me get into wrecks..lose their license..one will never recover from injuries he sustained while driving drunk. I started to feel this impending doom. It was happening all around me..I could be next! I have driven drunk..not proud of it but I have done it many times. We become a legend in our own minds..and maybe..we have been drinking so long that we don't know when we are impaired or drunk. I had my tolerance built up to a frightening level. I quit. Threw in the towel. I also have been through losing a couple of good friends to drinking related deaths..all combined..it made me angry and I can't seem to get rid of it. I HATE ALCOHOL now. Never thought the day would come..but I am forever grateful! Hope to hear from you often.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Hi and Welcome!
That was clearly a defining moment for you. I'm glad no one was seriously injured and that it was the wake-up call that you needed. I do understand how much it hurts to fully realize what mistakes we made while under the influence of alcohol. I think you should be proud of yourself for deciding to live a sober life.
That was clearly a defining moment for you. I'm glad no one was seriously injured and that it was the wake-up call that you needed. I do understand how much it hurts to fully realize what mistakes we made while under the influence of alcohol. I think you should be proud of yourself for deciding to live a sober life.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome and thank you for a really inspiring post, ISpy. Congratulations on your sober time too.
You story could have happened to me any number of times. I'm glad you shared this with your children - it could make a huge difference in their lives too. Glad you've joined!!
You story could have happened to me any number of times. I'm glad you shared this with your children - it could make a huge difference in their lives too. Glad you've joined!!
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