I had one sip of beer
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 43
I dont think you should beat yourself up over the sip. This is a really hard time of the year to get past so just learn from this and stay focused. As for your hubby, it sounds like his idea of a good time is the same as yours was just a short time ago. Just because you found a new enlightened existence doesnt mean everyone else will. I think you might focus and getting on the same page with him. I cant image recovery living with a drinker. That seems impossible to me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Upstate NY, in the Adirondacks
Posts: 232
Hi Oak,
I have had to make some difficult decisions, including one about this New Year's Eve, and about not going over to friends' houses, or going out to dinner, or celebrating NYE the way we all have for about 6 years. But I have to!!! I cannot be in situations where I will be surrounded by alcohol, and drinking and drunk people. You said you have to tag along with your husband because there's nowhere else to go, but can you stay where you are staying? A good book or magazine, some hot chocolate, I have to be honest - I would much prefer that kind of night over a night at my dh's friends house with a bunch of loud drinking people, watching my dh pound the beers down!! He is a grown-up. Let him find his own way there and home. Your sobriety, if like mine, is a matter of life and death, or at least a matter of my brain's health, in my case. So I treasure my sobriety, I fight for it, I will do or not do anything that threatens it. And yes, IMHO, a sip is drinking.
I had a terrible dream that I had ONE sip of whisky, and I was so upset, because I am also on Women for Sobriety, and I have a ticker there, and I was going to have to reset my ticker. I think that is the honest and healthy thing to do for yourself. You did have a drink. Yes, there were things that pushed you there, but you did it. You chose it. I think you have to own it. Or at least I would. Painful, but I would not feel "true" to my old sobriety date if I had drank anything.
Take care of you and your sobriety first, worry about everyone else later,
Best,
nancy
I have had to make some difficult decisions, including one about this New Year's Eve, and about not going over to friends' houses, or going out to dinner, or celebrating NYE the way we all have for about 6 years. But I have to!!! I cannot be in situations where I will be surrounded by alcohol, and drinking and drunk people. You said you have to tag along with your husband because there's nowhere else to go, but can you stay where you are staying? A good book or magazine, some hot chocolate, I have to be honest - I would much prefer that kind of night over a night at my dh's friends house with a bunch of loud drinking people, watching my dh pound the beers down!! He is a grown-up. Let him find his own way there and home. Your sobriety, if like mine, is a matter of life and death, or at least a matter of my brain's health, in my case. So I treasure my sobriety, I fight for it, I will do or not do anything that threatens it. And yes, IMHO, a sip is drinking.
I had a terrible dream that I had ONE sip of whisky, and I was so upset, because I am also on Women for Sobriety, and I have a ticker there, and I was going to have to reset my ticker. I think that is the honest and healthy thing to do for yourself. You did have a drink. Yes, there were things that pushed you there, but you did it. You chose it. I think you have to own it. Or at least I would. Painful, but I would not feel "true" to my old sobriety date if I had drank anything.
Take care of you and your sobriety first, worry about everyone else later,
Best,
nancy
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Oak....I am glad you shared and vented. You had a sip and what you do with that is up to you.
What I can tell you is that I have had quite a few things happen to me in recovery that have rattled this cage. Recently I have hit a rough patch - a culmination of stress that I can not remove. What I am doing is digging the heels in here and using my recovery to see me through. Working at it day by day and using these situations to grow stronger.
Seems to me that you have not that much support with your drinking from your spouse. My husband drinks too......not often and sure as heck has far more to live for in life then to pal around the watering holes - especially with a alcoholic wife in recovery. What I do know is that he nor anyone is responsible for me. I am my own keeper which is why a solid plan of recovery is important.
Thankfully you are here, you may be upset but you know the red flags and now it is what to do. Suggestion - work your recovery with everything you have. If you find you are lacking the tools to make continuous progress then add to it....change it up if need be.
On the whole going with your spouse because of nothing to do....well that now is an excuse. I have been around drinking....attended a few bars....etc. Not my bag and its just not me really so those scenarios are limited. What I embrace are sober activities now and it just fits me better.
You got this and you know the potential to slide right back so you keep working your recovery.
You have loads of encouragement and sound input here. We get it and will support your positive efforts 100%! Keep moving forward friend.
What I can tell you is that I have had quite a few things happen to me in recovery that have rattled this cage. Recently I have hit a rough patch - a culmination of stress that I can not remove. What I am doing is digging the heels in here and using my recovery to see me through. Working at it day by day and using these situations to grow stronger.
Seems to me that you have not that much support with your drinking from your spouse. My husband drinks too......not often and sure as heck has far more to live for in life then to pal around the watering holes - especially with a alcoholic wife in recovery. What I do know is that he nor anyone is responsible for me. I am my own keeper which is why a solid plan of recovery is important.
Thankfully you are here, you may be upset but you know the red flags and now it is what to do. Suggestion - work your recovery with everything you have. If you find you are lacking the tools to make continuous progress then add to it....change it up if need be.
On the whole going with your spouse because of nothing to do....well that now is an excuse. I have been around drinking....attended a few bars....etc. Not my bag and its just not me really so those scenarios are limited. What I embrace are sober activities now and it just fits me better.
You got this and you know the potential to slide right back so you keep working your recovery.
You have loads of encouragement and sound input here. We get it and will support your positive efforts 100%! Keep moving forward friend.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 279
Thanks everyone. I wish I had more time to respond to evertything. Ive been doing a lot of thinking today. Drunk people have been annoying to me for a very long time, even when I was drinking. In fact that's part of why I wanted to quit. About half the attendees at that party have duis on their record. My husband doesnt think I have a problem so he's not about to go changing his plans for my recovery. He doesn't think there's anything to recover from. We have discusses so many times in the past few years quitting drinking together. One time he practically begged me to help him quit. Of course he doesn't remember that now.
Regarding that night anyway, there was really nowhere else for me to go. We were to drive back home that night. We were staying with his mom, but even she lives about 30 minutes out in the boonies. She was with her boyfriends family that night though. Nothing open except for bars, and the only two friends I have there were at the party.
Anyway. I'm over it for now. I'm not gonna get caught up in whether or not it was a true relapse or whether I need to reset my date, that's not really the point. Thanks for all the responses I just had to get it all out.
Regarding that night anyway, there was really nowhere else for me to go. We were to drive back home that night. We were staying with his mom, but even she lives about 30 minutes out in the boonies. She was with her boyfriends family that night though. Nothing open except for bars, and the only two friends I have there were at the party.
Anyway. I'm over it for now. I'm not gonna get caught up in whether or not it was a true relapse or whether I need to reset my date, that's not really the point. Thanks for all the responses I just had to get it all out.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Good idea. I have always found that the past stubbornly refused all my attempts to mold it differently. 
Dates aren't important either. It's a number, it doesn't tell your story.
Glad to hear you seem to be doing better.
Dates aren't important either. It's a number, it doesn't tell your story.
Glad to hear you seem to be doing better.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
